Hopes and Fears
by With Good Grace
Summary: This is the story of how Rachel and Quinn met at swim lessons at age five, how they became best friends, how they were ripped apart by the trivialities of society, and then somehow fell in love.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these incredible characters. I'm just playing with them ;)  
>Hello, my lovely readers! It's been awhile, hasn't it? Thanks for taking the time to read this little story. I really hope you enjoy it. I must thank my incredible betas, Tori and Charlie, who worked tirelessly to make sure this had no typos and made sense. I love them both more than than ever know. Please, please review. I really really love hearing from you guys! Expect a new chapter every Monday Wednesday and Friday. Happy Reading!<br>**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 <strong>

_July 16th, 2010_

_Summer into Junior year_

"_Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?"_

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><p><em>This is a bad idea. <em>

A light pink one-piece bathing suit dangled off of the desk chair. It taunted her.

_Such a bad idea._

She tilted her head.

_Okay not only is this a bad idea, it is incredibly irrational. This simply will not work. _

Rachel Berry was a runner. Every morning, after a song of her iPod's choice woke her up gently from a lengthy slumber, she got up from her bed, threw on her work-out clothing, and hopped onto her elliptical. It was natural and helped shape the woman, on the outside at least, she was today. Her toned legs and sharpened arms had been single-handedly created by the custom piece of plastic to the right of her closet.

However today, at 5:30am, the pool seemed to be calling her. She knew where the pool was. How could she forget? Her bike was in good enough condition to get her there. The bathing suit she was currently staring at had never been worn before. To the left of the garment was a pair of matching goggles and a neon pink bathing cap. Essentially, Rachel had everything that she needed to go to the 6:30am adult lap swim session offered at the community swimming pool; she simply lacked the courage.

It wasn't because she couldn't swim. Her fathers' money spent on swim lessons were proof enough that she could stay afloat and then some. She just hadn't been to that pool in years, at least five years if she were to estimate. Who was she kidding, she had kept an exact count. It had been five years and seven months since she had been inside the Lima Community Center swimming pool. It had been five years and seven months since she had padded down the tiled hallways to the locker room, past the naked baby boys and their frustrated mothers, and into the hellishly hot pool deck.

Why the sudden change? Rachel sighed. It felt like her mind was playing games with her. There was no legitimate reason for the change. It wasn't because she needed a change in aerobic exercise or because she had blisters from running. It was because lately her past had begun to haunt her. Daydreams and the regular night kind had invaded her normally tidy mind and made a messy emotional permanent home.

She had to at least see if they had done any renovations. Maybe they finally installed some windows into the pool or added televisions to the ellipticals in the gym. Or maybe they finally replaced the deteriorating lap lanes in the outdoor pool that she cut her foot on when she was eight.

_Okay now I'm just making petty excuses._

She just needed one final act of closure before she returned her attention to singing and preparing for college. Rachel took a deep breath and got up from her perch on the bed. With small steps she dramatically picked up the suit and held it to her frame. It would fit. She slid out of her clothing and into the bathing suit before walking into the hallway to get a towel from the linen closet.

Tiptoeing past her fathers' bedroom, Rachel proceeded to stealthily descend to the kitchen and grab an apple. The rising sun peeked through the handpicked curtains her fathers chose sixteen years ago and illuminated the kitchen. She smiled at the yellow swirls of color painted on the light material and the small light pink dots scattered throughout. They reminded her of sunshine. Those curtains have a story, Leroy always told her. They hadn't yet told her said story but she knew it was one of those things perhaps only the pair would understand.

She still couldn't believe she was going through with this. As her bathing suit rode up, Rachel grabbed her house keys and as quietly as possible left through the kitchen door into the garage. The air was cool and refreshing. The brunette inhaled contently, reveling in the blissfully quiet summer morning.

All she heard were a few birds singing softly and the bugs buzzing while she searched for her helmet and pulled out her bike. It was a birthday gift she had received for thirteenth birthday. Luckily, Rachel hadn't grown an inch. She had checked persistently with her father to see if anything had changed. It never ended well. The bike was light pink with white stripes and a white basket on the front handlebar. She threw her bag into the basket and hopped up onto the seat.

Minutes later she was on the road. Well, she was on the sidewalk, safety first, but with the wind blowing through her hair Rachel felt free. It was exhilarating. The roads were deserted. It was almost as if she could hear peace. Her legs began to pump harder just to feel the breeze.

As she neared the center, her shadow grew with the rising sun. After a left on Park Street, she slowed down, heart racing in her chest, and rode into the parking lot. A few stray cars littered the lot.

Member card in hand, Rachel entered the facility and greeted the secretary warmly, remembering her from her younger years.

"Hello, Mrs. Edmonton," she approached with a smile as she scanned her card.

Mrs. Edmonton stared at her with that _Holy__crap,__girl.__It__'__s__way__to__early__to__be__smiling__like__that_gaze. Rachel's smile never wavered. The secretary hadn't changed a bit.

"Have a nice day, Mrs. Edmonton."

An elderly man held the door for her, and Rachel thanked him before jogging down the steps to the locker room. She paused before entering the familiar place. Was she ready for this?

The basement lobby was practically empty. She looked over her shoulder once more before going inside. The walls were covered in dark yellow tile. Blue lockers lined the walls. To her right, several changing stalls lay dormant. Nothing had changed.

She walked to the back of the room and found her old locker, number four hundred and forty-four. Her fingers traced the cool metal, making their way to the lock to enter the combination.

10-22-10

Rachel grinned when it popped open easily. Within seconds all of her belongings were tucked neatly inside. No one seemed to have used the locker. She had left the lock on ever since she was eleven. Just as she was about to shut the door, a slip of paper caught her eye. Her body froze. Turning it over delicately, Rachel read the childish, swirly yet sloppy handwriting, trying to contain the moisture forming in her eyes, the memories rushing back. Suddenly, she couldn't breathe and swiftly slammed the locker door shut, thankful that the room was practically empty.

Nothing had changed.

It was just a swimming pool, she tried to tell herself. Still, the memories she had made here awakened something inside of her. The instant she said hello to Mrs. Edmonton the young brunette in a pink bathing suit with matching pink flip flops came to life. She was hopeful back then. Nothing was impossible. Everyone was nice and deserved a second chance. There was never a more innocent time in her life. The world was her oyster and she was its pearl, as her Daddy used to tell her. Now she felt like she was drowning.

Slowly she walked towards the entrance, flip-flops catching beneath her feet, and placed a hand to the door with her eyes closed. Why she was getting her hopes up for something that wouldn't happen was beyond her, but a voice inside of her was screaming at her to open it already. So she decided to listen.

And it was the best decision she could have made because as soon as she entered the pool her eyes met the tired gaze of one Quinn Fabray.

Hazel eyes held her still, her feet refusing to move, as her jaw dropped to the floor. Was that really her? Her blonde locks were pulled in a loose ponytail but those eyes gave her away. It was most definitely Quinn, and judging by the look on her face she wasn't expecting the brunette either. Hoping, but certainly not expecting

Rachel finally, after what felt like a century of standing still, she began to make her way down the ramp towards the pool, eyes burning holes into the ground.

_Oh my God. Oh my God. She's here. Oh my God she's actually here._

She hoped Quinn couldn't hear her heart beating. Why was it beating so hard? Though she tried her best to ignore it, she felt the blonde's steel gaze on her body and suddenly she felt completely naked. Wait...was she even wearing a suit? As discretely as possible Rachel peered down and let out a sigh of relief when she reaffirmed that she was indeed clothed.

Without raising her gaze, Rachel plopped her towel onto the bleachers, shook off her flip-flops, and then slid into the empty lane closest to Quinn's stand. Why did it have to be the only open one? Quinn was smiling at the nervous brunette but equally nervous herself. She simply watched Rachel try her best not to make eye contact.

She failed almost instantly. Just as she was about to start her laps, Rachel raised her head up and met Quinn's eyes. A flush of heat ran through her body. Without warning, she pulled the goggles over her eyes and plunged into the cool water.

The water rushed past her bare arms and legs, immediately cooling her down. She focused on her breathing. One, two, three, breathe. One, two, three, breathe. Flip. And then she was off to the other side once more. Though it had been years since she had swam, Rachel felt at home in the water. She relished in how slick the water felt all around her and how smoothly she glided through the water.

Fifteen laps later, Rachel slowed to the wall. She needed a kick board. Reluctantly, she stopped at the wall and rose out of the water. The water glistened on her already tanned skin. Although it was only the first week of July, her skin had darkened faithfully.

Her eyes darted upwards, still concealed by the goggles, and landed on Quinn. They trailed down her long legs dangling over the lifeguard stand. A pair of short red shorts peeked out from behind her legs, and as her eyes moved up she realized that she was blatantly staring. Rachel quickly grabbed her kick board, keeping her eyes straight ahead as she kicked, even though she knew that someone was staring at her the entire time.

Her legs pumped up and down for fifteen more laps until she needed to stop. The waves crashing behind her turned into bubbles trailing at her feet as she approached the wall. She looked to the clock. It was 7:15am. Her parents would be up but she had scribbled a note. She decided to stay until the end of the session.

The next fifteen minutes were spent sprinting freestyle back and forth, back and forth, until she was breathing heavily in and out, heaving air into her hungry lungs. Rachel hopped out of the pool once she regained feeling in her now sore legs and sauntered over to her towel.

As soon as Rachel turned around, towel firmly around her waist, Quinn was right in front of her.

"Hey," she said almost kindly.

Rachel jumped, startled, and then proceeded to gawk. What should she do? What should she say? God, she hoped she didn't ramble.

"Uh," she scrambled for words. What were words? "Good morning, Quinn."

_Okay that was fine._

Quinn smirked. "Come here often?" she asked cooly.

"First time," Rachel replied, still unable to process that this conversation was happening, "I mean I am more of an elliptical girl myself because of the instant gratification of the post-workout sweat but I decided it was time for a change in my aerobic workout and the pool seemed like an ideal place to get that. Plus swimming leaves no room for those dreadful blisters I have from running."

_And there was the rambling. _

Rachel refrained from curling up into the fetal position then and there. Did she seriously just mention her post-workout sweat and her blisters to Quinn Fabray?

What were the odds that the one time she decided to act upon her fantasy of meeting Quinn at the pool her wish was granted? She had no idea what to do. The fantasy always stopped when she opened the door and there sat Quinn in all of her lifeguard short shorts glory.

The blonde giggled at her nervous babbling. "Well, I need to go take the lanes out but there's a gym right next to the locker room if you are in need of a...how did you put it? A post-workout sweat?"

Rachel blushed profusely. All she could do was nod until she eventually took her cue to leave.

"Oh, yes I may need to check that out," she began picking up her goggles, "It was...nice running into you, Quinn."

Quinn smiled as she watched the girl turn towards the ramp, beginning her walk of shame to the locker room shower.

"See you around, Rachel."

Rachel froze as a wide grin invisible to Quinn pervaded her already flushed cheeks. Finding refuge in the locker room, Rachel headed straight for the showers, blasting the water immediately. As the water beat down on her, she replayed the encounter. She really did a number on herself. In a literally two-minute conversation, Rachel had managed to completely humiliate herself.

Though she was normally extremely verbose, Rachel always had trouble fighting off those incessant rambles. It was just a consequence of her busy mind. She sighed into the hot water as she washed off the chlorine from her body. Her hands massaged her shampoo into her hair gently. She was in no hurry.

After her shower, with a towel wrapped tightly around her torso, Rachel padded back to her locker and changed into a pair shorts and T-shirt. It was a bit casual, she had to admit, but for right now it was perfectly comfortable. With all of her belongings packed into her bag, she closed the locker slowly, eyes wandering to that small note. She couldn't take it with her. It belonged there. It held something she couldn't afford to forget.

So she left it behind, along with the memories she had buried long ago on the day that swim lessons, and pink flip flops, and swimming one lap across the pool wasn't enough to keep her happy. It was time to grow up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_June 28th, 1999 _

_Summer into Kindergarten_

"_The place we used to love"_

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><p>Quinn Fabray, a chubby blonde clad in a soft yellow bathing suit, sat patiently with her mother on the bleachers. Her hair was held up in a loose ponytail by a pink ribbon her mother had let her pick out. The air was heavy and thick, and she watched the other children rush to their parents to be enveloped in their towels. Quinn looked up to her mother. The woman was wearing a flowing white blouse with a flowered skirt and was peering around the facility while holding onto her five year old's tiny hand. As her feet swung back and forth, dangling above the tiled floor, Quinn's eyes wandered around and up to the entrance to the pool.<p>

Then, just before the start of the class, two men, one a burly and muscular black man toting a pink-starred towel and the other a shorter man with Irish skin and curly red hair, walked down the ramp grasping the small hands of their daughter. The brunette was smiling a toothy grin as she walked pompously to the bleachers. As the class awaited their instructor's arrival, each child ran, got scolded by the lifeguard, then walked over to the buckets and picked out their flotation. Quinn's mother wrapped the bubble around her daughter's back, tightly pulling on the straps, while the other girl's fathers did the same.

"If you're a starfish come sit on the edge!" a young woman cried out.

Both girls said goodbye to their parents and waddled over to the side of the pool to slide onto their bottoms and dip their toes into the cool water. The parents left the facility reluctantly, not fully ready to entrust their children to a complete stranger, and went to wait in the lobby until the thirty minute lesson was over. Confidently, the girl slid over next to the quiet Quinn and smiled.

"Hi!" she said.

Quinn offered a shy grin as she played with the straps of her bubble nervously.

"Hello."

"I'm Rachel!" the girl declared.

They both giggled loudly.

"I'm Quinn," the small blonde responded.

The instructor laughed at the interaction.

"Rachel, slide in!"

As the instructor took Rachel's hand to go for a swim to the lifeguard stand, Quinn waited anxiously at the wall, watching as the small brunette made her way slowly to the next location, until her time came. She struggled, running frantically beneath the water, but valiantly reached the destination and slid onto her belly up next to the brunette with a smile. The class ran smoothly, each child making strides towards improvement and away from their initial apprehension.

Midway through the third swim, Rachel panicked when she saw the blonde's small torso begin to dip further and further below the surface. Without hesitation, she paddled her way towards her and frantically grabbed Quinn's hand, pulling her upwards as hard as she could.

"Thanks," she huffed heavily as she coughed up the small amount of water she had swallowed.

Rachel nodded and guided her towards the wall to meet back with the rest of the class. Parents returned, slowly filing towards the bleachers to signal the end of the class, and the girls frowned, not really ready to leave yet. Nevertheless, they climbed out of the pool with the rest of the children and walked to their parents to be wrapped up in their towels. Quinn found her mother and took her towel for herself. She watched curiously as Rachel was received warmly into the arms of her parents who showered her with praise. When she looked up to her mother expecting the same, the woman merely gave her a smile.

"Did you have fun?" she asked.

Quinn nodded, slightly disappointed, but forgot about it a second later when she looked back over at Rachel and her family. Something was missing. While her mother conversed with another woman, the blonde waddled over to Rachel.

"Where's your Mommy?" she bluntly asked.

Rachel smiled upon seeing her new friend.

"I don't have one. Those are my daddies," she said as she proudly pointed to her fathers, still blissfully unaware of the unusual nature of her family.

Quinn peered over to where Rachel was pointing and stared. She didn't see anything really wrong about them. They looked nice and much happier than her mother and father. Her hazel eyes quietly observed the two men talking with the instructor, noticing how the taller man had his arm slung protectively around his husband. Though she was five and had no idea was love was, what she saw looked right. So she smiled at Rachel.

"Okay."

Rachel looked up at Quinn's damp locks, eyeing the pink ribbon holding her hair in a ponytail.

"I like your ribbon," she complimented, earning her a blush.

"Thanks," Quinn replied and gazed down to the girl's feet, "I like your flippy floppies," she said with a grin.

"Thanks!"

After smiling at each other for a moment, Quinn tugged Rachel over to her mother.

"Mommy!" she cried, causing her mother to turn her head from her conversation. "This is my friend Rachel."

The woman smiled happily, relieved to see that her daughter was doing well in the class and making friends. When she asked where Rachel's parents were and Quinn pointed to the men a few feet away, Mrs. Fabray's smile faltered.

After politely talking to Rachel's father, Judy said goodbye and guided Quinn to the locker room. Once showered, dried, and changed, the two walked to the car. Judy was at a loss. She would never forbid her daughter from being friends with Rachel. It wasn't her place to dictate her five year old's social life nor did she have a problem with her situation. It was her husband who would be livid if he found out that his young daughter was being exposed to such an "unacceptable and sinful lifestyle."

Judy decided to let her daughter befriend the spunky brunette. During the ride home, when the car halted at a red light, Quinn's mother turned around and gazed at her daughter.

"Quinnie, when we get home I don't want you to tell Daddy about Rachel."

"Why?" Quinn asked with a puzzled look.

Judy's eyes darted down to the floor.

"Daddy doesn't like Rachel's Daddies," she began slowly, "and I'm just worried that if you tell him about her he'll get upset with us. And he might not want you to be her friend even though she is a very sweet girl. I just don't want any trouble, that's all, darling."

Her mother's response confused her. She liked Rachel. She was really nice. She had really pretty flippy floppies too. Why wouldn't Daddy like her too? Mommy liked Rachel. It just didn't make sense to her, but if telling her father meant that she couldn't be Rachel's friend anymore then she would keep this secret forever.

The pair drove home and greeted Russell Fabray with smiles as they entered the home for dinner. As the family sat at the table munching on their meals, Quinn squirmed in her seat trying hard not to burst about Rachel. When it was finally over, the young blonde darted out of her seat and up to her room before she could confess her secret to her father. The man didn't notice a difference in his daughter and shook off her energy easily. Kids would be kids.

Quinn raced down the hallway and into her bedroom. The walls were painted a light yellow, and a white carpet hugged the floor. Against the back wall rested a small single bed with a quilt handmade by her grandmother. Quinn walked past her sister's empty bed and quietly laid in hers.

With her head rested against her pillow, the blonde stared up at her ceiling in confusion. Deciding to just forget about the situation, Quinn hopped off of her bed and over to her dollhouse. There she sat for an hour playing with her sister's old dolls making up a riveting story. It was about a young girl who went to a swimming pool and met another girl. And they played and laughed in the backyard while their daddies cooked dinner. Quinn became lost in her imagination until the opening of the bedroom door startled her straight out of her fantasy.

"Hi, Leslie," she said with a smile.

The elder girl rolled her eyes and plopped onto her substantially larger bed, picking up her book in the process.

"What's with you?" she asked without looking to her sister who remained frozen on the floor with a small doll in her hand.

Quinn squirmed before placing all of the dolls in their beds, making sure to tuck them in and say goodnight.

"Nothing," she murmured as she left the room to brush her teeth.

Once both girls were tucked in bed, Quinn sighed and gazed up to the ceiling. She still had so many questions. Rolling onto her side, the young blonde whispered into the darkness.

"Les?"

Leslie groaned, shifting her weight to face her little sister.

"Yeah?"

Was she allowed to tell Leslie about Rachel? She would probably tell Daddy and Quinn didn't want that. She didn't want her Daddy to be mad at her. She didn't want her Mommy to be mad at her. Most of all she didn't want to make Rachel sad if her Daddy made her not be her friend like Mommy had said he would.

"Never mind."

The five year old shut her eyes, pulling her quilt up towards her chin. She snuggled into the bed as much as she could and clutched onto her stuffed elephant. When she heard Leslie start to snore, she brushed her lips to the toy's ears.

"I made a friend today, Elle" she whispered, "Her name is Rachel. We go swimming at the pool together. She has really pretty flippy floppies and two daddies but no Mommy. They were really nice too like her. But Mommy says I can't tell Daddy about her. He'll be mad at me. And then I can't see her anymore."

She sighed and pulled the toy into her chest.

"I don't know why, Elle."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_July 16th, 2010 - July 17th, 2010_

_Summer into Junior Year_

"_I'll meet you in the morning when you wake"_

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><p>The Berrys sat silently at the dining room table munching on some Thai food Leroy had picked up after his shift at the E.R. Their forks scraped against their yellow plates, the brunette pushing the rice back and forth, back and forth. It was extremely unusual for such silence to occur at a meal. The Berrys were lively folk, always chatting and laughing, especially Rachel, but tonight she seemed to be in her own world.<p>

Hiram quirked an eyebrow towards his husband who was thinking the same thing.

"Rachel?" Hiram asked gently.

Her head shot upwards, and she slowly put a spoonful of rice into her mouth.

"Yes, Daddy?" she asked after she had swallowed.

He cleared his throat. "Is everything alright? You're very quiet tonight."

Rachel's eyes returned to her plate. Her parents were very perceptive and caring, but when it came to Quinn she knew the topic would be a bit rough for them to handle. The girl hadn't been mentioned in their house for five years. Rachel hadn't told them about the slushies and pornographic pictures and other forms of abuse. To them, Quinn was Quinn, a young thin blonde in a yellow bathing suit smiling and kind. To Rachel, Quinn was her weakness, the one person who could destroy her if she wanted to. She wasn't that innocent child anymore.

"I see you went to the pool today?" Leroy pressed onwards, fully aware of the fact that Rachel hadn't been to _that_ pool in years.

"Yes. I felt I needed a change in my exercise regimen. Swimming is an excellent alternative."

Leroy blinked.

"How was it? Same old, same old?"

_You have no idea. _

Rachel contemplated telling them about Quinn. Secrets were another weakness of Rachel's, and she avoided keeping things from her fathers at all costs. She sighed. This wouldn't be an exception.

"I guess you could say that," she began, "I-I saw Quinn today."

Hiram's eyes widened.

"Quinn Fabray?" he asked in a bit of disbelief.

"Yes, Daddy. Quinn Fabray. She's a lifeguard at the pool. I had no idea until I went to lap swim this morning."

The men waited for her to continue, but Rachel simply stared down at her half eaten meal.

"And...?" Leroy prompted again, his and Hiram's curiosity building with each dramatic silence their daughter took.

"And what?" Rachel asked, puzzled but not oblivious.

"Well did you two talk? Are you going to see her again?" Hiram fired out questions that he had been holding in.

Quinn was Rachel's childhood best friend. Of course he was curious as to why after five years her name suddenly resurfaced.

"We did talk but only briefly. I didn't want to disturb her while she was on duty," Rachel began. "I-I'm not sure whether we'll see each other again."

"Well you have to!" Hiram said with a smile, "It's Quinn! I'm sure she'd love to hang out with you. Oh! Lee, honey, we could invite her and Judy over and make that new guacamole recipe we watched on Martha Stewart! And we could rent movies or just talk-or wait! Better yet we could have them over for dinner and we could-"

"Daddy!" Rachel shrieked, her cheeks rapidly reddening in embarrassment, "We just exchanged pleasantries, okay? It is not a big deal."

Leroy remained stoic "Hiram, if Rachel says it's no big deal then it's no big deal."

Rachel couldn't help but smile at her Daddy's interest in her social life, though she was pretty sure said social life was nonexistent. She also couldn't help but notice her Dad's lack of excitement either. It was instinctive she guessed. It was Quinn after all.

Anytime she mentioned a friend her parents instinctively got excited because their daughter was making friends. Rachel appreciated their interest even though it was pathetic.

Hiram gaped at his husband, "Oh Lee lighten up! Rachel, you are going to that pool tomorrow and your Dad will be escorting you instead of that horrendous old bicycle!"

"Oh I don't know, Daddy, my bathing suit is still dirty and I'm not sure if she'll be there tomorrow."

"Excuses, excuses," Hiram scolded playfully, "You're going, Rachel. Final decision. Tell her to say hello to Judy for us."

Leroy scowled. His husband was always too forgiving, he thought, though it was one of the reasons he fell for him. Hiram was ever eager to give people a second chance and the Fabrays were no exception. He sighed and hoped tomorrow would not end badly.

Rachel rolled her eyes; she couldn't get out of not going now. She was obligated because of her goofy parents. As they put away the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, Hiram began babbling on about the guacamole and Leroy blasted the radio. Their laughter filled Rachel up enough to forget about her nerves about going to see Quinn again tomorrow. She simply pushed those thoughts away and enjoyed the music and enjoyed her family.

But then it was 3am. And Rachel still hadn't fallen asleep. She had tucked herself in promptly at 11pm in preparation for her early rise at 6am and in hoping for a good night's rest. Unfortunately, her mind just wouldn't shut off or even slow down. Scenarios of what could happen tomorrow raced through her brain. What if Quinn wasn't there? There was a scenario for that. What if she ignores me? There was a scenario for that. And so on. As the night dragged on, more and more scenarios were conjured in her mind while the butterflies multiplied.

Why was she so nervous? She saw Quinn everyday at school and in glee. What was the difference? The obvious difference was that for the most part Rachel and Quinn ignored each other at school. With the exception of that one conversation they had had when Finn discovered that the child Quinn had been carrying was Noah's, there were no words of malice, no words of any kind for that matter exchanged between the two girls. Nothing. And it was the silence that hurt Rachel more than anything.

Now she had spoken to Quinn. She seemed... almost interested in Rachel. They had made eye contact and Quinn smiled. When was the last time Quinn smiled at her?

Two doors down the hall, Hiram laid in Leroy's strong arms and sighed, Leroy's initial worry finally hitting him hours later.

"Lee?" he asked softly.

He heard his husband murmur a yes sleepily.

"Rach will be okay tomorrow, right?"

The insecurity in his voice woke Leroy up as he shifted to look into Hiram's eyes. He had been thinking the same thing of course. Quinn had the power to break their daughter's heart just as she had broken her heart so many years earlier.

"She's a big girl. I'm sure she can handle it but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. Why do you want her to go so badly?"

"Because Quinn's her best friend," Hiram answered as if it was the easiest question in the world.

"Was her best friend," he corrected.

Hiram sat up taller, "People can change, Lee. You changed, remember? Maybe Quinn changed. We should give this a chance."

"Even if Quinn hurts her again?"

Hiram froze. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to remember that year. It upset him more than he would like to admit. Seeing his daughter so broken had ignited a rage so powerful inside of him. Would tomorrow be any different? He transported himself back to high school, back to Leroy, back to his fears of being gay. And he remembered it like it had happened yesterday.

"I gave you a chance, didn't I?"

Meanwhile, Rachel gazed out her window at the bright moon that peeped through the trees of her backyard. Their conversation replayed in her mind once more.

"See you later, Rachel."

Suddenly, Rachel shot up in her bed. Wait...Quinn said "See you later" which implied that she was counting on Rachel's return! The brunette grinned at her epiphany. Quinn wanted to see her again. That was the only explanation. It was then, as if somebody had flipped a switch, that Rachel could lay back onto her pillow, shut her eyes, and relish in three hours of sleep before she was awoken by the sounds of her iPod.

-/-

Three hours were not nearly long enough. Barely able to open her eyes, Rachel staggered out of her bed and into the bathroom. She splashed cold water onto her face and scrubbed the sleep out of her eyes. That certainly woke her up.

Within minutes she was dressed in a lighter blue argyle bathing suit, a pair of light shorts and a matching tank top. Her trusty flip flops were on her feet and her bag was slung over her shoulder. One deep breath later, she was down the stairs munching on an apple waiting for Leroy.

Her father was downstairs minutes later with a smile and hugged his daughter tightly. Immediately he put a pot of coffee on. The two chatted softly before the machine announced that the coffee was ready.

"Ready?" he asked, grabbing a banana and his cup of coffee.

Rachel nodded and hurried out to the Volvo, throwing her bag in the back seat and strapping herself into the passenger seat. Leroy observed his obviously nervous daughter. She fidgeted in her seat as he backed out of their driveway and headed towards the pool.

He turned on the radio and let the music wash over them.

"Hey, Dad?"

"Hey yeah?"

She giggled. He always did that.

"Are you still mad at Quinn?"

Leroy gripped the wheel a bit tighter, the fury rushing back into him. Then he remembered Hiram and took a deep breath. Second chances.

"Your Daddy says that people can change. And I believe him. I don't know who Quinn is now. Maybe she's different. So no, I can't be mad at her. It's not fair."

Rachel smiled. That was exactly what she wanted to hear. The car pulled up to the front entrance and Rachel took a deep breath.

"Alright, Daddy will pick you up when you're done. He has today off so just call him and he'll be right over okay?"

The brunette nodded. Leroy leaned over, grabbed her hand, and kissed her cheek.

"It'll be fine," he whispered.

Rachel tried to believe him as she got out of the car, took her bag, and walked inside.

"Good morning, Mrs. Edmonton!" she greeted as cheerfully as she could.

The woman, as always, scowled. Rachel hurried down the stairs and into the locker room. Her eyes darted upwards to the clock that read 7:14am. With nimble fingers, she unlocked her locker, avoided looking at the paper still hanging on the wall, shed her clothing and shut it with a loud slam that echoed throughout the empty room.

"Just breathe," she whispered to herself.

This time when she pushed open the door to the warm pool she knew exactly what she would see: Quinn Fabray perched on top of the lifeguard stand in a red hot lifeguarding suit and short red shorts with her whistle dangling at her breasts.

Unfortunately she wasn't any more prepared for the sight. She stood frozen, once again, on the ramp gaping at the blonde. It wasn't a dream, she assured herself. Finally she began her descent to the bleachers where she placed her towel down and slid her shoes off of her feet.

Quinn stared with a small smile from the stand, thanking God for answering her prayers. A tight lighter blue argyle bathing suit clung to her tanned skin. All Quinn could do was stare at the girl's toned back as Rachel pulled her hair into a ponytail.

The brunette turned around and it happened again; their eyes just snapped into focus and held onto each other as she somehow was able to walk to the nearest lane. An older man was swimming in it and touched the wall. He looked up at Rachel.

"You gettin in?" he asked impatiently.

Rachel was brought back to reality and simply nodded. Her throat was dry. Quinn threw her a nod before she slid into the water and began to immediately swim off her frustration. It was like Quinn knew exactly what to do to make her head swim. She couldn't even focus on making words or walking. What was going on? Her arms and legs did their motions but her mind was elsewhere.

She tried to decipher what had changed. Weeks ago the blonde was simply ignoring her. Now she was nodding at her? Smiling at her? Staring at her with those green eyes? Saying "see you later"?

Their relationship was rocky at best, especially once Quinn was recruited to join the Cheerios. It was then that Rachel knew that the old Quinn was gone and a new one was born, a new scary, mean, bitchy, power-hungry, cheerleader who had a knack for throwing slushies at her face and calling her derogatory names in public. She was an entirely new being, unrecognizable.

Rachel flipped at the wall and continued her next lap. The thoughts she was trying to push away kept returning stronger each time. Were they friends now? She didn't know so she focused as hard as she could on the water that was rushing over her, her breathing, the burn she felt in her legs as she kicked on and on.

And then it was time to leave. One whistle was blown, signaling the end of lap swim. Rachel stopped at the wall and took a deep breath. Yanking off her goggles, the brunette hoisted herself out of the pool. With water was dripping off of her, Rachel hurried to her towel. In the corner of her eye, she spotted Quinn hopping down from the stand. She was heading straight for Rachel.

"Hey," Quinn said casually.

"Why hello, Quinn," Rachel said with a bit more confidence.

Words weren't so hard after all.

"I-," the blonde stuttered as her eyes raked over Rachel's soaking bare skin, "I see you chose the pool today over your elliptical."

"Yes, I did. It is quite refreshing."

Quinn nodded; Rachel would give anything to get inside of her head.

"Do you always work this early?" Rachel asked.

The blonde smirked.

"Yup. Everyday, 6am opening to 12pm. It's really nice because I get to teach lessons and I-," Quinn stopped immediately.

She watched as Rachel's eyes widened at the mention of lessons, how a shot of pain rushed past the brown swirls. One word and they were back to square one.

"Shit," she mumbled under her breath, "well I need to go take these lanes out but uh-Rachel?"

Rachel shook out of her thoughts. Just upon hearing Quinn mention the word lessons the brunette had been transported back to her childhood. And Quinn seemed to have noticed.

"Yes?" she managed to say.

Quinn's eyes locked onto hers. A chill ran down her back.

"Will you be here tomorrow?" she asked with a hint of vulnerability.

It was that hint that made Rachel beam. Maybe Quinn was different.

"Well as appealing as a post work out sweat and blisters sounds, I might just have to relocate my work outs to here instead," she said with a wide grin.

Quinn smiled back, "Well you are certainly much more fun to watch than that old woman bouncing up and down in the shallow end," she admitted, a blush instantly pervading her cheeks.

_Did Quinn just confess to watching me?_

"Uh-well have a good day, Rachel," Quinn stuttered before turning around to curse herself out and take the lanes out of the pool.

Rachel never smiled harder.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_July-August 2000_

_Summer into First Grade_

"_You say you wander your own land"_

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><p>As almost-first graders, Quinn and Rachel were bursting with life. Their imaginations ran wild while they swam from one end of the pool to another; except to them, they weren't swimming in a public pool. The girls were really in the midst of a vast ocean and as they kicked and pulled towards safety they dodged sharks and sea monsters along the way.<p>

"Come on, Quinn!" Rachel would call out, offering her a sturdy hand.

And without fail, Quinn would take hold of her as they drifted to shore. Together they envisioned sandy beaches and tall palm trees while swimming with the dolphins or trying to escape the mouth of sharp-toothed shark. One week they were pirates that had been knocked overboard by a large wave. The next they were somewhere in the Caribbean relaxing above a vast coral reef bursting with underwater life.

Rachel anticipated swimming lessons like a child anticipated Christmas morning. The night before she'd run to her closet and pick out her bathing suit; her internal conflict was always the same. Flowers or butterflies? Stripes or polka dots? Pink or...well she only owned pink bathing suits so color was never an issue, much to her fathers' dismay. Shopping for their daughter was always an adventure to find the next best pink item. Nevertheless, the day of her lesson would always drag on endlessly.

At six in the morning, the six year old bounded out of bed and down the stairs eagerly to see her fathers. Leroy would be at the counter cutting up fruit to go in their Greek yogurt while Hiram vigorously read the daily papers at the kitchen table. Despite his husband's opposition, Hiram had subscriptions to five daily newspapers in Lima and was constantly on his laptop surfing the top news sites like The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and USA today.

Rachel ran to her father, clad in her pink night gown, and wrapped her arms as far as she could around his body. Leroy chuckled and dropped the spoon to take his daughter up into his arms.

"Morning, sweet pea," he cooed into her ear and she giggled, his breath tickling the back of her neck.

"Morning, Dad."

She was put on her feet and she rounded the island counter to the table, peering over her father's shoulder. Quietly, she cupped her lips and whispered, "Good morning, Daddy."

The man jumped out of his chair causing Leroy to release a roar of laughter. Rachel squealed when Hiram whipped around with a faux angry look on his face. He proceeded to scoop her into a bear hug and pretend to chomp on her shoulders. When she was finally back on the ground, Rachel skipped to her seat at the kitchen table and gazed out the window. It was opened slightly so the yellow curtains waved in the fall breeze. It was Saturday and Leroy was due at the E.R. in half an hour. Hiram had the day off with his daughter, which he partly dreaded. The girl was incredibly impatient.

After breakfast, the tall man kissed his daughter on the cheek and grabbed his bag. It was cool for autumn and he knew soon enough he'd need a coat. Before he got to the door, Hiram pulled him in for a small and slow kiss. Rachel beamed.

"See you tonight, Dr. Berry," he said with a smile.

Leroy rolled his eyes.

"I'm not a doctor yet. I'm just an EMT."

That earned him another kiss.

"Just be home soon, okay? I don't want to be alone with this monster for too long," he said, gesturing towards the brunette sitting Indian style at the kitchen table with a bendy straw in her mouth sucking orange juice.

"Hey!" she protested.

"I gotta go!" Leroy laughed and kissed his husband's cheek. "See you crazies tonight!"

The kitchen door slammed shut. Hiram sighed contently. Entertaining a first grader like his daughter would certainly be a challenge, especially since he still had to finish his assignment by Monday.

"What do you wanna do today, Rach?" he prompted.

Rachel bit her lip, contemplating her options. Her eyes suddenly brightened.

"Can I go to swim lessons?"

Hiram laughed.

"Honey, your lesson isn't until four. We could color in that new book Dad got you? Or we could walk to the park later?"

Hiram knew she wouldn't be content until she was at that damn pool, but until then he'd have to distract her. And distract her he did until he was about to pass out.

"Daddy what time is it?" Rachel asked from her spot on the lawn in the backyard.

Looking up from his assignment, the redhead sighed and checked his watch while stretching on his lounge chair.

"2:15pm," he answered.

The lesson was at 4pm. Groaning, the young brunette rolled onto her back and stared at the sky, valiantly attempting to distract herself by counting the floating puffs of white. Her father chuckled at his daughter squirming in the grass.

An hour and a half later, with the radio at full volume, that same squirmy daughter sat in the backseat of her family's Volvo on their way to the community center.

"Hey, Daddy?" she asked while gazing out the window, humming under her breath.

"Mhm."

"Are we there yet?"

Hiram laughed while Leroy rolled his eyes. They had just picked him up from the E.R. and he was still scrubbed up and completely exhausted from his shift. Why did so many people hurt themselves on Saturdays?

"A few more minutes, darling," he replied as he held on tightly to his husband's hand across the console.

Rachel burst out of the vehicle the instant it slowed to a stop. With her bag slung over his shoulder, Leroy guided his family to the facility, grinning at his daughter's energy. She could be a handful sometimes but seeing her happy made his annoyances with her dissolve immediately.

Leroy left her to go to the locker room with Hiram. She grinned and ran inside to her locker, number four hundred and forty-four.

"Open it, Daddy!"

"Please?" he asked.

She looked to her feet.

"Please?"

With a quick turn of the lock, Hiram entered the combination, 10-22-10, for his daughter. Meticulously, Rachel put her belongings inside and glanced around the room. A mother was wrestling her son trying to get his trunks off while an elderly lady sat almost bare naked across from her bench. Quickly she tore her eyes away and rested them on her flip-flops. Then she grabbed her towel and bright pink goggles with her, leaving the disgusting room behind her as Hiram trailed after her.

As soon as she pushed open the door, a rush of warm air surrounded her small body. Her eyes took in the familiar facility, landing on a thin, seven year old blonde sitting on the bleachers staring right back. Leroy entered from the men's room and smiled at his husband. They watch as Rachel grinned widely and joined her friend on the cool metal seats.

"Hey!" she said happily, then turning towards the older blonde. "Hi, Mrs. Fabray!"

The woman smiled at the young girl.

"Hello, Rachel."

The class began and the girls accompanied each other to the edge of the pool, resuming their positions. Their instructor started them off, both with only one piece of flotation now, and guided them towards the deep end of the pool. When they reached the wall and slid up onto the tiles, Quinn turned to Rachel.

"Where are we today?"

Rachel bit her lip in thought. Last week they were exploring in Hawaii. She wracked her brain for a place for them to be.

"We're in Australia!" she exclaimed suddenly.

When the teacher wasn't looking, she slid down into the water.

"Rachel!" Quinn hissed.

With a deep breath she descended beneath the surface. Quinn watched in awe, praying that their instructor wouldn't catch them. Luckily, the brunette resurfaced with a big smile and hurled herself over the wall.

"Well?" Quinn asked, her mind overflowing with curiosity.

"The Great Terrier Reef!" she exclaimed and pointed to the bottom, "Don't you see it? There are all of these flowers! Look over there! There's an otopus staring up at us!"

Quinn giggled uncontrollably and gazed down into the depths of the pool. She felt silly but decided to pretend.

"Yeah! And look over there, Rach," she gasped, "There's a some little fishies swimming near our feet. Ah they're tickling me!" she screeched.

Rachel burst into laughter as they dodged the imaginary fish darting between their legs. They saw all sorts of creatures in that small pool.

After a while, Quinn stopped pretending. She saw the rainbow of fish swimming around them through the sea flowers beneath her. Her mouth opened in awe. As she turned to Rachel, who was equally enamored, the instructor snapped them out of their world.

"Alright, now who would like to do some jumps?" she asked and almost every child raised their hand eagerly.

All but Quinn. Rachel frowned.

"Quinn, don't you wanna jump with me?" she asked.

Her hazel eyes avoided Rachel's as she played with her small fingers.

"I don't like this part," the anxious blonde mumbled.

As the class got out of the pool and formed a line behind some boy named Johnny, Rachel pulled Quinn to the back of the line.

"Quinn?"

Quinn was silent.

"Why don't you wanna jump?"

The line moved forward.

"I- what if I fall in? Or Max pushes me?"

Rachel smiled as they moved closer to the front.

"That's easy. If you fall in I'll catch you because I'm going before you anyways. And if Max pushes you in I'll tell his Mommy about it. He'll probably cry."

Quinn giggled and nodded. She watched nervously as Rachel curled her toes over the edge, her turn now approaching.

"1... 2... 3!" the instructor counted.

The brunette jumped out as far as she could and plunged into the water. Within seconds she rose to the surface with a grin. She saw the look on Quinn's face. Without talking, Rachel held her hand out and pointed to Max and pretended to cry. The blonde giggled.

"Do you want to hold my hand?" the instructor asked.

Quinn nodded and took it gratefully.

"1... 2... 3!"

With that, she was in the water. It was a clean jump and she instantly popped her head out to find Rachel grinning and clapping while still floating.

"Yay Quinn!" she cheered.

Quinn beamed and grabbed her personal cheerleader's hand as they swam to the ladder. From then on, as long as Rachel was there, jumping was never a problem for Quinn.

And then, just as soon as the class started, it was over and the instructor was high-fiving the class and telling them to get their towels. Rachel frowned as she lifted herself out of the pool. The end of the lesson always was the worst.

Hand in hand, the duo walked over to their proud parents. Quinn was giddy with her success.

"Mamma! I jumped into the pool! I jumped!" she cried.

Judy pulled her into a wet hug and kissed the top of her messy hair.

"I'm so proud of my Quinnie."

The grin that graced Quinn's face was unlike anything Rachel had ever seen before. Leroy wrapped a pink towel around her small body and pulled her close.

"We're proud of you too, sweet pea."

"I know, Dad."

Rachel was proud of her friend too. Quinn had conquered her fear of jumping and swam over the reef to shore safely twice. It was quite a feat for Quinn. Rachel looked over to Quinn who was currently putting away her flotation.

"Honey, are you coming?" Hiram asked curiously.

"We have to wait for Quinn, Daddy!" she remarked incredulously.

The man chuckled and a few minutes later he was out in the lobby with his husband while his daughter got cleaned up in the locker room with Mrs. Fabray and Quinn. Rachel darted into the locker room towards her locker. Trailing after the hyper brunette, Quinn opened the locker adjacent to Rachel's. Judy supervised as they grabbed their clothing and ran to the changing stalls.

Rachel slid carefully into the small stall and pulled the curtain shut. When she looked down she could see Quinn's small feet underneath the wall dividing them. As she shrugged and wiggled out of her wet suit, Quinn peered underneath the wall and spotted those pink flip-flops. She grinned.

"Pssssst," she whispered, causing the brunette to stop midway through putting her shorts back on.

"Quinn?" she asked hesitantly.

Quinn giggled.

"What is it?"

The blonde squatted down and tickled Rachel's tiny feet lightly before popping right back up into a standing position.

"I like your flippy floppies."

Rachel beamed, laughing at the compliment. Once changed, the girls skipped out of the room past the incoming children and their mothers. Hiram and Leroy greeted them with wide smiles.

"Thank you so much, Judy," Leroy said to the tall blonde. "It can be a bit hard to help Rachel when we're not really allowed in the locker room."

Mrs. Fabray smiled, "It's my pleasure! She is a delight to have. Such a lively girl. Quinn certainly likes her company."

Hiram nodded as he watched the girls chase each other down the hallway to the gym. They plastered their faces to the glass window and watched the adults running on the treadmill with fascination. He couldn't help but grin at their naiveté.

"Girls," he called, causing the two to turn their heads, "time to go now!"

Quinn and Rachel ran back to their parents and joined them up the stairs. They reached the parking lot. Now the girls really had to say goodbye. Rachel looked down at the pavement. It would be a week until they would see each other again.

"Bye bye, Rachel," Quinn said softly.

Rachel stood still for a moment while their parents waiting in anticipation. She sighed.

"Bye bye, Quinn," Rachel murmured as the two embraced.

Rachel turned on her heel towards the car, pink bag slung over her shoulder and a frown plastered onto her face.

And Quinn simply watched, staring at the pink plastic shoes flip and flop all the way to the Volvo.

"Come now, Quinnie. Let's go home so we can tell Daddy all about your big jump!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! Thank you all so much for story alerting, favoriting and reviewing! I love hearing from you guys, and I want to know what you all think so make sure to review :D As always thank you to Tori and Charlie. They are seriously amazing, and this story would not be here if it wre not for them. Happy reading!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

July 17th, 2010

Summer into Junior Year

"_You'll knock on my door and up we'll go"_

* * *

><p>"She was there <em>again<em>?" a surprised Santana Lopez exclaimed from the floor of Quinn's bedroom.

Quinn sighed. "Yes, Santana, she was there again."

A devilish grin spread across her best friend's face as she twirled her finger through her dark brown hair, her bottom lip in between her teeth.

"Just say it," the blonde huffed, defeated and without patience for Santana's quirks.

"I told you so! It was so not a fluke!" she declared triumphantly.

Quinn rolled her eyes and returned her focus back to the magazine lying on her bed. It was true though, she conceded. Santana had told her so. After school came to a close, the pair had set off on finding something to do since they wouldn't be attending Sue Sylvester's hellish cheerleading practices this summer. The training was terminated due to the cancellation of the team's funds for that year. Coach Sylvester had been outraged of course, but the girls decided to simply train on their own and take advantage of the break.

When the beastly blonde coach had approached Quinn on the last day of classes with an offer to return to the squad as captain, no tryouts necessary, Quinn had hesitated. Did she want to be head cheerleader again? Looking back on all of the rainy days spent running around the track, days spent ordering slushies on innocent students, walking down the hallways being both glared at and stared at with admiration and long weekends being berated by Coach Sylvester's infinite arsenal of insults, Quinn made her decision.

"No," she had said flatly.

Coach Sylvester blinked.

"No?"

The blonde smiled and began her ultimatum. "I don't want to be Head Cheerio. I want back on your squad because I love to cheer and let's face it: the team needs me. If you want me back on this team, give Santana the spot of Head Cheerio. She's been training long and hard for this and is a great leader. The girls all listened to her a hell of a lot more than me this year. Got it?"

Sue smiled somewhat proudly, nodding in agreement.

"You know, Q, you remind me of a-,"

"Yeah, yeah, I remind you of you. I got it. Thing is, Coach, I'm nothing like you anymore," she retorted and was out the door a second later, her vintage dress swishing faithfully after her.

It was decided that Santana would be head cheerleader and Quinn would be her right hand woman. That day, when Quinn was cleaning out her locker, dumping book after book into her book bag, Santana stormed down the halls and stopped short at her best friend.

"What did you do?" she asked loudly, creating somewhat of a scene.

Quinn didn't flinch.

"Whatchya talkin' bout, S?" she asked innocently.

"Can you explain to me why Coach just called me into her office to tell me that I am going to be Head Cheerio next year and not you? She's basically in love with you, Q."

The blonde smiled, pretending to think a bit but not acting shocked.

"I thought it was obvious," she replied with confidence. "You're better than me."

With that, the blonde hurled her heavy bag onto her shoulder and headed for the parking lot. Santana stood stunned for a good three minutes with a complete look of shock plastered on her face before she was able to react to her surroundings once again, shaking herself out of her trance.

Now that they were freed from torturous practices, the girls ran every day together and hung out basically twenty-four hours a day, mainly because their third musketeer was off with her parents in Cleveland for the entire summer. Midnight runs and morning coffee stops had become routine for the pair. Quinn had missed her best friend, knowing how much she had damaged their friendship; now she was doing whatever she could do to repair it.

Santana knew everything there was to know about Quinn. She knew things about Quinn that even Quinn didn't know about herself. They both knew enough to blackmail each other into oblivion.

It was Santana who had suggested that Quinn become a lifeguard for one reason or another.

"You're a kick ass swimmer, Q!"

"San, I haven't swam in forever. Besides, why would I want to lifeguard anyway?"

Santana sighed, moving closer to her best friend.

"Listen up, Q," she started slowly, "what do you think of when you think of the pool?"

The blonde's eyes brightened at first, her memories rewinding to her childhood swimming lessons with Rachel. Upon reliving her mistakes, her expression immediately darkened.

"I don't know," she mumbled.

Santana scoffed. "Oh shut up. You think of Rachel, right?"

Reluctantly, Quinn nodded and gazed out of her window. Santana, Brittany,and Rachel, of course, where the only three people who knew about their friendship, not counting their parents. It was perhaps her greatest secret and her greatest regret.

"What's your point?" she asked bitterly.

There was that awful grin again.

"My point is that if you were to lifeguard at that little pool of yours then maybe Rachel would go for a swim and you could stare at her leprechaun body all day long."

Quinn glared her. Rachel was not a leprechaun and her body was far from leprechaun-like. Santana's idea was ridiculous.

"Santana, the odds of Rachel being at the pool are zero. She runs on her elliptical, first of all, so she'd have no need to go to the pool. Secondly, her body is nothing like a leprechaun so wipe that smirk off of your face before I slap it off for you. And finally what makes you so sure that she'd even be there?"

Santana grinned at the fuming blonde. God, could she be even more obvious?

"Hm... well I am pretty sure your little troll has Facebook. And I'm pretty sure that you have a Facebook. And I'm almost 100% positive that if you were to, I don't know, post a status about being at the pool lifeguarding she'd show up."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Wanna know why? I'm not going to **lure** Rachel to the pool like some pedophile or creepy stalker. Plus, Rachel barely uses her Facebook so she wouldn't even see it. I mean, I'll do it for the money, but there is no way I'm posting about it to my Facebook. That's just pathetic. She's just not gunna come. It's never gunna happen."

Santana grinned triumphantly, "Looks like you just convinced yourself to do something even though it's 'never going to happen.' That was easier than I thought."

Quinn scowled. "It's never going to happen."

"Mhmm," the brunette said with a smirk, "we'll see about that."

Three weeks later Santana was proven right. Quinn, though annoyed at Santana's attitude, was more than happily surprised. She had chosen the opening lap swim and lesson shift for a reason. If Rachel were to ever consider coming, it would be at the earliest possible time. She was up at 6am most days anyway. So, Quinn spent three weeks getting up at five in the morning in the faint hope that Rachel would be at the pool. Day after day her hope waned until it no longer existed.

Until yesterday. Everything seemed normal. Her alarm woke her up with a strident and utterly annoying beeping sound. She threw on her uniform, hung her whistle around her neck, slung her bag over her shoulder and quietly went down the stairs past her mother's room and into the kitchen. After grabbing her breakfast she began her brisk walk to the pool.

She met her friend Zach with a smile before tugging in the lane lines and arranging the lesson sheets on the side. Then the first swimmers rolled in and she took her place up on the stand. That's when the boredom kicked in. After fifteen minutes of watching three people swim back and forth Quinn felt her tiredness grow as her eyelids began to close.

Slapping herself, the blonde snapped up and gazed into the distance, then to the clock.

_Really? It's only been fifteen minutes?_

She sighed and shifted her weight in the chair, trying to shake out the bathing suit riding up her butt. Zach was drifting out of consciousness on the other end of the pool.

Then the door swung open. Quinn blinked a few times. She must have fallen asleep on the stand again. After a few seconds of staring, Quinn realized that she was one-hundred percent awake.

Rachel Berry, in a tight pink bathing suit, was standing by the door staring back at her. Her heart began to pound. Santana was right? How the hell was Santana right? Quickly she composed herself and simply gazed softly at the nervous brunette who stumbled down the ramp.

Quinn observed as Rachel paused, looked down at herself, and then sighed with relief. It was incredibly endearing. After throwing her towel down, Rachel sauntered over to the lane nearest Quinn and slid in.

How was this happening? For the next hour, Quinn only watched one swimmer. She watched the water hug around Rachel's petite frame. She watched the little waves that trailed after her kicking toes. She watched as Rachel flipped at the wall, her feet peeping out and caressing the wall for a millisecond, if that, and then returning back beneath the surface.

It was hypnotizing. Suddenly, time moved much faster and before she knew it Quinn saw that an hour had passed and Rachel had finally stopped to take a break. Her chest heaved in and out, her breasts rising and fall-

_God, I am such a pervert._

Rachel glanced up towards the clock and then quickly returned to swimming, this time with much more vigor and speed. Quinn counted her strokes and breaths, and laps. And then the brunette stopped for a little bit before realizing that lap swim was over.

Zach hopped down and Quinn followed suit. She had to go talk to her. It might be her only opportunity to see her all summer. An opportunity like this was miraculous, once in a blue moon. She ditched Zach and walked towards Rachel. With a deep breath, Quinn prayed she didn't look as nervous as she felt and decided to initiate a conversation.

"Hey," she greeted as nicely as possible, not wanting to scare away her ex-nemesis.

Brown eyes widened at her acknowledgment. Quinn watched as Rachel searched for the right words.

"Uh...good morning, Quinn."

Was she nervous too? Before she could stop it, a smirk graced her face.

_Be cool, Fabray. _

"Come here often?"

She hoped that didn't seem as cheesy as it sounded. Rachel seemed to like it, so she let out a breath.

"First time," Rachel began, "I mean I am more of an elliptical girl myself because of the instant gratification of the post-workout sweat but I decided it was time for a change in my aerobic workout and the pool seemed like an ideal place to get that. Plus swimming leaves no room for those dreadful blisters I have from running."

Classic Berry, rambling on and on about God knows what. Quinn bit back a grin. She found her little rambles completely adorable.

"Well, I need to go take the lanes out but there's a gym right next to the locker room if you are in need of a... how did you put it? A post-workout sweat?" she teased lightly, hoping it wouldn't offend Rachel.

Quinn was on very, very thin ice. One wrong move and she could ruin a possible truce, maybe even a friendship. Quinn chose her words very carefully knowing how much she had hurt the brunette, how much she _could_ hurt the brunette. Her torturous acts were far more than skin-deep, and she hated herself.

Was Rachel blushing? Relief poured through her body.

And then she was leaving.

_She's leaving?_

Quinn wanted to talk to her more but she settled for maybe a next time.

"See you around, Rachel."

Heart in her throat, she walked quickly back to Zach who gave her a puzzled look.

"Who was that?"

"A girl," she answered in a daze.

_A beautiful, incredible girl._

After her shift, Quinn went home and showered. She proceeded to spend her afternoon reading outside while her mother gardened. Rachel was on her mind. Would she be there tomorrow? Would they ever talk again?

Her questions were answered the next morning when Rachel pushed open the door and met Quinn's eyes once again. Quinn was more nervous for some reason but luckily she had managed not to make a fool out of herself. When the brunette was gone she was left feeling empty once more. Their conversations just didn't seem long enough but she was still thankful that she had gotten to see Rachel.

"So you gunna talk to her again?"

"Huh?" Quinn asked before realizing that Santana's "I told you so" speech was over. "Uh I don't know. We didn't really uhm discuss that. It's not like we had a lot of time, you know?"

Santana nodded before looking over to her clock. It was almost midnight. That's when an idea struck her, the evil grin once again pervading her cheeks.

"Seriously, that smile is so creepy," Quinn scolded as her eyes drifted back to her magazine.

"Whatever you love it, Fabray," Santana retorted before standing up and walking over to the closet.

"What are you doing?"

"Don't worry about it," she heard before a pair of flip flops were tossed at her head.

She grunted as she dodged them swiftly. "What the hell?"

Santana grabbed her hand and pulled her off of the bed.

"You're going to see Rachel!" she announced, dragging her downstairs.

"But it's midnight! She's probably in bed by now! She needs a full night's rest! There's no way-,"

"Jesus, Q, shut up!" Santana yelled.

They had reached the kitchen when they finally stopped. Santana rested her hands onto Quinn's shoulders and looked straight into her eyes.

"Hear me out, okay? You need to do this. I don't want my best friend to have any more regrets. That's what I'm here for, to make sure you don't mess things up. What's the worst that could happen, huh? She's not there? She's asleep? She's there and you talk? All I know is... is that you can't waste your time being afraid of making stupid ass excuses, okay? Don't be an idiot, Q."

Quinn stared into her friend's eyes. She saw the pain of the girl's past. It was no secret that Santana had a lot of experience in the regret department. So Quinn nodded and squeezed her shoulder before walking out the back door towards Rachel's house.

_I'm actually going through with this. _

She knew the route by heart. She'd walked it many times. Within a few minutes she was standing at the start of the walkway. For a moment she forgot to breathe. Adrenaline was pumping through her. This was the biggest risk she'd taken in a while.

Her feet took her to the doorway. Her finger rang the bell. And then she waited, waited for her prayers to be answered or for her fears to come true.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

_1999-2003_

_Kindergarten - Fourth grade_

"_I don't feel the same"_

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><p>At first, school excited Rachel. Meeting new kids and learning new things, playing on the playground and making friends seemed all fine and dandy. The idea of going into a classroom with other children and having a wise teacher who would teach her all she would ever want and need to know in her life was very appealing on paper. Except life wasn't on paper. Life was life. Perfect didn't exist anywhere except on paper.<p>

Kindergarten was the start of a long twelve years of ridicule and bliss. Her first year of school at age five was a breeze. On her first day, Hiram and Leroy nervously walked her into the classroom. Rachel was wearing a purple jumper with white sneakers and white socks. The look was finished off with a confident smile. Her hair was down with a butterfly clip pulling part of it to the side. Her eyes were wide with curiosity as they entered the room. The family was greeted by a young woman of about twenty with bright accepting eyes and an even brighter smile. The woman wore a neat blouse and pencil skirt, brown hair falling an inch or two past her shoulders.

"Welcome to kindergarten!" she announced as she shook Rachel's and her fathers' hands, "I'm Mrs. Lesh."

Rachel beamed. Surveying the classroom, the brunette decided to walk over to the two easels at the far end of the room to join the small girl painting what was supposed to be a flower. There was paint smeared on the blank piece of white paper, brushes scattered in the shelf beneath it. The girl looked up from her work, green paint dripping onto the floor from her vertically held paint brush.

"Hi! I'm Rachel, Rachel Berry!"

The young Asian girl smiled shyly, placing her brush down tentatively.

"I'm Tina," she replied simply.

"Can I paint with you?" Rachel asked cheerfully.

Tina nodded and the two began their masterpieces while both of their parents watched in awe. Hiram and Leroy knew their daughter would be more than fine in school but seeing her interact with her first friend solidified their prediction.

"Your flower is very pretty," Rachel complimented, earning her a smile.

"Thanks," Tina responded softly, "What are you going to paint?"

"Hm," Rachel's lip slid between her teeth, "I'm going to paint a big yellow star."

Her friend nodded in agreement. They both got to work on their paintings, neither realizing that years later in high school they'd be reunited by a small club started by a hopeful and naïve Spanish teacher. For now they simply painted and giggled, got paint all over themselves and concentrated hard on the task at hand.

She and Tina remained friends for the year and for the years to come. They sat at lunch together and played hopscotch at recess on the playground. They stayed this way until junior high school when Rachel became a "freak" and people, including Tina, began to ignore her like the plague. Until then, Tina was her very best friend.

The school year passed and Rachel survived relatively unscathed. Only on two occasions had a few boys made fun of her but they were harmless. Rachel wasn't alone though. She had Tina who didn't really say much but was good company. The chatty brunette made up for Tina's lack of conversation plenty. It was better than being alone.

As fate would have it, Quinn was in a different class every year of elementary school so the two didn't see each other very much. Save for recess, Quinn and Rachel only really saw each other at the pool. On the playground, Rachel loved playing hopscotch with Tina. As she jumped from box to box, her eyes would wander to Quinn who always without fail would be on the swings with the girls from her class, legs dangling from the seat. Some days they would be laughing. Other times they would just push each other on the swings. One day they played this fortune telling game, the one with the paper and you chose a color and a number and so forth. Quinn was untouchable, even then. Always looking her best, the blonde was normally wearing a neatly ironed dress and a matching bow with clean shoes on her feet. She was the picture perfect daughter from a picture perfect family even at the ripe age of nine.

"Who's that?" Tina asked one day curiously, following Rachel's eyes to the blonde.

On this day, in the fourth grade, Quinn and another boy were sitting underneath the tree near the swing set. He was wearing a striped blue shirt and khaki shorts with his Nike sneakers. Her baby blue dress fell at her knees as she sat Indian style up next to him, their legs just barely touching. Rachel watched carefully, balanced on one leg frozen in place. She could only stare. Why didn't Quinn ask her to sit underneath the tree near the swing set during recess? Why didn't they get to sit legs just barely touching Indian style? A feeling she would learn to call jealousy boiled in the pit of her stomach; it was tinted with sadness.

Rachel replied softly, almost with a shadow of doubt, "That's my friend, Quinn."

"But you don't talk to her," Tina pointed out.

"We take swimming lessons together," Rachel snapped.

"Well, if she's your friend then why don't you go ask her to come play hoppyscotch with us?"

Good question, she thought. For some reason, she could never muster enough confidence to even talk to Quinn in school let alone to invite her over to play hopscotch. Whenever she gazed across the playground and saw Quinn with her school friends, she felt something she had never felt before. It wasn't that she was mad. She wasn't sad either. Inside it felt like she was just longing to be over there with Quinn. She wanted to belong again. And if it were anybody else Rachel would just stroll over there and throw herself into their conversation effortlessly; yet something held her back.

"She looks really busy," she lied, hopping to the next box, eyes still on Quinn. "Maybe tomorrow, Tina."

It was as if there was an invisible barrier between them that only ever broke when they were at swim lessons. At the pool, nothing had changed. Quinn still smiled when she saw Rachel skip down the ramp with her flip flops and fathers trailing behind. Quinn still held onto her hand if she felt herself slipping. Quinn still giggled at Rachel's tremendous stories of where they were swimming that week. Quinn was still Quinn. Judy would greet the men with a wide smile and follow them outside to talk over coffee while their daughters swam.

At the pool, Rachel felt happy. She was with Quinn. School didn't matter anymore. Quinn wasn't untouchable anymore. Everything was right in the world, until their thirty-five minutes were up and it was time to leave.

Rachel often wondered why it was so different, but her young mind couldn't dwell on it for too long. It wasn't until she became older that she really began to question the reasons behind Quinn's change in behavior.

Fourth grade was the first time Quinn had sought after Rachel in school. The school day was over and children were running to and from the playground to their parents or to their buses. She watched Tina wave goodbye from her father's car. Rachel was swinging lightly on the swing set, looking down the road trying to spy her Daddy's Volvo.

She didn't even hear Quinn sit down until she spoke.

"Hey," she said softy, and Rachel recognized her voice immediately.

Rachel tore her gaze away from the road and immediately looked at Quinn. Her eyes were shining in the afternoon light, the wind gently tussling her blonde locks.

"Hi, Quinn," Rachel replied.

Quinn began to swing back and forth but never too high. There was a sudden silence that overcame them for a moment. Rachel heard the sounds of other kids playing and parents tugging them into their cars. She heard the sounds of car doors opening and closing mesh with the squeak of the metal swing set she and Quinn were occupying. She sighed.

Suddenly the swinging stopped, and in the corner of her eyes she saw Quinn staring at her. As she came to a slow, the blonde took a deep breath.

"Rachel?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"I-uhm, I like your dress," Quinn complimented shyly.

The brunette blushed with a grateful smile. This was the Quinn she knew.

"Thank you," she replied, "I can't wait for swim lessons tomorrow."

Quinn nodded, eyes wandering to the road with slight worry.

"Are you okay, Quinnie?" she asked quietly.

Hazel eyes snapped back to Rachel. A fake smile plastered to her face. She could already do that at age nine. She could already pretend that she was okay when she really wasn't. She was only nine years old and she could lie like a rug.

"Yes."

Rachel shook her head. "No you're not. You looked scared."

"I'm just waiting for my Daddy."

Quinn's father was quite an elusive figure for the brunette. Over the course of four years the man never attended a single swim lesson. She had never even seen the man nor did Quinn ever mention him. Rachel never seemed to notice this until now. Who was Quinn's Daddy? Was he as nice as her dads were?

As a black Mercedes pulled up to the school and a window rolled down, Rachel was about to have her questions answered.

"Quinn Fabray, get in the car," he yelled.

His face was cleanly shaved and his hair was freshly jelled back. He wore a collared shirt with a tie and a suit jacket. Sunglasses sat atop his face so Rachel couldn't see his eyes. She felt Quinn stiffen slightly.

Peering at her father, her eyes mad with indecision, Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand and squeezed it.

"See you tomorrow, Rachel."

With that the girl was running off with her pink backpack on her back towards her father who was eyeing Rachel suspiciously. A chill ran down her back. He definitely was not as nice as her fathers were. Her eyes dropped down to her tingling hand. She had never felt Quinn's hand outside of the water. It was soft.

Quinn hopped into the back seat, throwing her backpack next to her and strapping on her seat belt. She could feel her father's penetrating eyes but ignored them as best as she could. The car began to move and she looked out the window to Rachel who was staring at their car with deep confusion written all over her face. A flash of guilt rushed through Quinn. She wished she could explain it to her, even though she herself couldn't explain it.s

"How was school today, Quinnie?" her father asked, eyes focused on the road ahead.

"It was good, Daddy. We learned about the tropical rainforest," Quinn said nervously, her bare legs resting against the cool leather seat.

He smiled that fake Fabray smile, eyeing his daughter through his mirror. Quinn wasn't afraid of her father by any stretch. She loved him like all daughters should love their fathers. He tucked her in every night with a kiss. He was a good man who cared so much about his baby girl. He didn't want anything or anyone to hurt her. Quinn didn't fear her father; she was simply afraid of losing Rachel. She fidgeted in her seat.

"So, who was that girl you were talking to on the swings, Quinnie?" he asked.

The blonde froze. "A girl," she started but decided not to finish the sentence.

"Do you know her?"

_Yes._

"No."

They pulled into the driveway. As soon as the vehicle came to a halt, Quinn grabbed her backpack and bolted into the house, leaving her father in the dust. The instant she entered the kitchen, her mother scooped her up, gave her a kiss, and asked her how her day was.

"Not good, Mamma," she replied into her hair, feeling a rush of safety and comfort in the arms of her mother as she felt her squeeze her tighter.

"Why was it not good, honey?"

Russell watched his wife and child as he poured himself a beer. As he went into the family room, he released a heavy sigh, wishing that his daughter would let him hold her like that, like he mattered. He felt like he was losing his Quinn. It was like holding a handful of sand, parts of her just slipping right out of his grasp. He took a large swig of his beer and swallowed down his pain.

"Mamma," she whispered in a sad voice.

"Yes, love?"

"I don't want Rachel to be a secret anymore."

Judy's heart wrenched. "Why, baby?"

"Because I want Daddy to meet her. And I want to tell Daddy about her. I wanna have a play date with her. And I don't want to not see her at school. And I don't want to lie to Daddy anymore. I just don't know why it's so hard," she choked on her sudden sobs.

In that moment, Judy hated herself. She hated herself for making her daughter lie and keep a secret that really never should have been a secret at all. She hated herself for causing her daughter pain. Rachel was just her friend. She hated herself for being such a coward. But she couldn't admit that to her daughter. So Judy smiled sadly as she placed her daughter onto a stool in the kitchen, putting on as brave a face as she could. She had to make this better somehow.

"I don't know about telling Daddy yet, but I'm sure we can arrange a play date. Would you like that?"

When Quinn beamed with delight and jumped back into her mother's arms with a squeal, Judy knew she was getting herself into a tight situation. But she wanted her daughter to be happy, and she didn't care what she had to do to keep her that way. Russell be damned, her Quinnie was going to have a play date with Rachel Berry.


	7. Chapter 7

**This is for my big sister Caitlin. I know it's not Monday or Wednesday or Friday, but I know that she might need this right now. I left a bit of an evil cliff hanger so happy Saturday and happy reading! Please, please review :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

_July 17th, 2010_

_Summer into Junior Year_

"_I felt the earth beneath my feet"_

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><p>Rachel lay on the living room floor, head buzzing with thoughts. It had only been a day since she went to lap swimming for the second time but it seemed like it happened three minutes ago. The clock read 11:45pm; had it really happened yesterday? She just couldn't stop thinking about it. Normally she'd go to her parents for a distraction, but, unfortunately, her goofy fathers were not available. Hiram took his husband on a little getaway because his work was becoming very strenuous. The man needed a good break.<p>

Yesterday's swim was a disaster, well somewhat of a disaster. Aside from her embarrassing confession of having blisters and liking sweat, she had spoken to Quinn. After the first years of reluctantly ignoring her, Quinn's behavior turned into pure torture. As bullying and complete indifference became the norm between the two girls, Rachel had lost hope for her and Quinn. Now it suddenly seemed as if Quinn might actually enjoy her presence.

"Come here often?"

That voice still echoed in her head. That smirk and that tight red suit that just hugged her body with ease were engrained in her mind. She groaned with frustration and rolled onto her stomach as she picked up her Barbra Streisand biography and tried to read. The attempt was futile, as she literally could not go one word without her thoughts straying back to Quinn.

Today the blonde had seemed a little, dare she say it, nervous to see her. Her fathers had roped Rachel into going again. For a second there it seemed like Quinn was actually leering, but she probably just imagined that. Then she had mentioned swimming lessons. Rachel couldn't help the sharp ting of pain that shot through her, how those memories just came rushing back as if someone had lifted up the dam preventing them from flowing freely in her mind. Judging by Quinn's reaction, Rachel had looked upset, so the brunette had quickly tried to compose herself; it was too late, though. Quinn already knew how her words had affected Rachel.

What came out of Quinn's mouth next was what had truly caught her off guard.

"Will you be here tomorrow?"

Her voice was so vulnerable, so insecure. The worry was etched onto her beautiful face and it lifted Rachel's heart. It was almost as if Quinn wanted her to come again, like she had enjoyed their two short-but-sweet conversations. She just couldn't help smiling at that. To top off the day, the blonde proceeded to admit that instead of the old women in the pool, she watched Rachel. Rachel was flattered to say the least. Quinn Fabray was watching _her_ as she swam. It was all too good to be true. Rachel's mind swam around in the goodness of the day until the door bell interrupted her thoughts.

Rachel's head whipped up from page three of her book, and she stared at the door. Her heart began to race. It was almost midnight. Her eyes darted to the clock. 11:56pm. Who was knocking on her door at 11:56pm? Was she being robbed? God, she was being robbed! They obviously knew her fathers weren't home and planned to come when she was alone and vulnerable and alone! Did she mention that she was alone?

Frantically she got into a crouch and approached the door slowly. As carefully and discreetly as possible, she grabbed an umbrella from the coat closet and lifted herself up onto her tiptoes to reach the peephole. She tightened her grip on the mahogany handle, knuckles whitening, as she prepared for her strike.

Her eyes met a tall figure wearing tight dark blue skinny jeans and a light yellow sweater with matching flip flops on her feet.

_Quinn._

A sigh of relief escaped her lips. Slipping the makeshift weapon back into the closet, Rachel unlocked the door and swung it open with a surprised smile.

"Quinn?" she asked, trying to contain her excitement.

Rachel drank the girl in. Her hair was down to her shoulders naturally, a welcome change to her endless tight ponytail days of cheerleading. No make-up tainted her already naturally glowing face, and her slim figure left Rachel breathless.

Quinn fidgeted with the hem of her sweater before looking up nervously. Wait, Rachel thought. Was Quinn... nervous? She blinked to make sure she wasn't imagining it. The Quinn she had come to observe over the past few years was anything but timid. She was powerful and confident and strong. This Quinn looked anxious. Something about it was unsettling but incredibly endearing.

"Hey," she breathed, eyes finding Rachel's wide brown ones, "I hope I didn't scare you or anything. Is this too late? It's probably too late."

Rachel giggled softly as she opened her door wider.

"While I may or may not have taken out an umbrella for protection had you been a robber, it is never too late, Quinn," she said, her smile faltering when she realized what she had just said.

Quinn's breath caught in her throat and she found an interesting spot on the doorframe to inspect, still not stepping inside.

"Uhm," Rachel stuttered uneasily not sure what to do. "Would you like to come inside?"

The blonde looked over her shoulder before returning her attention back to Rachel. Eyebrow quirked upwards, Rachel watched curiously as Quinn tried to figure out what to say despite the very easy question she had asked.

"No, actually," she began, hands slipping into her front pockets. "I was wondering if you'd maybe want to take a walk with me? It's alright if you're busy or it's too dark or something..."

Rachel tried to act cool about this whole situation, but who was she kidding. What in the world was Quinn Fabray doing at her door at 11:56pm asking to go for a walk with her? As she contemplated her options, those two big eyes distracted her once again. God, why couldn't she think straight with this girl?

"Now?" she asked shyly.

Quinn smiled tucking a stray hair behind her ear. "Yeah, now, if it's alright with your parents."

"Oh, my dads are on a bit of a getaway so that will not be a problem."

What did she have to lose? She could walk around with Quinn and talk and just _be_ for once. Rachel would be lying if she said she didn't miss those simple days of pirates and coral reefs and pink flip flops. A swarm of butterflies invaded her stomach. How could she say no?

"Is it chilly out?" she asked.

Quinn stepped back outside and closed her eyes with a small smile. Then she looked at Rachel's current ensemble. A black hoodie sweatshirt hung over her thin frame while a short pair of plaid pink boxers hugged her legs. She bore a pair of flip flops on her small feet.

"You'll be fine," Quinn decided confidently.

With that, Rachel shut and locked the door, cell phone tucked in the inside pocket of her sweatshirt, and the two were off. It was a blissfully warm night with fireflies buzzing about. When she looked up, Rachel saw a clear dark sky brightened by a few stars. She wondered if there was a way to land on a star. What would it be like to be a real star? It probably would be warm up there. She smiled to herself as she thought of all of the ways she could get up there. It was like she was five again.

Quinn just stared at Rachel, as she stared at the sky, struck by how enamored she was by a simple thing like the sky. As the girl's eyes widened in thought, Quinn beamed at her childlike wonder. Suddenly, Rachel, as if able to feel her stare, turned her head to Quinn.

"Hey," Rachel whispered, intoxicated by the silence.

"Hey yourself."

A breeze tickled her neck. Her stomach twisted into knots. What was going on? Why was she here? What changed? Several similar questions swirled around inside of her, had been swirling since she was eleven and sitting alone on the bleachers, but up until this night she had not dared to voice them. For fear of scaring the girl away or upsetting her, Rachel had swallowed her confusion and tried to focus on herself, but something about the way Quinn's eyes were sparkling beneath the streetlamp, the way she stared at her with such earnestness and honesty, made her reconsider.

"We really need to talk," her eyes pulled out of the gaze nervously.

She heard Quinn take a deep breath.

"Sure. What do you want to talk about?"

Here was the hard part. Which question should she ask?

"I kind of have a few questions, actually," Rachel remarked with a blush.

Quinn nodded somewhat solemnly. Her eyes darkened a bit.

"I bet you do," she sighed. "Let me guess. You want to know why I decided to walk with you tonight, yes?"

Rachel shook her head yes. That one stumped her completely.

"Then let's start there," Quinn began, "I didn't actually think I would go through with this. Yesterday morning at the pool caught me totally off guard. I thought you stopped going to the pool so I was surprised to see you there. Pleasantly surprised but still, I didn't expect you to be there."

"You can say that again," Rachel muttered, though Quinn heard her perfectly.

A car whizzed by them with bright lights and a rush of wind. Rachel shivered.

"And as to why I'm here... I just... I missed swim lessons with you," she lied.

"So let me get this straight," Rachel questioned with one eyebrow raised. You wanted to walk with me... because you missed swim lessons? I don't buy it."

Quinn smirked. "I figured that you wouldn't. Nothing gets by Rachel Berry, right? Is it a good enough reason if I said I wanted to talk to you?"

Rachel wanted to attack the girl and question her like a police interviewed a suspect, but she needed to keep in control. She shrugged.

"I guess so," she said as nonchalantly as possible.

Quinn saw right through it.

"Are you playing games with me, Berry?" the blonde teased.

Rachel laughed and gazed at the houses they passed as they continued down the sidewalk. Though she was trying to play it cool and not freak out, it wasn't a good enough reason. She wanted to know the truth. After a quick beat, Rachel decided to just be honest.

"It's not good enough," she almost whispered. "Six years of nothing and suddenly you're here acting like nothing happened. But something happened, Quinn. I just... I just don't know what. I don't know what I did."

Quinn stopped at the sound of Rachel's voice. She sounded so confused and so hurt. It twisted her heart. The guilt she had felt since she was just a child multiplied tenfold.

"Okay," the blonde sighed and guided them towards a bus bench, "I guess I need to start at the beginning."

The pair plopped onto the cold bench. Rachel smiled softly and nodded, "That would be the traditional way to go about this mess."

Quinn took in a nervous breath.

"I was a bitch."

Before Rachel could protest, the blonde quickly continued.

"I threw slushies. I called people names. I bashed them behind their backs. I made people feel horrible so I could feel good. I hurt people to feel powerful, to maintain control. But I guess after I got pregnant, I lost all of what being mean had gotten me, and being a bitch got tiring. There wasn't really any point to it anymore. I thought about my baby. Would her mother take her to swim lessons? Would she go to school and make friends? Would she become a woman I was proud to call my daughter? And then I thought of what she would think if she saw me tormenting people like you, if she saw who I had become.

"At first, I felt so humiliated. I was not the person Beth would be proud of, the person she could model herself after had I raised her. I needed to change. Some of it was easy. I stopped the basics, bullying and slushies, but it was more than just those things that I needed to change. Of all the people I've ever truly hurt, you are the one I regret bullying the most."

Rachel shivered. "But why did you bully me? What did I do? Why did you ignore me?"

"Nothing, Rachel," Quinn's eyes were downcast. "It was never about you. It was about me, my family. Remember that first day of swim lessons, the day we first met? We were just kids. My mom saw your fathers and saw us playing together. She panicked. My father... well I guess it's safe to say that he doesn't approve of your family. I don't know if he's homophobic, but he certainly would have been horrified had he seen me being your friend.

"That day after our lesson, my mom asked me to lie. She said not to tell my father about you. And I was so confused, Rachel. I didn't understand. Why did I have to lie? But my mother made it very, very clear that if I were to speak about you, I'd lose you. And I couldn't lose you, so I kept my mouth shut. It got harder and harder to lie once school started. I just wanted to play with you at recess and eat with you at lunch, but I couldn't. What if my Daddy found out? I kept a distance, but it was so hard, Rachel. I couldn't count the number of times I used to look out across the playground and see you playing hopscotch with Tina and wished I could go over and play with you."

Rachel winced at the pain she heard in the blonde's voice. It was beginning to make sense now. Quinn's father was homophobic. Her mother wanted to protect her by letting her keep Rachel as a friend but in secret.

"I'm your secret?" she whispered.

"No, Rachel," she said with conviction, "You_were_ my secret. I was a coward. I am a coward. I could have spoken up. I could have disobeyed my parents. I can't tell you how much I wanted to. The only time I had ever dared talk to you was that day on the swing set. Next thing I knew, my parents had pulled me out of swim lessons and we were in middle school. I didn't know what to do. Soon we became teenagers, and I thought it was too late. You'd never take me back as your friend. You hated me. So then when we entered high school, I needed a way to talk to you. I couldn't keep ignoring you. That's when I met Santana and Brittany. We decided that we wanted to rule the school, so-,"

"So that's when you started to bully me," Rachel finished.

"Yeah, that's when I became a bitch," Quinn said, the humiliation thick in her voice.

"Would you stop saying that?" Rachel snapped, turning fully to face the blonde.

A deep blush crept up on her porcelain skin. Quinn wasn't a bitch. Yes, the bullying did leave Rachel feeling hurt and upset. Yes, the strangely accurate pornographic pictures had hurt her as well. But even after all of the names and neglect, there was never hatred. Quinn wasn't a bitch, she just acted bitchy. If anything Rachel was just confused.

"Why now?" she asked.

"Why now what?"

Rachel sighed, running a nervous hand through her hair, "Why can you suddenly talk to me now?"

"My parents got a divorce," Quinn stated sadly, "I knew it was bad with them. They drank too much. They didn't smile enough. My mom divorced him because he cheated on her. I guess cheating runs in the family. I still see my father every so often with my sister Leslie, but now that he's out of the house, you're not my secret anymore. You're just... Rachel."

Rachel smiled knowingly. It was no surprise to her that Quinn's parents got a divorce. It made more sense now, why their friendship had ended so suddenly, but the voice in the back of her mind was whispering that there had to be something more to it. She was just still so confused about where they stood. Were they friends? Or were they still just acquaintances who ignored each other? Rachel inched a little closer to the blonde, feeling a heat radiating off of her body. She could hear her breathing.

"Well if I'm Rachel now, where does that leave us?" she whispered.

Quinn's face was downcast, eyes hidden by her long blonde hair. Rachel could almost see the wheels turning in her head. Then Quinn turned and looked into her eyes. The moonlight reflected gently off of her hazel eyes. They were so pensive, bearing so much pain and confusion yet with a little glimmer of hope.

"It leaves me and you sitting on a bench at midnight. And it leaves me sitting here asking if there is any chance of you forgiving me."

"Quinn Fabray, did you walk all the way to my house at midnight to ask for my forgiveness?"

"Yes, yes I did," she said with a laugh and the toss of her hair.

Suddenly her face became very solemn, her eyes darkening with worry. Rachel returned her thoughts to the issue at hand. Forgiveness was a tricky concept. She could forgive Quinn, and then what? They become friends? Or she could not forgive her and return to the mutual ignoring.

She couldn't go back to how they were, glances across the choir room that immediately turned into feigned indifference. Tonight and the past two days had reminded Rachel of how much she missed Quinn, her voice, those eyes, and her presence. Something about her just calmed her in this moment. Theirs eyes met for a moment, a long lingering moment, and Rachel swore she could see the desperation in her gaze. It sealed the deal.

"I forgive you," she breathed.

Quinn's face split into a grin as she released the breath she had been holding. Rachel couldn't help but join her, her smile contagious. It was this smile that assured her that she made the right decision. Now that she sort of had Quinn back in her life after six years of absence, she wasn't ready to live without her again.

Quinn looked up to the sky, eyeing the stars hovering above them lighting up the dark night sky. Her eyes snapped shut as she breathed and just smiled.

"I can't believe you forgive me," she whispered quietly.

"Well that's silly. You gave a very convincing argument. I also missed you," Rachel admitted.

Quinn's eyes opened widely, mouth slightly agape, "You... you missed me?"

Her voice was so doubtful. Rachel thought it was obvious; she apparently thought wrong.

"Of course I missed you."

Before Quinn could stop herself she wrapped the brunette into her arms and gave her a tight squeeze. Rachel melted into the embrace. This was where she belonged. She felt Quinn's gentle hands rest on the small of her back and she sighed.

"I missed you too," Quinn whispered into the night, barely loud enough for Rachel to hear.

But she did hear it. And her heart just about stopped. Quinn Fabray missed her, Rachel Berry. Once out of her haze, Rachel remembered that it was past midnight. Both she and Quinn had to be up early for lap swim.

Reluctantly she pulled out of the embrace.

"It's getting a bit late," she said as Quinn agreed.

"Let me walk you home?"

Rachel nodded and they got off of their bench and started for Rachel's house. The walk home was in silence but a kind one, not harsh or uncomfortable. The sounds of the night overcame them. All they could focus on was the bugs buzzing, the wind dancing, and the light sounds of leaves rustling. The night sky was clear, the air brisk, and Rachel felt perfectly content. A weight had been lifted off of her shoulders, a weight that had been there for the past six years.

They finally arrived at Rachel's home. Side by side they walked up the steps before reaching the door. Quinn sighed and found Rachel's eyes.

"Thanks for walking with me. And for forgiving me," she said timidly.

"Anytime," Rachel said with a giggle. "Thanks for talking to me. It was... nice."

"Nice?" Quinn teased. "Just nice? That's all the vocabulary genius that is Rachel Berry can come up with?"

The brunette feigned offense. "I resent that. Just because I like to use complex words, does not mean that I use them all the time. Besides I don't know a word powerful enough to describe what tonight was."

Quinn beamed and placed her hand on Rachel's shoulder.

"I should let you go," she prompted softly.

Rachel nodded. Quinn turned to walk back home.

"Wait, Quinn?"

Quinn turned around quickly. "Yeah?"

The brunette hurried down the stairs and into Quinn's arms for one last hug.

"Goodnight, Rachel," Quinn murmured.

"Goodnight, Quinn."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_June 26th, 2003_

_Summer into 5th Grade_

"_A door that was once open"_

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><p>Quinn was bursting with energy. Her tiny ten-year-old body was practically humming with excitement. While she fidgeted in her chair, Judy placed a bowl of Cheerios in front of her.<p>

"Sit still, honey! We'll leave as soon as you finish your breakfast and get your bathing suit on."

The woman was clad in a blue bikini with a white cover-up dress hanging over her thin frame. When Russell walked into the kitchen, his presence was felt by both girls. Leslie trailed after him, backpack slung over her shoulder, ready to grab a piece of toast and catch her bus to cheerleading camp. Wearing the classic Cheerios uniform and warm-up suit, Leslie was destined to be head cheerleader this year, and boy were her parents proud.

When Judy and Russell attended McKinley, the pair ruled the school. Russell, both smart and athletic, finished out his four years as valedictorian, prom king, and championship-winning quarterback. He was a clean-cut boy on the outside. Unfortunately, his traditional upbringing and abusive drunken father led him to inherit the intolerance of the conservative town. In a word, he was a bully. Gays, nerds, losers, geeks, and loners alike fell victim to his harassment. It was just because he was destined for greatness. He was the smartest and most talented athlete to grace the school. With a full ride to Dickinson College, Russell Fabray was looking at an unheard of level of success for a boy from Lima, Ohio.

Judy Fabray was at the peak of her life. Young, beautiful, and vibrant, the prom queen walked the halls on Russell's arm proudly as the sea of students parted for them. Not the brightest of her year, Judy knew very well that she would most likely attend college in Ohio. She wouldn't have minded if it hadn't been for Russell. Although at a glance, they were typical high school sweethearts, Russell and Judy really were in love.

He had courted her like a gentleman, sweeping her off of her feet with romantic dates. Those hazel eyes captivated her, and before she knew it she had fallen for his everything.

Russell hadn't planned on loving Judy. His original pursuit of her was because of her popularity. Judy was easily the most beautiful girl in the school. She was captain of Sue Sylvester's infamous Cheerios. Guys fell over themselves for her, but not Russell. He knew that if he were to date Judy his popularity would shoot through the roof. He hadn't planned on falling in love with her. He hadn't planned on needing her more than air, or feeling complete with her dainty hand in his. Everyone envied them and even more so envied what they had.

They understood each other and the pressures that plagued their seemingly easy lives. It was classic love at its finest, until they forgot to use a condom. They were both Catholic and had declared abstinence until marriage before they felt the overwhelming passion of lust.

-/-

"Wait-Russ, wait," Judy panted.

Underneath the bleachers, Russell had just attempted to unclasp Judy's laced bra. The reality of where their little make-out session was heading shot Judy straight out of Russell's arms. She had been raised in a Catholic household. Her parents never displayed any affection, except for a polite peck on the cheek every now and then. At Sunday school Judy wasn't exactly educated on the type of passion she felt with Russell. It was a passion that she was terrified of because it had her thinking unnatural thoughts. Like during history, instead of reading about the Revolutionary War, Judy daydreamed about Russell's toned stomach and delicious lips. At night, she dreamed of things that would make her mother faint with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," Russell sincerely whispered into her ear, pulling away from her slowly.

"No!" Judy sighed, exasperated at her confusion. "I just-I don't know what's happening to me. I-I want you, but I'm not supposed to until we're married, right? We shouldn't want to do this kind of stuff till we're married, Russ. Would you stop looking at me like that? It's not making this any easier!"

Russell gaped at his girlfriend, and then with a shy grin asked seductively, "You want me?"

Judy rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up."

"Then I guess I should tell you that I want you too, Judy."

Blushing hard, Judy moved closer to Russell, letting their hands entwine easily.

"What are we going to do? My mother would be furious if she knew we were contemplating ... doing... it," she said in a hushed voice. "And my father would disown me."

Russell's expression darkened. "My father doesn't care. My mother, on the other hand, would murder me."

Judy squeezed his hand as an unnerving silence crept over them. Then, an idea popped into Russell's head.

"Judy?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes?"

"Would you...do you love me?"

Judy's eyes widened, hurt by his question. "Of course I do!"

"Would you ever... want to marry me?" Russell's heart was pounding.

"I-," Judy began, shocked into silence. "Russell Fabray, I'd want nothing more than to be your wife. Would you ever want to marry me?"

A chin-spitting grin broke across Russell's face. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to marry you, Judy."

"Just checking." Judy smiled, her face red as a tomato.

Russell cupped her face in his hands, stroking the side of her cheek with his thumb. "Well, if we know we're going to get married one day, maybe it won't be so bad if we do... it before we're actually married. Only if you are okay with it though."

Tears streamed down Judy's face, but not for long. Russell swiftly wiped them away with his thumb. How could she say no? The man of her dreams was sort of proposing to her. Their heads dipped down, their hearts beating wildly. Russell captured Judy's pink lips, savoring her taste. Then another thought popped into his head. He rapidly pulled away.

"And I'm not saying I want to marry you just to... do it with you, okay? I really love you, and I really want to marry-," Russell was cut off by Judy's lips.

"I know," she breathed.

Little did the love birds know their first time would come a month later at graduation.

"I'm so proud of you, Judy," a lanky fifty-year-old man said, kissing his daughter's cheeks.

Judy beamed, nodding and gladly accepting the kiss. The music of the massive graduation party hosted by one of Russell's football buddies pulsed in the background. Russell stood by, hand on the small of Judy's back, watching the pair with both pride and jealously. His father hadn't showed; he most likely was with his buddies at the bar or at the house watching the baseball game. Judy moved to hug her father tightly, holding back tears.

"I love you, Daddy," she mumbled into his coat.

"And you my darling."

The two pulled apart, saying their goodbyes. Just when Russell was sure her father was about to leave, he turned to him and enveloped him in a bear hug.

"I'm proud of you too, son."

Russell's heart melted at the words. His father had never told him that, not when he hit his first home run in Little League baseball, not when he got his first straight-A report card, not when he won valedictorian, and certainly not when he got accepted with a scholarship to Dickinson, his dream school.

"Thank you, sir."

After her father left, Judy pulled Russell away from the crowd and into the backyard. Hand in hand, they walked slowly to a tree where they slid down next to each other. Judy's head fit perfectly in the crook of Russell's shoulder. They sighed contently as a light breeze tickled their bare skin.

"Russ?"

"Mhm," the boy mumbled, pulling his girlfriend closer into himself.

"I love you."

Smiling, Russell opened his eyes to meet his wife's sparkling grin. "I love you too.

Their lips found each other in the dark, the touch electrifying their already humming bodies. Russell's hands landed softly on Judy's slender hips, and she sighed into the touch. The kiss intensified quickly, and soon Russell was pulling Judy towards the small wood in back of the house.

Carefully, he laid her down to the ground, hands on either side of her, and just stared. Eyes raked down her body.

"What is it?" Judy asked insecurely.

He shook his head with a smile. "Nothing. You're too good for me, that's all."

Judy shot up from her position, grabbing Russel's head in her hands. Her thumb stroked his defined jaw line.

"Hey, don't you dare say that to me, Russell Fabray. I don't care what your father says or what anyone else says for that matter. You are good enough for me, okay?"

Sealing it with a burning kiss, the two began to strip, plunging themselves into the depths of their passion without protection.

Judy missed her period a week later. Then she was throwing up anything she ate. Then came that pretty pink plus sign and a doctor's appointment. Tears came next, a lot of them. Judy's father was horrified at first. Judy, just a young girl of seventeen, was terrified that she had just lost her father; she couldn't have been more wrong.

The pregnancy changed everything. Russell wouldn't leave Lima, wouldn't leave Judy, wouldn't leave his daughter. He threw away his scholarship, trading in his spot at Dickinson for a slot at the local community college. Judy and Russell lived with Judy's father Hank for the duration of the pregnancy. College was out of the question for the young mother, so she spent her days caring for her father, cleaning as much as she could, and finding opportunities for a job once the baby came.

Like a strong rip tide, life tugged the young couple away from their bright futures towards their mundane realities before they were more than a month out of high school. Nine months passed by slowly, and though he would never admit it, Russell resented Judy for holding him back from his potential. Judy felt guilty almost one hundred percent of the time. It was the beginning of the end.

They named her Leslie, after Judy's deceased mother. She was beautiful, and for that first morning in the hospital at 5am Russell and Judy felt the love they had experienced on the night they conceived the baby girl. It was ephemeral, and before they knew it they were consumed by married life, and their love got lost at sea.

-/-

"Momma! Stop it!" Quinn squealed as her mother tickled her while she resisted being put into her baby blue bathing suit.

"Maybe if you'd sit still for one second I wouldn't have to hold you down like some wild animal!"

The two giggled as they got ready for their outing with the Berrys. Judy had called Leroy the night before while Russell was at work. The two planned a little play date for the girls at the outdoor pool at the community center. They all needed a little rest and relaxation and a lot of sun.

Once they were packed and dressed, Judy started up the van and drove the bursting blonde to the pool. They pulled into the lot at around 11:30 and trudged to the locker room. Quinn sprinted to the pool but was stopped by her mother dragging her back to get her clothing off. Within five minutes they were ready. Magazine and towels in hand, Judy tugged Quinn outside into the early summer heat.

The pool wasn't too crowed yet, but it would be filled with families soon enough. While Judy went off to lug a lounge chair onto the lawn, Quinn spotted Rachel and her dads. Leroy was smothering the tiny brunette with sunscreen, and Hiram simply bossed his husband where to apply the cream.

"Left, Lee! Left!" he hollered before a short pause, eyes examining his daughter with care. "Wait you forgot her right shoulder! Right, Lee! Right!"

Leroy rolled his eyes, secretly enjoying Hiram's antics, and continued to tend to Rachel. Patiently Rachel looked across the lawn and immediately met Quinn's eyes. Beaming, the brunette jumped off of the lawn chair and broke into a run.

"Quinn!" she called happily, forgetting that they hadn't really been able to act like friends in a long time.

The blonde waved enthusiastically, skipping across the slightly wet grass barefoot to greet her friend.

"Hi, Rachel!"

After Quinn was covered in sunblock and Rachel grabbed her plastic rings, the girls walked over to the pool with big smiles. Rachel was tingling with excitement. When they reached the ladder, Quinn dipped her feet in to test the temperature.

"Ooh! It's cold!" she squealed, causing Rachel to giggle.

The two waded tentatively into the water before dunking their heads under. With a wide smile, the brunette paddled her way to the deep end.

"Come on, Quinn!" she called.

Quinn struggled a bit but eventually caught up. She ducked beneath the dividing rope and swam into the deep end to meet Rachel, who was leaning on the wall with the rings in her hand. Grabbing onto the sturdy wall, Quinn flashed her smile.

"So where are we today, Rachel?"

Rachel bit her lip in thought. She had a million ideas flood into her mind at once, but only one stood out. Ever since her Dad had told her about the play date, Rachel had been planning on what they would do and say and play. She had barely slept the night before, and yet she was still bursting with energy.

"You pick."

Hazel eyes brightened. "Hm... okay," Quinn began. "We're... on an island!"

"Where?" Rachel asked curiously.

"Really really far away," Quinn explained, "And we're the only ones in the whole universe who know about it."

Nodding, Rachel gestured for her to continue.

"And well, on this island, you and I can do whatever we want because no one else is around!"

"Can there be buried treasure, Quinn?"

Quinn splashed her lightly. "It wouldn't be a secret island without treasure, silly!"

The brunette laughed, whipping out the plastic rings. "Well, then," she began, tossing the rings far into the deep end, "we better go find it!"

Simultaneously the girls dove downwards into the depths of the pool. Pushing the water with her arms, Quinn swam towards a pink ring, eventually grasping it in her hand firmly. She pushed off of the bottom of the pool, quickly surfacing for air.

Rachel greeted her with a grin. "You found the first piece of lost treasure! Wow, it's so beautiful, and golden."

"You're turn!" Quinn yelled, chucking the plastic ring as far as she could.

The brunette plunged down, disappearing underneath the bright blue water. Quinn looked up to the sky and sighed. It was so simple with Rachel. She didn't have to be proper or a perfect young lady. With Rachel, she could be goofy and silly and just herself.

"Got it!" a shrill voice declared from the far end of the pool.

Quinn sprinted to meet her, heaving air in and out of her lungs once she reached her destination. A shy grin crept across her face. Rachel was staring at her with honest eyes and an even more honest smile. Suddenly, the brunette became more serious.

"Quinn?" she asked softly. "Why does this island need to be a secret?"

The blonde's skin went pale. "Because I don't want to have to share it with anybody else but you, Rach."

Beaming, Rachel hugged her in the water, pulling her down beneath the surface. The next hour was spent in a similar fashion. One girl threw a plastic ring down to the bottom of the pool so that the other could go and discover a new piece of their secret treasure.

Their parents watched from afar, entertained by their antics. Leroy smiled, nudging his husband who was currently reading The New York Times.

"Those kids have some imagination," he said with a laugh.

"How are you two doing? I feel like it's been forever," Judy prompted, placing her magazine down on her lap.

"Well you know, I'm still writing away, and Lee's still saving lives, my hero," Hiram swooned, causing his husband to roll his eyes.

"Oh stop. Is Quinn going to be in lessons next session?" Leroy asked curiously.

"Yes, of course! I signed her up just the other day. I cannot believe how much time has passed, can you? They are growing up too fast."

Hiram glanced quickly at Leroy before responding. "You can say that again. Hey, Lee, what time is it?"

"Mhm," Leroy paused to look at his watch, "1:30. Why, you think it's time for some lunch?"

Hiram nodded, pulling out the cooler filled with drinks and sandwiches. Judy assembled the plates and napkins.

"Rachel! Quinn!" Leroy called from the chairs. "Come on over for some lunch!"

With that, the girls hopped out of the pool, racing towards the lawn. As they passed the lane lines that sat outside of the pool waiting for repair, Rachel tripped over the end of one of the lanes, face planting onto the concrete. Quinn stopped immediately once she heard Rachel's cry of distress.

"Rachel!" she yelled and ran towards the fallen girl.

Her foot was bleeding, and Rachel's knee was scraped up. Quinn knelt to her side and grabbed her hand quickly. The brunette was breathing heavily, holding back tears but failing. Leroy and Hiram sprinted over to their daughter, the lifeguard trailing closely behind.

"What happened?" the lifeguard asked earnestly.

"Uh-," Quinn stuttered, her grip on Rachel tightening, "Rachel was running and tripped on the lane line. Her foot-it's-it's bleeding."

"Okay, let's get her over to the first aid office."

Never letting go of the blonde, Rachel limped over to the bricked building. Leroy and Hiram held her up with Quinn's help. Tears streamed down Rachel's face. Once inside the office, the lifeguard asked Quinn to leave. Suddenly helpless, Quinn looked to Rachel.

"No," Rachel said firmly. "Please let her stay."

Within minutes, Rachel's foot was disinfected and bandaged. The entire time her hand clutched Quinn's. When the pain intensified, the grip followed suit. Quinn barely felt a thing, just the soft hand holding hers and the pain from seeing Rachel hurt.

After a lesson on not running on the pool deck, the four returned to Judy who was sitting nervously on her lounge chair.

"Is everything alright?" she asked worriedly.

Rachel smiled bravely, still holding onto Quinn, and nodded. "I'm okay, Mrs. Fabray."

"Oh, honey, call me Judy! I'm glad you're safe."

The girls sat down on their towels a few feet from their parents. After munching on the delicious lunch Hiram had packed, Quinn became a bit antsy.

"Hey, Momma, can me and Rachel go sit under that tree in the shade?"

Judy nodded as she cleaned up their meal, and they dragged their towels over to the shade. Lying on their backs, Quinn and Rachel gazed up at the clouds.

"I'm glad you're okay, Rachel. You're really brave," Quinn said quietly.

Rachel smiled, sliding her hand back into Quinn's where it belonged.

"Thanks for staying."

A warm breeze blew over them. Within ten minutes the two were sound asleep. Judy turned her head to check on the girls and saw them sleeping.

"Looks like those two are beat, huh?" she commented.

"Well they survived quite an adventure," Leroy responded.

A few hours later, when both girls woke up to the sun a little lower in the sky and the air a little cooler than it was when they had arrived, Quinn rolled over to face the brunette.

"Rachel?"

"Yes?"

"Quinn! Rachel! It's time to go!" Hiram called.

Quinn breathed and squeezed the hand in hers. "I don't want to go."

In a way, Rachel knew what was coming. The summer would pass, and their friendship would be stronger than ever until it was time to return to school. Then all of their memories would be erased, and they'd be strangers once more. Rachel sighed.

"Maybe you don't have to."

Hazel eyes shut tightly. "You have no idea how much I want to stay."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Happy Monday! I hope you liked that chapter. Please let me know what you think and drop me a review :) You guys are amazing!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_July 18h, 2010_

_Summer into Junior Year_

"_Lost in the sun"_

* * *

><p>The house was abnormally quiet as Leroy pushed open the front door. Suitcases in hand, Hiram followed and noticed the silence as well. He checked his watch. It was 7:30am, and their daughter didn't seem to be home. Their weekend excursion had transported them back to earlier days that were filled with overwhelming passion and freedom and love. Of course many years later those same feelings still existed, but the last two days had been a reminder of where it all began.<p>

-/-

It began with a curtain. Hiram was seventeen, an admitted theater geek, and an employee at Lima's infamous Sheets N' Things. After surviving a full school day, the young man spent his evenings inside the extensive store folding sheets and working the cash register. Some nights he stocked the shelves with new products. Those were his favorite nights, when he could roam the aisles and imagine shopping there one day with his...his lover for sheets for their new home. Hiram was gay, gay as a rainbow, his father used to say. Both of his parents were extremely liberal for Lima, Ohio, and acceptance, he had found, came easily in their household. Of course no one but his family knew. He was bullied enough for his love of the arts and his lack of athletic talent. Imagine what coming out to a school full of homophobic neanderthals would bring for the him.

One late night, the running back of the McKinley football team entered the deserted store cautiously. His sneakers squeaked against the linoleum floors as he walked up and down the aisles searching for a new towel for his gym locker. Hiram was stocking the curtain aisle, admiring the new prints and designs of the fabric. Leroy turned and froze when he saw Hiram caressing one curtain in particular.

The boy was wearing jeans a size too big for him and a baggy Sheets N' Things vest over his brown t-shirt. His red hair curled down to his ears, just above his freckled skin. Leroy's throat dried instantly.

"Excuse me?"

Hiram turned to face one of the jocks that tormented him at school. His stomach dropped. Trying not to flinch, he put on his best salesman smile.

"Yes? How may I help you?"

Leroy's eyes darted to the floor nervously, then back to Hiram's. What did he need again? Right, towels. He needed towels.

"Uhm," he stuttered, looking down to the curtain in the boy's hands, "that's a nice curtain."

Hiram smiled enthusiastically, nodding in agreement. "It's part of this new sunshine collection my boss ordered for the spring time sale. I would die to have these in my kitchen you know? Like cooking, and then looking out the window and seeing these sunny swirls. I don't know," he said, slowing down his ramble with a deep scarlet blush, "That was probably a 'faggy' thing to say, right?"

Leroy winced. He recognized Hiram from school and was pretty sure that Hiram recognized him too. It was no secret that the boy was the victim of the incessant bullying that went on at school. It was Leroy's team that was doing the harassing. They had beleaguered Hiram, yelling every slur for homosexual at him in the halls of McKinley. Part of him was ashamed to be associated with the team, but Leroy's fears of being outed and therefore becoming a victim were too strong to be ignored. Because of these fears, Leroy was left standing by helplessly as they flushed some guy's glasses down a toilet or spray-painted Hiram's locker with the word fag in big black letters. It only further confirmed that Leroy was a hypocrite. Leroy hated himself on most days.

But his team wasn't here right now. He didn't have to play their games.

"That's not faggy," he said softly. "I really like this one too. It reminds me of... well this is embarrassing, but it reminds me of you a bit."

Hiram gazed at him with a look of adoration mixed with shock, not knowing that the answer to his next question would be the answer that would make him fall in love with Leroy.

"How so?" he asked, trying desperately to keep his composure.

"Uh-, well I guess it's because you don't let the assholes at school get you down. And your smile's bright too like... like sunshine..."

Clearing his throat, Leroy attempted to change the subject as perhaps the deepest blush in recorded history pervaded his cheeks.

"Anyways, I was just looking for... uh, a towel. Could you help me find one?"

The redhead grinned and nodded eagerly, placing the curtain back on its shelf and guiding Leroy to aisle seven. Leroy smiled and nodded as Hiram rambled on about thread counts, trying to ignore the pounding inside of his chest and the sweat forming on his hands. It wouldn't be until a month later that he would realize that this was the moment _he_ fell in love with a dorky theater-obsessed Irish ginger who made the best snicker doodles in Lima, Ohio.

-/-

"Lee? Why do I feel like we're in some sort of horror movie, and some guy with a mask is going to come out of the closet and stab us?" Hiram asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

The sound of that voice brought Leroy back to present as he grabbed his husband's suitcase and lugged it upstairs.

"You're paranoid," he teased from the top of the staircase, "Remind me never to watch _I__Know__What__You__Did__Last__Summer_ or _Scream_ with you ever again."

"No!" Hiram protested from below. "Didn't you love it when I jumped into your strong arms for protection?"

Laughing, Leroy rolled his eyes and blushed. He had loved it, but he couldn't let Hiram know that. He trudged down the stairs happily.

"Nope, didn't love it at all," he teased as Hiram's jaw dropped playfully, feigning shock.

The men took to the kitchen to make themselves a small breakfast. The sunlight streamed in through those curtains while Leroy flipped the vegan pancakes his daughter had insisted on buying. Hiram slipped off of his stool and wrapped his arms around his husband's broad shoulders. A warmth shot through them. Leroy smiled brightly, shaking the pan lightly, and sighed. How he could be so happy was always a mystery to him. Well, not really. A certain redhead might have had something to do with it.

Just then, as lips were beginning their movement toward each other, the kitchen door was flung open. The men didn't so much as bat an eye, continuing to kiss until their hearts were content. The brunette waited patiently, grabbing a bowl of strawberries from the refrigerator.

"Morning, love," Hiram managed to say once he separated himself from Leroy.

"Good morning, Daddy," Rachel said with a megawatt smile, popping a berry into her mouth.

"Oooh somebody's in a cheery mood!" Leroy commented as he slid the pancakes onto a platter.

Rachel playfully rolled her eyes. "It's nothing, Dad. I went for a nice swim this morning."

"Is that some euphemism that I am not aware of, honey?" Hiram asked with a wink.

"Uh-God, no! I simply went to the pool and swam laps for an hour. You two are so perverse!" Rachel exclaimed with a blush.

The men laughed heartily as they took their seats. Their daughter remained standing, gazing into the distance. She seemed to be lost in her mind.

"Earth to Rachel," Leroy teased.

"What? Oh-," Rachel smiled, "Sorry, I just need to go shower. I had breakfast earlier before swimming, and Quinn and I will be dining at that new vegan restaurant this afternoon at 1pm so..." she hesitated slightly, "I'll be upstairs uh- yeah."

With that the girl was scurrying up the stairs. The men looked at each other.

"That was..." Hiram began.

"Odd," Leroy finished.

-/-

Rachel plopped her bag on the floor, and then proceeded to collapse onto her bed. In a word, she was exhausted. For one thing, she fell asleep at two in the morning though her walk with Quinn had only lasted about half an hour. Her brain just wouldn't shut off. As she tried to fall asleep it kept replaying their walk over and over again.

Then she woke up at 6am to go lap swimming. Even though her body was screaming at her not to go, Rachel needed to see Quinn again, body be damned. Of course now she was paying for it in the form of sore calves, dripping wet hair, and the strong stench of chlorine that stained her body. It was so worth it though.

-/-

Watching lap swim was normally boring for Quinn, but the instant Rachel started coming, the insipid morning became extremely interesting. Quinn shifted herself on the chair, her foot falling asleep, and placed her head in the palm of her hand. A yawn stretched out her face making her eyes watery. Then the door opened, and Quinn found herself completely awake.

Rachel strolled in with much more confidence and a bright smile. Another pink bathing suit hung over her frame. Quinn tried not to gape, but how could she not? The girl was smoking, even Quinn had to admit that. She had endless legs, toned calves, and the perfect amount of curves. The brunette flashed her a wave before getting into the cold water to begin her workout.

And then Quinn watched. She watched like her life depended on it. Like watching a tennis match, Quinn's hazel eyes flashed back and forth following Rachel's movements in the water. The water melded with her body, forming around her curves, and her feet left a trail of bubbles behind. Effortlessly was the only way to really describe how Rachel swam. Quinn found herself mesmerized.

Time flew by, and before she knew it the lap swim was over. Rachel hoisted herself out of the pool and shuffled over to her towel, water dripping down her skin. Quinn hopped off of the stand and, holding her rescue tube over her shoulder, walked over to meet the brunette.

"Hey, Rachel," she greeted kindly.

The brunette grinned, towel firmly wrapped around her body, and took a breath.

"Good morning, Quinn!"

"How are you?"

"Well, actually, I'm quite exhausted. You see this blonde girl showed up at my doorstep at midnight last night demanding I walk with her! I barely got any sleep!" Rachel teased.

Quinn blushed profusely but played along. "Oh really? That's odd... she must really really like you then, huh?"

Now it was Rachel's turn to blush and giggle.

_Mission accomplished._

"I guess so," Rachel said dramatically, "I actually have a question for you, Ms. Fabray."

Quinn laughed at the formality. "I have an answer for you, Ms. Berry."

The brunette rolled her eyes and continued. "What time do you get off of work?"

That was an interesting question. "12:30...why?"

Biting her lip, Rachel shifted her weight nervously. "Well, I was hoping that one of these days we could hang out the normal way, as in not at midnight or in the pool for three seconds. I don't know if you'd be up for it, but maybe we could grab lunch later?"

Quinn beamed in adoration. Those rambles were too cute. She nodded in agreement. "I am more than up for it, Ms. Berry. Where would you like to go? I know they opened up that little vegan place on Kramer Street. Wanna try that?"

"Oh yes! I've been wanting to go there! That sounds perfect! Why don't we meet there around one?"

"One is perfect."

_You__'__re__perfect_.

Rachel blushed at the thought, feeling lucky that Quinn wasn't a mind reader. That would be problematic. Those hazel eyes locked on hers, causing her to lose her train of thought. She couldn't believe it had taken her so long to notice them. They held a lot of secrets.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later, Quinn," Rachel began as she picked up her things to go find refuge in the locker room.

"I guess so," the blonde teased with a genuine smile.

-/-

And now Rachel was pacing the floor. What does one wear to an... outing with a friend at the new vegan restaurant? Formal or casual? Brain racing, Rachel flung open her closet door. Nothing seemed to be good enough. She didn't even know why she was getting so worked up about it, but her innate desire to please everyone, especially Quinn, might have had something to do with it.

Finally, about an hour later, the brunette decided on an outfit. It was simple, a mix between casual and formal, and a perfect blend of colors to fit her skin tone and eye color. Rachel examined herself in the mirror. Scrutinizing every feature until it was just right, she wondered how this would pan out. Would it be awkward?

-/-

"It's not going to be awkward," Santana said, exasperated by her best friend's paranoia.

Quinn was putting the finishing touches on her look. After a quick, scalding shower, she had called over Santana for... well... advice. Rachel had kind of asked her to hang out, and Quinn didn't know what to do or how to act. For the past few years their relationship had consisted of either quick glances in the hallways or full-blown confrontations over a certain Finn Hudson. Now they had reached a sort of truce, but Quinn still felt like she was walking on thin ice.

"I've never like... hung out with her alone before. What if she doesn't like it? What if we have nothing to talk about? What if she hates it? What if the food is nasty?"

Santana rolled her eyes playfully. "Jeeze, Q, I haven't seen you this nervous since your first date with Finnept."

"Oh shut up. This isn't a date. It's a casual hang out between friends," Quinn recited.

The brunette blinked. "What, is Berry contagious or something? You sound just like the dwarf."

"Again, shut up! I just... I want to do this right, Santana."

"Do what right?" Santana asks incredulously.

"Be her friend!" Quinn shouted, not realizing the volume of her voice until she was staring at a wide-eyed Santana.

"Whatever. Go be her friend and live happily fucking ever after in the fucking friend zone. It's fucking paradise," Santana yelled back, immediately silencing the blonde.

"Sorry," Santana mumbled guiltily.

Santana retracted into herself, pulling her knees into her chest from her perch on Quinn's bed.

Quinn sighed. It was obvious why the brunette was lashing out at her, but Quinn didn't want to push Santana yet. The girl sat on her bed, staring solemnly out the window. With a finger, she twirled her dark brown curls round and round. Quinn knew the mannerism well. It meant that she was upset.

"She called me last night," the brunette said softly. "Said she misses me."

Making her way over to the bed, Quinn looked at her best friend.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Yeah," Santana started, " cuz I miss her too, but she misses me as a friend. I miss her because I-," she cut herself off before she revealed too much of herself.

"San," Quinn cooed, beginning to wrap her arm around Santana.

"Forget it," she said dejectedly, shrugging off the gesture. "Have fun at lunch. Are we still on for our run tonight?"

Quinn nodded, ignoring her friend's obvious avoidance of Brittany. "Meet at my house at say 11pm?"

"Right."

Lifting herself off of the bed, Quinn slung her bag over her shoulder and walked to the door. They needed to talk about Brittany. They couldn't avoid it forever. Santana and Quinn both had tendencies to be blind to what was right in front of them. They were complete cowards when it came to who they loved. Santana had been in love with Brittany since the day Quinn had met them freshman year. Though oblivious to it at the time, Quinn always had that little voice in the back of her head telling her it was something more. She just never listened to it until the realization smacked her in the face. And then they fell apart when Santana, unable to fully acknowledge and articulate her feelings, pushed the blonde out of her life in a way only Quinn and Brittany really understood.

Sure, the two were still hanging around together, pinkies linked, but there were differences only the trio could truly see. Right now Quinn just wanted to smack Santana up the side of the head so she could see what a mistake she was making, but she knew that would never really wake Santana up. She needed to come to this realization herself. Quinn just hoped her epiphany didn't come too late.

"Hey, S?"

"Yeah?"

Quinn smiled softly. "You should call her back and tell her that."

"Tell her what?" Santana asked, though she knows exactly what Quinn is referring to.

"You know what. I don't want my best friend to have any regrets."

With that, the blonde was off, stomach churning and fingers shaking, leaving Santana staring at her cell phone with an equally churning stomach and equally shaky fingers.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I hope you guys are enjoying this! Thank you all for story alerting and reviewing! It means so much to me. Happy Wednesday!_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_2005-2007 _

_5th Grade- 7th Grade_

"_Lonely people tumble downwards"_

* * *

><p>Quinn's indifference towards Rachel was unbearable. The brunette perfected her longing stare from a distance while Quinn seemed to be in her own world where everything was perfect. Every single fifth grader fawned over her, begging to sit with her at lunch and handing over their Oreos. The young blonde, aware of her power even then, would either gracefully accept these requests or politely decline. Her friends followed her around like lovesick puppy dogs.<p>

Rachel didn't have any friends aside from Tina, who, as fate would have it, was in a different class that year. Fifth grade was difficult for the brunette mainly because the school rewarded its graduating class with yearbooks. Rachel avoided the camera like the plague for fear of torment. Rachel knew she was photogenic; it was just that she didn't want the camera to capture her lack of friends. As a ten year old, Rachel hated the fact that she had a grand total of one friend.

Rachel spent her lunches with Tina, talking and eating peanut butter sandwiches. Sometimes she would hear Quinn from across the room laughing at a joke one of her new friends told. The sound first brought Rachel joy, but the joy quickly morphed into sadness. She used to make Quinn laugh. Lonely took on a whole new meaning, and Rachel firmly believed that something was wrong with her. No one wanted to talk to her, despite her charisma, charm, and obvious talent. The cool kids of fifth grade were the ones with the coolest lunch boxes and the prettiest hair. Quinn fit the bill effortlessly.

Midway through the year, Tina met Artie, a young boy in their grade who was known for his wheelchair. Dressed in classic sweater vests and khakis, Artie managed to woo Tina, who enjoyed nothing more than wheeling him around the school and holding his hand at lunch. Although she was happy for her friend, Tina meeting Artie meant only one thing for Rachel: she was going to be ditched.

"I'm sorry, Rachel, but I really like Artie. And he has no friends. So I need to be nice to him and sit with him at lunch," she said shyly before leaving Rachel and returning to her new best friend.

At first Rachel seethed with jealously. A nerdy kid in a wheelchair had just stolen her only friend! Then she looked over to Quinn. The two shared a fleeting glance before Quinn's eyes darted away and she immediately returned to her conversation. Rachel sighed.

"Can I sit here?"

Rachel took a break from her pity party to spin around and meet a pair of deep brown eyes. Someone wanted to sit with her? Her heart leapt.

"Of course!" she said with a smile, pulling out a chair for the young boy. "I'm Rachel."

"I know. I'm Noah."

The brunette extended a hand to her newest friend. She still had trouble believing that someone wanted to sit with her at lunch.

"Nice to meet you, Noah."

Still slightly in shock, Rachel pulled out her pink-starred lunch box and began to unpack her meal. Her Daddies had packed her a perfectly cut peanut butter sandwich, a bag of carrots, and a fruit cup. She smiled at the small note Daddy had left her.

_Smile, my love. Enjoy the day :) _

_Love,_

_Daddy_

"Your daddy makes your lunch?" Noah asked incredulously, a glint of sadness in his eyes.

Rachel nodded, taking a bite of the sandwich. "My daddies make my breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday!"

Noah looked down at his messily put together sandwich sitting on top of his brown paper bag. An embarrassed blush pervaded his cheeks.

"Daddies?"

"Yes! I have two daddies instead of a mommy and a daddy," Rachel explained proudly.

"Oh," Noah said, looking down at his hands. "That's, uh, cool I guess."

Rachel picked up on her new friend's sadness. "What do you have for lunch?" she asked kindly.

"Uh," Noah began, picking up his sloppy sandwich. "It's ham on bread."

"Did your daddy make it?"

"No," Noah answered softly. "I did."

Rachel smiled and took the boys hand in hers. "Well it's a really good sandwich, Noah. You should be a sandwich maker one day!"

The boy grinned proudly. "You think?"

"Mhm," Rachel murmured through a mouthful of carrot.

The two quickly fell into a rhythm. Each day at lunch they sat at the table near the back of the cafeteria. Noah brought his makeshift lunches, and Rachel munched on her homemade sandwiches. Rachel would babble on about her dads or dance classes or singing lessons, and Noah patiently listened. He was a shy boy at first, but after a few days he was laughing and teasing Rachel. They played together at recess, racing around their favorite tree or simply talking underneath its safe branches. For the first time, Rachel forgot that she had no friends. It didn't really matter to her now that she had Noah, a real friend.

Quinn observed the pair from her end of the playground with heavily suppressed envy. For years, as she ignored Rachel, Quinn sailed through elementary school with a ton of friends and popularity. Granted, her friends were not the genuine kind, but Quinn had them. Now seeing Rachel happy with someone instead of sulking alongside Tina at lunch, Quinn felt a surge of jealousy. Noah made Rachel laugh and smile, and those once frequent longing stares were becoming extinct. She'd never admit it, but Quinn wished she could make Rachel laugh and smile like that.

Quinn was doing everything by the book, for a ten year old. Her parents were proud of her. She was the perfect, obedient daughter, but all the while Noah was pulling Rachel further away from her, and Quinn was beginning to panic. Sure, she was the one who had distanced them in the first place, but seeing Rachel happy without her changed everything. It proved to Quinn that she was replaceable. Rachel wasn't a complete loser, nor was she alone. Soon Rachel wouldn't even look at her across the playground or across the lunchroom or from the window of her dad's Volvo. Within the course of three weeks, Quinn felt the reality of her choice, the reality of her abandonment, and the reality of losing the only real friend she had ever had.

-/-

"Noah?" Rachel asked one day at lunch.

Noah looked up from his lunch. The boy was dressed in a pair of worn jeans, a white t-shirt, and sneakers. His hair was tousled from his mother saying goodbye to him that morning.

"Yeah?"

Rachel bit her lip nervously. "Wannacomeovertodayafterschool?"

"Huh?"

"Wanna come over today... after school? Rachel asked slower.

Noah blinked, then smiled. "Sure, Rach. I'll ask my mom."

The brunette squealed loudly, pulling her friend into a side hug. A few kids glared at her, but resumed their meals. Quinn was fuming.

"Ah you're choking me!" Noah cried out playfully.

Giggling, Rachel released her friend as they continued their lunch. The day slowly dragged on until the final bell rang, freeing the kids from their classrooms. Rachel met Noah at the swings with a bright smile and her backpack slung over her back.

"Ready?" he asked, offering her his arm. Rachel linked their arms as they made their way to Mrs. Puckerman.

"Hey, Mamma" Noah greeted the woman sweetly. "This is my best friend, Rachel."

"Ah, this is the famous Rachel. She's cute. It's very nice to meet you, Rachel."

Rachel extended her hand maturely. "It is very nice to meet you, Mrs. Puckerman."

Noah's mother laughed. "What's up, hun?"

"Uh, can I go to Rachel's house today? Her dads can drive me home later or something."

Shrugging, Noah's mother agreed to the first of the pair's many play dates. Rachel dragged Noah to the car, where Leroy greeted them.

"Dad!" Rachel exclaimed from the sidewalk.

Leroy parked the car and got out to hug his daughter. "Hey, darling. How are you?"

"I'm good," Rachel paused, pulling Noah closer to her. "This is Noah. Can he come over tonight for dinner?"

Beaming, Leroy agreed instantly. It was is daughter's first play date with a friend other than Quinn. He was ecstatic.

"It's nice to meet you, Noah," Leroy said warmly, earning a grin from the shy boy. "Let's go, shall we?"

Rachel and Noah camped out in the backyard. Together they climbed the big tree Rachel had begged her fathers to build a treehouse in. Sitting comfortably in the secluded branches, Rachel sighed.

"Your Dads are awesome," Noah said wistfully.

"Thanks," Rachel replied with a soft smile.

"I wish they were my dads."

Rachel gaped. "Why?"

"My dad's never around. I don't know. He likes to play guitar. He's in some band or something. He taught me some stuff which I guess is cool, but like he doesn't make me lunch or breakfast or dinner like your dads. I don't really see him all that much. Just a couple times a month."

Noah looked off into the sky and watched the sun set beneath the rows of house. Suddenly, he hopped down from his perch and slid up against the trunk. A few moments later, Rachel joined him, letting their shoulders touch lightly.

"Where does he go when he's not home?" she asked softly.

He turned to her, with broken eyes, and shook his head. "I don't know, Rach."

Quickly, Rachel wrapped her arm around Noah's shoulder. The boy snaked his arm around her waist. They sat like this for a while, just breathing, until Hiram called them in for dinner. Before leaving, Noah hugged both men tightly, thanking them over and over again. All Rachel could do was put on a happy face until he left. She didn't know how to react. In her ten years of existence, Rachel had only been shown love from her parents. To hear that Noah's father was never around broke her heart.

She made it her personal mission to have Noah over at least twice a week from then on. They spent their afternoons doing homework at the kitchen table while Hiram and Leroy danced and made dinner. Afterwards, Noah hoisted Rachel up into their tree where they'd listen to the night and talk. When it got too cold, the pair reassembled in the living room where they built fort after fort, watched movie after movie, and grew closer in the heat of a warm home.

Over the course of three years, Noah Puckerman had found a home at the Berry's. Leroy and Hiram became his impromptu fathers, partially filling the void created by his real father. When swim lessons stopped, and Quinn officially stopped speaking to Rachel, Noah was there. He was the only soul Rachel had ever told about their friendship. She poured her heart to him, and like the loyal friend he was, he held her tightly and wiped her tears.

Lonely people gravitate towards one another. Lonely people share one common feeling that acts as a magnet, drawing them together quickly and permanently if kept close together. They knew emptiness. They knew abandonment, and heartache, and longing.

In April of the seventh grade, when Rachel was woken up at two in the morning by the house phone ringing, the reality of Noah's loneliness crashed down on the Berrys.

"Hello?" Leroy asked sleepily, gently shrugging off Hiram who was draped over him like a blanket.

"Mr. Berry?"

"Noah?" Leroy shot out of bed. "What is it?"

"I-is Rachel there?" he stuttered.

Within minutes, Rachel grasped onto the phone as a sense of dread settled in her stomach.

"Hey, Noah," she said quietly.

"Hey, uh, Rach."

Rachel heard a wail coming from somewhere in the distance. Her heart leapt into her throat. Noah sniffled into the phone.

"So my dad he...I don't know," he voice cracked. "Can you-,"

"I'll be right there," Rachel interrupted before hanging up the phone.

The Berrys rushed over to Noah's home a few blocks away. Dressed in robes and pajamas, the family burst into the house. It was as if a tornado had blew threw the place. A broken lamp lay next to the door. Clothing and newspapers were strewn across the floor. Faintly, Rachel heard a whimpering coming from Noah's room.

Rachel sprinted to the room and froze when she reached the doorway. In the corner of the room, Noah sat with his baby sister in his arms, rocking slightly back and forth and nursing a bruise on his tear-stained cheek.

"Hey, Rach," he croaked before his lip quivered.

"Oh, Noah," Rachel breathed.

Hiram swiftly took Noah's sister and found Mrs. Puckerman in the bathroom sobbing into the rug.

"That bastard," she kept repeating over and over as Hiram tried to placate her.

While Leroy and Hiram tended to Noah's mother and sister, Rachel picked up her best friend and pulled him into his bed. Shaking, Noah clung to Rachel for support while she pulled off his shirt to find another bruise. She lay him down gently before moving to his dresser to grab his nightclothes. She had been in this room more times than she could count. Noah was her brother in every way possible. They had been with each other through everything. Rachel knew Noah better than anybody, and she was more than sure that he knew her better than herself.

Quickly, Rachel slipped Noah into his pajamas and underneath the covers. As she went to get some ice, a firm hand latched onto her wrist.

"Please don't leave me."

Rachel almost broke down then and there; but she couldn't. She had to be strong for Noah.

"Never."

After getting ice, shutting the lights off and closing the door, Rachel joined Noah underneath his Batman blankets. He curled into her body, and, as if someone flipped a switch, began sobbing uncontrollably. All Rachel could do was hold on and stroke his thick black hair while trying to ice his cheek. The sound of her brother in so much pain ripped Rachel's heart to shreds. Noah's body began to wrack viciously so Rachel held on tighter. Eventually she gave up on the ice altogether.

When the sobbing subsided and the night grew quieter, Rachel felt Noah shift in her arms.

"Rach?"

"Yes?"

"I-I just want you to know that I'm not gunna leave you. Not ever."

Rachel placed a kiss atop Noah's head. "I know, Noah."

She knew what he was going through to some extent. The empty feeling in his chest mimicked the one Quinn had left in hers at the tender age of eleven. She knew what it felt like to be left by the only person in her life that mattered. Quinn had a piece of her heart, and the wound she had left a year earlier had started to heal when she and Noah became closer; but nothing compared to this. Nothing compared to the pain Noah endured in her arms as the moonlight streamed in through his window.

Noah became Puck. The sweet and tender boy she had befriended in fifth grade morphed into a slushy-throwing bully overnight. He shaved his head. He began to work out at the gym. He joined football. He dated more girls than Rachel could count. By the time eighth grade rolled around, Noah Puckerman was a new person. When Rachel asked why the sudden change, Noah claimed that he had to become a man, that he had to grow up and take care of his family; but they both knew that was bullshit.

Rachel played along, and continued to be there for her best friend because even though Noah was becoming meaner and meaner, his love for Rachel never wavered. He never abandoned her. That promise they made to each other in seventh grade was never broken. Even when Noah had the opportunity for popularity and celebrity at McKinley, he turned it all away for her. He still took advantage of girls. He still bullied nerds, and dorks, and everybody else that fell in between. But, unlike Quinn, Noah Puckerman never abandoned Rachel Berry. Not ever.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

_July 18th, 2010 _

_Summer into Junior Year_

"_The moment your eyes open"_

* * *

><p>Lunch. Rachel could do lunch. Eating, drinking, small talk. Yeah, she could do lunch. The brunette slung her bag over her shoulder and began her walk towards the vegan place Quinn had suggested. She was shaking. Although she could have asked her parents to drive her, Rachel decided to spare herself the embarrassment. Dad would have stared the blonde down from afar. Her Daddy would have squealed in delight and tried to dive out of the car to strangle Quinn in one of his famous hugs. Yes, walking was definitely a good idea.<p>

The sun was high in the sky, a bright white orb beating down on the brunette as she trudged past the post office. Summer in Ohio could be brutal. Sweating lightly from her fifteen minute walk, Rachel arrived at the restaurant and peered at the menu. Everything looked delicious to her, but she worried for the blonde. She remembered that one time in Glee when she was pregnant with Beth and went off on Noah for not letting her eat bacon. Speaking of Quinn, her friend was currently sitting near the back of the front room with her hands in her lap. She wore a light blue sundress with a white shall, her hair still wet from her shower. Opening the door, Rachel walked across the room to their table. Quinn smiled warmly.

"Hey," Quinn said shyly, standing up awkwardly to...

_What is she doing?_

"Uh-good afternoon, Quinn," Rachel said shakily, pulling the chair out from the table to take a seat.

Quinn followed suit, and the two found themselves in quite a situation. Neither knew what to do next. Rachel, normally incapable of silencing herself, had no idea what to say. Small talk seemed too cliché.

"Gee, it is super hot out, isn't it?" Rachel gushed.

_Small talk it is. _

Quinn nodded. "Uh yeah. Supposed to get up to like 90 or something."

"How was work?" Rachel offered.

"Hm... well once you left it was pretty boring. I taught a few classes afterwards, did some paperwork. Nothing too bad."

"You teach?"

"Mhm," Quinn said as she took a sip of her water. "I teach a bunch of classes of young children ranging from three years old to around nine or ten."

Rachel smiled, peering around the room looking for a waiter. Her eyes landed on a tall, slim figure at the register. The boy turned around and immediately recognized Rachel. And then she saw it, that dopey smile she fell for a year ago.

"Rachel?" he asked as he left the counter to greet his girlfriend. When he saw who she was with he gaped in confusion. "Quinn?"

"Hudson," Quinn practically snarled.

The tension in the room was palpable. Quinn was furious. That oaf of a teenager was going to ruin her... outing with Rachel. She held back all insults, not wanting to offend Rachel. She was dating him for God's sake.

"Finn, uh, what are you doing here?" Rachel asked, shocked to find her normally carnivorous boyfriend at the newest vegan restaurant in town.

"Well, Rach, I know how much you like this veganny stuff so I decided to check this place out. My mom has a coupon from the paper. It'd be a nice place for a date, huh?" he prompted, wiggling his thick eyebrows.

Quinn practically gagged, hating his effort to please his girlfriend.

"How sweet of you!" Rachel praised her boyfriend with a smile, not oblivious to Quinn's obvious discomfort. "And it's called vegan, Finn."

"Oh."

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Uh, Finn, I hate to be rude but I'm here with Quinn and you've sort of interrupted our...lunch."

Finn blinked, eyes flickering over to his ex. "Oh, uh, right. Sorry bout that. I'll be out of your way. I'll text you later, Rach," he said, pecking Rachel on the lips.

With that, the quarterback was off, the doorbell jingling behind him. Quinn rolled her eyes once more, but felt triumphant. She had beaten him to the task of taking his girlfriend out to the only vegan place in town. Rachel cleared her throat.

"Well, that was..." she began.

"Awkward," Quinn finished.

"Yeah."

Thankfully their waiter came to take their orders just in time.

"I'll let you handle this, Rachel," Quinn said, looking at the menu as if it was written in another language.

The brunette smiled and ordered them the safest options on the menu. Once the man was gone, Rachel turned to Quinn who still looked irked by Finn's interruption.

"I'm sorry about Finn. I had no idea he'd be here," Rachel apologized.

"Why are you apologizing?" Quinn said with a quirk of her lips. "It's not your fault. I'm glad he at least kind of remembered that you're vegan."

"I know, but to be honest it seems like you guys haven't... resolved your issues yet," Rachel offered, choosing her words with care.

"I've found avoiding him to be much more effective than resolving our issues. Finn isn't exactly easy to talk to."

A tense silence lingered. Rachel began to worry there was something wrong with her.

"Look, I need to say something before this gets even more awkward. I'm sorry I'm being weird, it's just that I want to do this right. It's why I'm so nervous right now, okay? I don't want to- to mess this up," Quinn blurted, blushing profusely.

Rachel's heart swelled. Seeing Quinn vulnerable made her much less intimidating.

"Well, you are doing great so far," she said with a grin, "Not many people would willingly eat vegan food with me. The combination has been said to be lethal."

"Oh really?" Quinn challenged, "Bring it on."

The brunette giggled. Within minutes, the tension melted away. Their food came quickly, being that they were two of the five customers in the store. Quinn gulped as she looked at the items on their table.

"Don't worry," Rachel reassured, "I ordered the safest options on the menu."

"Alright, Berry, but I swear if I die from this," Quinn picked up a piece of tofu with a scowl, "you're paying for my funeral."

Rachel laughed, the sound music to Quinn's ears.

"Well maybe if you trust me a bit, Miss Fabray, you'll find that that piece of tofu is your favorite food."

"Yeah right," Quinn mumbled, picking at her salad.

Slowly and dramatically, Quinn placed a bit of tofu onto her fork. Taking a tentative bite, Quinn moaned the instant it hit her tongue.

"Oh my God," she sighed shoveling down another mouthful.

"Told you so," Rachel teased, earning a classic Fabray eye roll.

"So, Quinn, why lifeguarding?" Rachel asked, taking a spoonful of her squash soup.

Quinn swallowed. "Uh, Santana convinced me. See, Coach Sylvester's cheer camp got cut since Figgins decided to finally lay down the law. We were pretty bored so Santana pushed me to get a job. The pool wanted instructors and guards, and I'm a good swimmer. Perfect fit."

Rachel nodded. "It's an honorable profession."

Quinn snorted. "Oh please, I sit in a chair all day and watch old people swim back and forth. I wouldn't call that honorable."

"Well I would," Rachel declared stubbornly.

"Alright well it's good to know that someone appreciates my job. Most of the time I'm getting yelled at by old people to get them a kick board. But enough about me, what about you?" Quinn inquired. "What have you been up to this summer?"

Rachel went quiet a bit, thinking how to answer a seemingly easy question. "I've been keeping up with my singing training and such. I finished my summer school work last week. And uh, Finn and I have been dating so..."

Rachel didn't want to talk about Finn with Quinn. She was his ex. How insensitive would it be if she were to begin complaining about her relationship with a boy Quinn herself had dated? Finn was a good guy when he wanted to be, but lately Rachel felt unsatisfied. They texted, but his inability to spell and write coherent sentences annoyed her beyond belief. He took her out to Breadstix once, but he forgot she was vegan and ordered her meatballs. He invited her over to play video games, but Rachel had never touched a controller before in her life and therefore was thoroughly bored. She tried valiantly to engage him in intellectual conversation and tried even harder to flirt and be romantic, but her efforts were fruitless. Finn liked sports and video games and bacon pizza. Rachel liked Broadway shows and romance and vegan dark chocolate.

"So?" Quinn asked, pushing around the spinach on her plate.

"So I'm very happy," Rachel said, putting on her best show face.

"Are you?" Quinn asked softy.

Rachel was taken aback by the quality of Quinn's voice. She didn't seem happy that Rachel's relationship was tanking. She seemed concerned... about her.

"Finn is a great guy. He opens doors, and, and he texts me sometimes, and-,"

The brunette was cut off by a soft hand that had taken up residence on top of hers. Rachel's breath caught in her throat, the touch setting her on fire.

"I don't want you to feel like you need to act happy for me, Rachel," Quinn looked at their hands nervously. "When I said I wanted to do this right, I meant our friendship. I want my best friend back. I miss you, the old you, the old us, and I want just us to be honest with each other, okay? I dated Finn. I know it's not... easy to be with him."

Rachel nodded, trying not to freak out over the fact that Quinn wanted to be best friends again, and took a deep breath. "I just feel- I feel like- He's not," Rachel sighed, "I guess I'm a little disappointed that's all."

Quinn's hand never wavered.

"Disappointed with what?"

"I don't know. I just want him to be more romantic, and smarter, and more aware of who I am and what I need. And I try not to be clingy or annoying, but then I always end up feeling paranoid that I'm annoying him and it's hard because I am admittedly high maintenance, but he is just too-"

"Simple?" Quinn offered.

"Yes!" Rachel exclaimed. "That's it! He's too simple. I care about him a lot. I do. I'm going to be patient with him. I mean he came here because he remembered that I'm vegan. He's making an effort."

Quinn smiled sadly, moving her hand off of Rachel's. Rachel's excuses for Finn had been hers at one point. It was obvious to her that Rachel needed more, but it wasn't Quinn's place to tell her that.

"You know, maybe he'll get better, Quinn."

"Maybe. What would make it better, though?"

Rachel thought for a moment. "Just, the little things I guess. Remembering that I don't eat animals. Calling me to say goodnight before bed. Spelling things right when he texts me. Taking me places other than Breadstix and the bowling alley. Coming to my house more to talk to my dads. Remembering my favorite movies and foods and everything. I want him to remember everything. Is that too much to ask?"

Quinn knew it wasn't too much to ask. That was what a boyfriend was supposed to do.

"No, Rachel. You deserve all of that. You deserve more than that."

Rachel's cheeks turned a deep scarlet. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to just go off like that. I am normally much more professional and coherent. I shouldn't complain about Finn. He's not all bad. I'm sorry."

"Again with the apologizing," Quinn complained with a grin.

"Sorry," Rachel said bashfully.

Quinn rolled her eyes playfully. The two lapsed into lighter conversation, and an hour later there was not a crumb left on any of their plates. Quinn leaned back in her chair and smiled brightly.

"I hate to admit it, Berry, but that stuff was pretty good. Who knew you hippies could cook?"

Rachel feigned offense. "I resent being called a hippie. Tree hugger is the more appropriate term for us, Quinn."

"Fine," Quinn said sardonically. "Who knew you tree huggers could cook?"

Rachel smiled, pleased. "This was really fun, Quinn. Thanks for taking me here. It was fantastic."

The blonde blushed slightly. "It was my pleasure. Thanks for... for letting me take you here."

Quinn's confidence faltered as her eyes fell to the tablecloth. "Uh, so what are you doing after this?"

Rachel bit her lip, hoping Quinn wanted to spend more time with her.

"My schedule is clear. Why?"

Quinn paused, searching for the right words. "Well I was wondering if maybe you'd want to catch a movie or something?"

Rachel beamed. "I'd love to."

-/-

The theater was pitch black. A low murmur of chatter traveled throughout the room. As the screen brightened to show the first preview, Quinn turned her head slightly to see the girl she was with. The green light emanating from the screen made Rachel's skin glow more than usual, her brown eyes reflecting the shitty action movie preview playing in front of them. The blonde was taken aback. With a smile, she shifted nervously in her seat.

They hadn't declared this outing a date. Rachel was with Finn after all. Quinn sighed. No, it was merely two friends going out to lunch and a movie... as friends, but it didn't feel like that. It felt like a date. Quinn had opened all of the doors, paid for their lunch and their movie tickets. Rachel had blushed at all of the above gestures, timidly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear each time Quinn did something chivalrous. Rachel's words, not Quinn's.

Now the lights had fully dimmed, and the movie was beginning. Quinn felt Rachel's body tense with excitement next to her, and she smiled at her childlike wonder. Suddenly, she was hyper aware of everything the brunette did. The feel of their shoulders just touching set her on fire, so she clenched her legs together and tried to focus on the movie. The attempt was futile. Moments later Rachel's bare thigh brushed against hers. Quinn shivered.

Sitting there with Rachel, Quinn felt... itchy. It was the only way she could describe it. She just wanted to touch her so badly, but those damn armrests were in her way. And the brunette had pulled her arms to her chest tightly, preventing Quinn from grabbing her hand. So the first hour of the movie was spent not watching the film, but rather feeling Rachel. Every breath, every movement was amplified in the intimacy of the dark theater. Quinn's heart was racing. Each beat seemed to vibrate through her entire body. She prayed that Rachel couldn't hear it.

Quinn couldn't take it anymore. She had to hold her hand. Friend zone be damed; she needed to feel that smooth hand in hers. Timing it just right, as the two lovers on screen shared their first kiss, Quinn slipped her hand into Rachel's effortlessly. The grin that spread on the blonde's face was explosive. Trying to contain her excitement, Quinn gave the soft hand in hers a squeeze. In the corner of her eye she saw Rachel smiling just as brightly. She wasn't sure if the smile was because of the sickeningly sweet scene on the screen or because Quinn's thumb just grazed over the back of her hand, but she'd take it. Rachel's smiled, and there was a chance it was because of her. Quinn was fine with that. It was miles better than being the cause of Rachel's tears.

Neither of them could let go. When they laughed, they squeezed each other. When they cried, Quinn laid her other hand atop of Rachel's forearm. The warmth that they felt was indescribable. They reveled in it. As the couple on screen was ripped apart by could-have-beens and misfortune, Quinn watched in awe as tears streamed down the brunette's face. Movies never affected Quinn that much, but watching Rachel so wrapped up in the epic romance made Quinn want to crawl into a ball and cry. Instead, she squeezed Rachel's hand harder and rubbed her forearm gently. The brunette curled as far as she could into Quinn.

_Damn armrest. _

They fit perfectly together, Quinn and Rachel with the exception of that pesky armrest. Melding into one another, the girls lost themselves in the film, but mostly in each other.

And then the movie was over. The credits rolled slowly up the screen, name after name gliding past in bright white letters over a black background. Their hands were still entwined and clearly visible without the comforting shroud of darkness. Quinn turned to face her reluctantly, eyes dropping to their hands. She didn't want to let go. Rachel simply looked into her eyes and her gaze never wavered. Around them, fellow moviegoers were getting up, stretching, and picking up their empty popcorn bags and soda bottles. They saw none of it. The low murmur of chatter returned as each audience member reviewed the movie. Quinn and Rachel heard none of it.

The girls stayed silent, staring.

"That was a good movie," Quinn finally whispered, breaking the silence.

Rachel nodded, completely rendered speechless by the blonde. Her hair fell in waves, framing her make-up-less face. Those eyes, those mesmerizing eyes, made everything melt away. She heard nothing but the sound of her heart beating, not even the sounds of feet crunching on spilled popcorn or the crowd of people shuffling towards the restrooms.

Then her phone vibrated in her pocket, and she snapped out of her daze. Answering the phone meant letting go of Quinn. Her hand instantly cooled.

"Oh," she said, pulling out the device. "That would be my dad."

Quinn smiled knowingly, checking her own phone as well. Her mother had texted her to let her know that she was outside when she was ready and that she would take Rachel home.

"Wait, Rach," Quinn interrupted. "My mom can drive you, if you want."

Brown eyes widened, then immediately softened. "Okay, well tell her thank you very much."

Nodding, Quinn sent a thank you text. Now that the theater was empty, the girls got out of their seats to stretch. Letting Rachel out of the aisle first, Quinn followed faithfully yet protectively even though there was nothing to protect Rachel from. Side by side, they walked out of the theater and back into reality. The new wave of moviegoers streamed into the lobby, purchasing tickets and snacks while young children tugged at their parents to give them quarters to try their luck at a conned crane machine.

Once outside, Quinn spotted her mother's car parked a block from the theater. Eagerly exiting the car, the elder blonde waved with a smile until she saw Rachel. Judy simply couldn't believe her eyes. That once plump baby brunette in a one-piece bathing suit with the winning smile had morphed into a beautiful young woman. Judy greeted Rachel warmly, locking her in an airtight hug.

"Rachel, honey! It's so nice to see you! Oh my goodness you are so grown up!"

Quinn's embarrassment skyrocketed. Judy released Rachel who wore a watery smile.

"It's so nice to see you, Mrs. Fabray," she responded politely.

"I never want to hear you call me that again. It's Judy and you know it."

Rachel laughed, and followed the pair of blondes to the car. Quinn and Rachel slid into the back seat, while Judy took the wheel.

"How are your fathers, Rachel?" Judy asked as she drove towards the Berry residence.

"They are doing well! They just got home from a little weekend getaway. Daddy is still writing, and Dad is still working at the hospital. How have you been?"

"I've been well, thanks!" Judy said with a smile. "Quinnie and I have been redecorating and cleaning out the house. It's some project, I'll tell you that."

"Well if you ever need help I'd be happy to offer my assistance. I love decorating," Rachel offered.

"I just might have to take you up on that offer."

Quinn smiled as her mother pulled into Rachel's driveway. Hiram opened the front door, Leroy trailing closely behind, and ran down the walkway.

"Judy!" he called loudly.

The woman killed the engine and hopped out of the car.

"Hiram!" she called back, running into a firm embrace.

Quinn looked over to the brunette who was grinning brightly. Leroy look skeptical, but chuckled softly. His hesitance did not go unnoticed. The girls got out of the car together.

"Daddy, I think you're hurting her!" Rachel teased.

Hiram released Judy, tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, love, it's just been so long!"

Judy laughed. "Too long! I wish we had time to stay, but I have to make sure that I didn't burn dinner. Please give us a call! We need to catch up!"

Leroy nodded, tugging his husband back to the house. "We'll be sure to do that, Judy."

Quinn pulled Rachel aside behind the car. "Did you have fun?"

Rachel nodded, shyly tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Sure will," Quinn said with a smile.

"Maybe- maybe you'd want to come over tomorrow? We could hang out in the backyard or something?" Rachel stammered.

"That sounds great. I'll be over around one?"

"Perfect."

They smiled in unison, not sure what to do next. Rachel's arms itched to hug the blonde, but she wasn't sure. Was that what friends did? Before she could make a decision, Quinn wrapped her up into her arms. Rachel couldn't help the sigh that escaped her lips. She just felt so complete in the embrace. Her head tucked perfectly into Quinn's shoulder.

They pulled away reluctantly and said their goodbyes. Quinn watched from the front seat as Leroy wrapped a protective arm around her shoulder. Neither of them really could believe what had happened. Literally a few months ago they were enemies turned indifferent, and now they were eating lunch together, and going to the movies together, and holding hands in the dark during a shitty romantic comedy Rachel had picked out.

"Did you have fun?" Judy asked with a knowing smile.

Quinn still was in a daze, Rachel's scent overwhelming her senses.

"Huh?" she mumbled, face pressed against the window watching Rachel's house get smaller and smaller.

"Did you have fun with Rachel?" her mother repeated.

"Oh!" Quinn blushed. "Uh, yeah. It was really fun actually."

Quinn's phone buzzed in her pocket. Startled by the movement, Quinn jumped a bit before checking the device.

_I had a lovely time, Quinn. Thanks again :) -Rachel _

Quinn beamed, quickly typing her response.

**Me too. You think we should make a habit of this? -Quinn**

Her heart was pounding in her chest suddenly. What was getting into her? The response came less than a minute later.

_I'd like nothing more :) -Rachel_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

_August 5th, 2005_

_Summer into 6th Grade_

"_I saw something in the way you Stared into the sky the first of many lies"_

* * *

><p>A cool breeze lightly ruffled Quinn's hair as it splayed against her trampoline. The leaves swayed with the beat of the wind, hypnotizing the blonde. Dressed in a pair of casual shorts and her favorite lime green t-shirt, Quinn transported herself back to third grade when she had dragged her father to the local toy store. She clearly remembered begging her father to buy the trampoline for her for her eighth birthday. As always, Quinn batted her long lashes, gave her old man the puppy eyes, and within fifteen minutes the trampoline was in the trunk of their car ready to be assembled. Now, three years later, Quinn lost herself in the trees above her head and in the deep blue sky that peeped through the green leaves, thankful for the gift.<p>

"What's it like having two daddies?" Quinn asked the girl lying next to her with honest curiosity.

Rachel grinned, leaning on one arm to face the blonde. "I love it."

"What do you guys do?"

"Lots of things! We go swimming at the pool together. Sometimes we'll dance around to Broadway music in the kitchen or play board games. My Daddy and I really like musicals so we watch them together and sing songs together all the time!"

Quinn bit her lip. "That all sounds really fun but... do you ever... wish you had a mommy?"

Rachel's eyes darkened, but within a second they returned to their normal chocolate brown.

"Sometimes. I guess it would be nice, but I love my Daddies just fine."

Quinn nodded and looked up to the clouds. "Your daddies are really cool."

"What about your daddy, Quinn?"

The blonde stiffened slightly. She loved her daddy, but sometimes she didn't understand him. She didn't understand a lot of the things he made her do, but she had no say in the matter. He loved her when she was a good girl. Quinn never talked about her parents with her other friends, but Rachel wasn't like her other friends.

"My daddy... he likes it when I do good in school. And he likes it when I go to church and when I dress nice and when I say please and thank you."

"Does he tuck you in at night?" Rachel asked curiously.

"No. Daddy works so he's too busy."

"Oh," Rachel murmured, putting her weight off of her arm and onto her back. "Does he read you stories? Or is he too busy for that too?"

"Too busy," Quinn mumbled.

"Can I meet him one day?"

"No!" Quinn snapped loudly, startling the brunette beside her. She instantly regretted losing her temper.

Rachel tore her eyes away from Quinn in favor of the sky, trying not to act hurt. Turning onto her stomach, Quinn took in Rachel who currently was gazing up into the clouds. They were only a few inches a part, but suddenly it felt like there was an ocean separating them. Rachel's light pink skirt spread across the trampoline, and her hands rested on her chest. Though her expression seemed neutral, Quinn read the brunette's eyes easily. Instantly spotting the sadness, Quinn reached out to touch her friend. Rachel sighed.

"I'm sorry, Rach."

"It's okay. Thanks for having me over, Quinn," she said softly, her eyes still on the bright blue sky.

Quinn rested her hand on Rachel's bare arm. The touch sent shivers down the brunette's spine.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you came," Quinn replied sincerely, retracting her hand.

As another wind passed through, an uncomfortable silence settled over the two girls. Rachel's eyes were anchored to a puffy cloud floating overhead. Rachel wasn't stupid. Over the course of six years their friendship had made little progress. It was like taking three steps forward and then seventeen steps back. One day they were goofing around at the pool, diving deep for treasure or battling the Loch Ness Monster, the next day it was as if they had never met. This night and day aspect of their friendship was taking a toll on both girls, especially Rachel.

She was horribly confused. Why didn't Quinn want to be her friend at school? Yes, she had Noah who made her feel very happy, but she still felt as if there was something wrong with her. Yet, at swim lessons Quinn would be there smiling, holding her hand, and giggling at utter nonsense. It was too much for her young mind to understand, and Rachel didn't know how to feel. Most of the time she just wanted Quinn to acknowledge her, but as she laid next to her supposed friend all she felt was heartache.

Rachel wanted to ask Quinn point blank why she was ignoring her, why in school Rachel wasn't worthy of her attention but here in her backyard they were friends. The only thing holding her back was her fear of losing the blonde. Even though they had drifted since Rachel met Noah, Rachel was still lucky enough to sort of have Quinn in her life. Then there was always the possibility that Rachel was just crazy. She wasn't used to having friends, and maybe there was just something wrong with her. No one at school, save for Noah, who had just as few friends as she had, gave her the time of day. There had to be a reason. Maybe Quinn knew.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked suddenly, turning her attention away from the sky and to the blonde close to her.

"Yes?"

"What's wrong with me?" Rachel's voice was small and insecure.

Quinn gaped. "What are you talking about?"

Rachel's eyes welled with tears, but she bit them back as best as she could.

"I don't have any friends."

A pang of guilt pierced Quinn's heart. She had been dreading this conversation.

"Did I do something wrong?" Rachel asked desperately, fully facing Quinn now, tears running freely.

"No, no," Quinn reassured, "You didn't do anything wrong."

Rachel sniffled and threw her hands up, exasperated and sick of the confusion.

"Then why?" she cried.

Quinn quickly pulled her friend into her arms, trying to comfort her as best as she could. How could she tell her only real friend the reason why all of her peers, Quinn included, refused to be her friend? She felt sick with guilt and didn't want to lie.

"It's because you're too good for every single person at that school, Rachel," Quinn tried softly.

Gently, Quinn wiped Rachel's tears, swooping her thumb swiftly across Rachel's cheek.

"Even you?" Rachel whimpered.

Quinn nodded, tears rapidly forming in her eyes. Rachel had always had it better than she did. The brunette just didn't realize that yet.

"Even me."

A wave of nausea overcame the blonde, but she frantically pushed it away. She hated herself for making Rachel feel this way.

"I don't want to be made fun of, Quinn," Rachel admitted.

Still in Quinn's arms, Rachel sighed heavily and nuzzled closer into the blonde. Quinn winced but held onto Rachel tightly.

"I don't want you to be made fun of either," she whispered.

"And you're my friend, right?"

Quinn pulled Rachel in closer. "Of course I am, silly."

She felt the petite brunette sigh in her arms, the relief she felt spreading to Quinn as well.

"So you won't make fun of me?" Rachel asked, though it sounded like she was begging.

Then, at age ten, Quinn had no idea what the future would hold for her and Rachel. For all she knew, they would continue taking swim lessons and ignoring each other in school. She never in a million years would have guessed that in a few short years she would begin to bully her friend and slushie her and call her demeaning names in front of the whole school. The very thought of hurting Rachel made Quinn want to vomit.

"Never."

The two sat in the trampoline together for another hour before Leroy and Hiram pulled Rachel out with much force to take her home. Quinn bore a watery smile when Rachel waved shyly as she was dragged to the car.

Hopping off of the trampoline, Quinn made her way inside. The air was warm, but the sky was darkening as night approached. Her daddy would be home soon, and she needed to help her mother with dinner.

As she slid open the back door, she was was blindsided by her older sister. Leslie dragged her up the stairs and into Quinn's room, slamming the door behind them.

"What are you doing?" Leslie asked incredulously, still grasping tightly onto Quinn's arm, her nails digging into Quinn's skin.

"I-I," Quinn stuttered, completely confused, "What are you talking about, Les?"

The elder blonde rolled her eyes and let go of her sister.

"Don't play stupid, Quinn."

Quinn stared blankly with genuine confusion at her sister unable to answer her question.

"Mind telling me why Rachel Berry was here, and why you were hugging her on the trampoline?"

Quinn's eyes widened and stomach dropped. Her mother told her that Leslie was sleeping over at a friend's house, and that her daddy was working late. It was the only reason she was allowed to invite Rachel over in the first place. She hadn't told Leslie about her friendship with Rachel. It was a decision she had made the day she met the brunette, and for six years with her mother's help she had hidden it perfectly. Neither Russell nor Leslie knew of Quinn's friendship. Now Quinn had to somehow explain to Leslie why Rachel was at their house. She stalled.

"I thought you were sleeping over at Dana's house?" Quinn asked, trying to change the subject in vain.

"Her grandmother's visiting. Didn't want to intrude. And don't you dare try and change the subject, troll," Leslie growled.

For the most part, Quinn and Leslie avoided each other. Aside from family events and dinners and church, Quinn never really saw her sister. In Russell's eyes, Leslie could do no wrong. She was the golden child, and Quinn was her often-forgotten younger sister. Quinn had always been afraid of her elder sister. They were so far apart in age that the two girls never really felt a strong connection. By the time Quinn had turned ten, Leslie was already in her senior year of high school. The elder blonde had no time for petty, unimportant things like little sisters.

Leslie's shadow always loomed overhead, and Quinn was compared to her sister in almost everything she did. Her parents expected her to be exactly as perfect and successful as Leslie was. To say she had big shoes to fill would be an understatement. It was more like she had to fill a six-foot-tall pair of rain boots.

"Uh, well, I- she's, uhm, she's... she's... she's-," Quinn choked out, the fear of her sister's anger strangling her.

"She's what?" Leslie practically yelled with impatience.

"She's my friend," Quinn yelled back, furious at her sister for patronizing her. She was ten, not two.

"You're friends with Rachel Berry?" Leslie asked doubtfully with a quirk of the eyebrow.

Quinn diverted her eyes. "Yes," she said softly, humiliation laced in her scared voice.

"You do know about her parents, right?" Leslie asked condescendingly, walking confidently towards her baby sister.

"You mean her dads? What about them?"

"Oh, you are too cute. You really don't know?" Leslie laughed, pitying her younger sister's ignorant bliss.

Once again, Quinn gave Leslie a confused puppy look. Her insides were boiling, yet Quinn still was too afraid to unleash her anger. Like a predator about to pounce on its prey, Leslie licked her lips and prepared herself for the crushing.

"Well, you see Rachel's parents are homosexuals."

Quinn blinked.

"You don't know what homosexuals are?"

The young girl shook her head.

"When two men love each other, like a woman and a man should love each other, those men are called homosexuals. God hates the homosexuals because they can't make babies like a woman and a man can. What they do is completely disgusting. So you know what God does to homosexuals?"

"What?" Quinn gasped.

"He sends them straight... to... hell!" Leslie screamed, causing Quinn to shriek, falling back onto her bed and straight into her pillow.

Laughing manically, Leslie grasped her sister firmly by the t-shirt.

"You know, I would hate for Dad to find out about you tainting the Fabray name by hanging around with homosexuals and their daughter. He'd probably have a heart attack from the disappointment. Do you want to disappoint your father, Quinn? Mom and Dad have worked hard to give us everything we want. Don't mess it up, got it?"

Leslie's words were like a virus, spreading into Quinn's mind and festering quickly. Disappointment? If there was one thing Quinn feared most it was disappointing her father, letting him down after all he had given her to succeed. It was the only thing he ever asked of her, really. Swallowing down her fear, Quinn looked her sister straight in the eye. She wasn't going down without a fight. It wasn't in her nature to not fight back.

"Or what?" she asked defiantly, trying to look braver than she actually felt.

Leslie's eyes bore into her sister looking a threatening shade of red-tinted hazel. They flickered down to her sister's hands that were shaking uncontrollably. She smiled.

Quinn gulped thickly.

"It's your funeral."

With that, the slender blonde released her sister and left. As Quinn heard her sister quietly pad down the stairs, her mind raced in a frenzy. Frantically, Quinn ran down the stairs, past the kitchen, and out into the backyard. She jumped onto the trampoline and laid onto her back.

What was she going to do? If Leslie saw her with Rachel ever again, Quinn would be dead. Her father would be disappointed and furious. She didn't know what tainting the Fabray name meant, but she was pretty sure it wasn't anything to brag about. Her insides were churning with guilt and dread.

Her sister was going to be picking her up from school this year, now that she had her own car. Since her father had picked up more hours at the office, Leslie had no say in the matter. Neither girl was looking forward to the experience, but now Quinn was terrified. Even if she wanted to talk to Rachel after school, there was a 99.99% chance that Leslie would see her. She couldn't risk it. She couldn't risk disappointing her parents. She couldn't risk painting the Fabray name. Suddenly, losing Rachel wasn't her biggest problem. Letting down her family suddenly outweighed the possibility of losing Rachel for good.

Quinn felt like throwing up. Quickly, she hoisted herself out of the trampoline and bounded up the stairs back to her room. She pulled up the covers and buried herself deep inside. Tears overflowed, a pair of twin rivers flowing down her porcelain cheeks. She had to do something before her heart ripped into a million pieces.

Clutching onto her elephant, Quinn curled herself into a ball. A sob escaped, wracking through her delicate frame. She almost didn't hear the knock on the door over her crying, but the instant she did she shot out of bed like a deer in headlights.

"Quinnie?" her mother asked with a questioning look.

Quinn swiped away at her tears and threw her elephant back into the bed. Smoothing out her shorts, the blonde slid out of bed and walked towards her mother. Her eyes were puffy, her lip was quivering, and she was held together by only her will to please her parents.

"Yes?"

Judy placed a calming hand on her trembling daughter's shoulder. Almost breaking, Quinn placed her hand on top of her mother's hand.

"Are you okay, honey?" her mother asked, worry painting over her features.

"I'm fine, Mom," Quinn lied.

Her mother didn't buy it, not for a second, but the way her daughter was looking at her made her accept the fib.

"Well, come on then. Dinner's ready, and your father just pulled into the driveway."

Taking Quinn's hand, Judy pulled Quinn down the stairs to the dinner table where they met Russell and Leslie. For the first time, when Quinn looked at her father and sister, Quinn saw almost the same person. They both smiled somewhat dementedly at her with piercing hazel eyes. Quinn tried to breath normally.

The four sat down, said grace, and began to eat the meal Judy had slaved over all day. Quinn was anything but hungry, but picked at her plate nonetheless.

"So, Quinnie," her father asked through a mouthful of ham, "what did you do today, sweetheart?"

Judy stiffened. Leslie laughed quietly. "Yeah, Quinn, what did you do today?"

Quinn chewed her food, taking her time before she formulated an acceptable response.

"I helped Mommy and went on the trampoline."

Russell smiled. "I am glad you're putting that piece of junk to use. Still can't believe you got me to buy it, you little minx," he teased lightly, taking a swig of brandy.

"Judy," Russell began, turning to his wife who was downing a glass of wine, "when do Quinnie's swim lessons start up again?"

Swallowing, Quinn's mother smiled. "I signed her up for the fall session. She'll start in September. I think it begins the first week."

"Dad," Leslie purred, "don't you think Quinn's a bit too old for these lessons? I mean I only took them for a few years, but I stopped before 5th grade."

Russell digested this thought before talking. "Hm, that is true. What do you think Judy?"

"Well, I don't think one more year would do her any harm..."

Leslie shook her head. "Mom, I think if Quinn wants to be a Cheerio, she'll need to focus on her running abilities, not her swimming skills."

"She's got a point, Jude," Russell agreed.

"But I don't want to stop," Quinn added softly, knowing her opinion didn't really matter.

By the end of the night it was decided that Quinn would stop attending swim lessons in favor of training with her older sister for the Cheerios. Russell and Judy kissed the girls goodnight at around nine. Quinn dragged herself up the stairs and headed straight for the bathroom where she brushed her teeth quickly. When she opened the door, her sister scared her out of her skin.

"Les!" she cried, jumping an inch off of the ground.

"Hey, sis. Don't mind me, I'll be in the shower."

Quinn nodded and brushed past her sister into her bedroom. Although the room was small, it was all hers and served as her haven. Once Leslie turned fourteen, she demanded for a room of her own. Within a month the spare bedroom had been transformed into Quinn's room while Leslie got their bigger old room. The walls were a soft yellow with a wood floor. Her single bed resided by the window looking out onto the backyard.

Pacing, Quinn tried desperately to figure out how she was going to fix the Rachel problem. How would she tell Rachel that she wouldn't be going to swim lessons anymore? On the verge of more tears, Quinn plopped onto her bed face down. She was devastated. The one place she could be herself was at the pool with Rachel. Heart in two, Quinn suddenly got an idea.

She raced to her desk where she pulled out a piece of paper and her favorite pen. Scribbling furiously, Quinn decided she would write to Rachel a note explaining everything. For the rest of the night, the blonde poured her heart out through a pink pen until she couldn't see straight. When she finally tumbled into bed, Quinn burrowed into her blankets. Her heart was aching, aching for Rachel. She clutched onto Elle until she drifted into an uneasy sleep, pretending that the stuffed animal in her arms was her best friend.


	13. Chapter 13

** Chapter 13**  
><em> September 7th, 2010<em>  
><em> Junior Year<em>  
><em> "Think about the day she found you"<em>

* * *

><p>Quinn had made a habit of sleeping over at Rachel's house during the summer. Since neither of the girls had much to do, summer proved the perfect time for their budding friendship to grow. Some days, Quinn would show up in the morning with bagels and a few movies. Others, Rachel would go over Quinn's to make dinner with Judy, bringing nothing but her infectious laugh and smile. Trips to their favorite vegan spot for lunch became so frequent that the owner, Todd, knew the girls by name and knew their orders. The girls quickly forgot their rocky past and focused on the moments they had together in the present.<p>

Within the span of two months, Rachel learned more about Quinn than she had known in a lifetime. They spent late nights in Rachel's bed, curled up into each other, whispering their secrets, their pasts, and their dreams for the future.

Being with Quinn was easier than breathing. One moment they could be silly, bantering back and forth or debating the importance of one owning a bedazzler. The next they could be serious, talking for hours in each other's arms and pouring their hearts out. There was so much to learn about Quinn. She wanted to know everything, her favorite color, her favorite food, how she took her coffee, etc. By the end of the summer, Rachel was no less eager to learn about Quinn, even though she had discovered so much already.

Leroy and Hiram dropped their inhibitions the day Quinn came over with a tray of "I'm sorry" cookies not to see Rachel but to see them. She easily fit in with the Berrys, belting Broadway tunes with the goofy family as they cooked dinner.

Two months. It took two months for Quinn to fully regain Rachel's trust. It took a week for Leroy and Hiram to accept Quinn back into their family, but only minutes to love her as one of their own. It took two weeks for Judy to offer a family gathering at her house, but only seconds to squeeze the air out of Leroy, Hiram, and Rachel.

Quinn started off the summer in a daze. Still numb from the trauma of giving up her child, the blonde merely tolerated her life as best she could, finding small joys in runs with Santana and the giggles of her students. Now she had a family. She had a best friend and two new fathers who loved her more than she could ever imagine.

As the days wore on, Rachel became more immersed in Quinn. The moments spent together overwhelmed her to the point where she had forgotten about her boyfriend. Luckily, the quarterback had gone on a camping trip with Burt Hummel, and Rachel had escaped having to explain why she hadn't been answering his texts, mainly because there was no service wherever they were camping.

On the night before the first day of school, Rachel invited Quinn to stay the night. Sleeping bag in hand, Quinn arrived just in time for dinner.

"Quinn!" Rachel had squealed with a grin, throwing the sleeping bag on the floor to take up the blonde in her arms.

"Rachel!" Quinn laughed back, crushed by Rachel's forceful yet loving hug.

Beaming, Rachel took Quinn's hand and dragged her eagerly into the kitchen.

"Did I hear a Quinn enter our house, Lee?" Hiram asked with a wide grin as he set the table.

Leroy chuckled, dishing out the take out they had ordered onto serving plates. Without warning, a pair of slender arms wrapped around his middle, causing him to jump spastically.

"You sure did," Quinn whispered, squeezing the tall man tightly.

"Good evening, Quinn," Leroy greeted, turning around to fully hug her.

Rachel giggled, going over to the table to make sure everything was perfect. Her heart was light. Once the table setting was approved by one Rachel Berry, the four sat down to the table. Hiram raised his glass up in the air, ready to propose a toast.

"To Quinn and Rachel, may their first day of school be absolutely wonderful!"

Both girls laughed, clinking their glasses of water against the men's glasses of wine.

"So girls what's the plan for tonight?" Leroy inquired, taking a bite of the vegan meal his daughter had ordered behind his back.

"Well," Rachel began, "I have a lovely evening planned for me and Quinn. First, we shall enjoy this delicious meal. Then, we'll go upstairs, shower and such, get in our pajamas and watch whatever movie Quinn picks since it's her turn."

"No it's not," Quinn protested through a mouthful of tofu, "I picked yesterday. It's your turn, Rach."

Rachel bit back a grin; her cheeks flushed a light red. "Big mistake, Fabray. Looks like we'll be watching all three High School Musical films, analyzing each actor's talent and then learning every single dance."

Quinn's eyes widened as she dropped her fork dramatically. "You wouldn't."

"Oh yes. Yes, I think I would," Rachel confirmed with a wicked grin, popping a pepper into her mouth.

Groaning, Quinn shoveled down more food. Leroy and Hiram observed the banter with knowing smiles. Leroy reached over to Quinn and patted her back.

"Good luck with this one, darling."

Rachel feigned offense for a few seconds before she broke into uncontrollable laughter once Quinn began to play footsies with her underneath the table.

"Quinn!" she shrieked.

"Yes, Miss Berry?" Quinn asked innocently with a quirk of her eyebrow.

"Would... you... STOP... uh... would you mind... telling me... GOD... why you keep tickling me with your foot?" Rachel squirmed in her seat.

Leroy, Hiram and Quinn burst into laughter. It was a miracle that none of them choked. Finally, Quinn ceased the footsies in favor of breathing normally, trying to regain her composure.

"Oh, Rachel, did you tell Quinn that we could drive her to school tomorrow morning?" Hiram asked, containing his laughter.

Rachel nodded. "Well I did, but now I'm reconsidering. Maybe we should just let her put those incessant feet to good use and have her walk to school!"

"No!" Quinn whined.

"Say you're sorry, Quinn," Rachel ordered firmly.

"Uh, fine! I'm sorry, Rachel."

The brunette beamed triumphantly. "You are so whipped."

Quinn gaped, though internally she was loving the idea of being whipped to Rachel.

What?

After dinner, Quinn and Rachel raced up the stairs trying not to trip over each other as they tried to beat each other to the DVD player.

"No!" Quinn screamed when Rachel grabbed the High School Musical box set just as she was about to tackle the brunette to the ground.

"Victory!"

Quinn rolled her eyes and decided to tackle Rachel anyway. Their bodies collided in a giggling explosion as they both shrieked and squealed, tickling and laughing until their insides hurt. Somehow, don't ask Rachel, Quinn came to be straddling her. Rachel felt her heart jump to her throat. Blonde silky hair dangled before her face as a pair of striking hazel eyes peeped out from the golden locks. Rachel gulped, pushing away the thoughts she knew weren't appropriate. Her eyes went towards Quinn's lips just as Quinn ran her tongue over them.

Oh God is this what it's like for Finn when he needs to think of the mailman?

Panicking, Rachel slipped under Quinn's hips and made a bee line for the TV.

"Whose ready for some HSM?" she asked uneasily, her voice wavering on the word 'ready'.

Rachel could have sworn she heard Quinn sigh with frustration, but she probably just imagined it. Popping in the DVD, Rachel turned around and made her way to her queen-sized bed. Quinn smiled shyly when Rachel slid next to her so that their shoulders were just barely touching. It made the blonde buzz with warmth.

"Are you really going to make me watch this?" she asked softly, her bottom lip in between her teeth.

"Yes, yes I am," Rachel said with a grin, before she hit play.

At 12am, three movies later, Quinn laid awake with a sleeping brunette under her arm. Rachel had drifted off around "Gotta Go My Own Way," but Quinn decided to keep the movies playing because secretly she loved them. She looked down at Rachel, eyes trailing up from her tiny feet not even close to the foot of the bed, up past her slightly exposed stomach, ending at her serene face. Quinn smiled, letting her hand stroke Rachel's smooth brown curls. Rachel sighed before her eyes opened slowly.

"Hey, you," Quinn whispered.

Rachel flashed her a drowsy smile.

"What time is it?" she asked, blinking dramatically.

Quinn checked her phone. "Midnight."

"Oh..." Rachel mumbled quietly.

Not hesitating for a second, Quinn slipped her arm around Rachel's waist, pulling her closer into her to just feel her warmth, to feel her life.

"Quinn?"

"Mhm?"

"What's going to happen tomorrow?"

The blonde smiled. Rachel sounded so innocent; it melted her heart.

"Hm... we'll wake up. You'll go on your elliptical, and I'll help Lee make those vegan pancakes you love."

"Then what?"

"Patience, grasshopper," Quinn scolded playfully. "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," Rachel stuck out her tongue, "Hiram will drive us to school, probably around an hour before class even starts because if we are ever to complete that completely insane first day of school to-do list we'll need at least that much time."

"Will you walk me to my first class?" Rachel asked.

"Of course. I already ordered Santana to ban all slushy attacks on you. You'll never have to bring a spare set of clothes again while I'm around."

"Will-," Rachel stuttered, "Will you be head Cheerio again?"

Quinn shook her head with a smile, "No, ma'am. Santana Lopez has taken over that position. I am simply her bitch, as she so kindly put it."

Rachel giggled into Quinn's chest sending infectious vibrations through her frame.

"Anyway, I'll walk you to all of your classes. I'll protect you, Rach, always."

"My hero," Rachel hummed.

Blushing, Quinn continued. "Then after school we'll go to Glee practice. You'll knock our socks off with some impromptu performance you'll whip out of your back pocket and-,"

"Don't be silly, Quinn. I won't have any pockets tomorrow. You know this. I'll be wearing my new plaid skirt and puppy sweater."

"Excuse me," Quinn apologized sardonically. "You'll whip it out of your argyle binder. We'll all be amazed. I may even shed a tear."

"Only one tear, Quinn? After all of my hard work? No, I expect you to be bawling by the end of rehearsal."

Rolling her eyes, Quinn nodded. "Noted. So noted."

"Don't use that tone with me, Missy!" Rachel slapped the arm holding her in place playfully.

"Do you want to hear the rest of our day or not?" Quinn threatened.

When she heard Rachel mumble an apology, Quinn laughed heartily. "That's what I thought. Now, after rehearsal you'll go home, and I'll go to practice. Then, at around 9pm, you'll give me a call and tell me all about your riveting performance and incredible first day back, and I'll act as if I wasn't there for the majority of the time. Sound good?"

Rachel beamed and squeezed Quinn tightly. "You're perfect," she complimented through half-opened eyes.

"Nah, you're just sleepy."

Rachel pulled herself out of Quinn's arms and looked at her with honest eyes. "No, I mean it."

"Sure you do," Quinn teased, tossing back the covers so that Rachel could resume her position underneath her pink comforter.

Within minutes, Rachel was out like a light. Quinn could only smile as she spent the next half an hour staring at her best friend. With no make-up and a placid face, Rachel was striking. Santana had been egging her on about how she had the hots Rachel. At first she just thought Santana was doing it just to irritate her, but it wasn't until this moment, when the late summer moonlight poured in through Rachel's window highlighting Rachel's cute dimple that Quinn started to finally put the pieces together.

She shook her head. It was too crazy to think about at one in the morning. Shaking the thoughts from her mind, Quinn closed her eyes as Rachel burrowed further into her side

-/-

"You have GOT to be kidding me, Q!" Santana hissed from the shower adjacent to her best friend.

Quinn rolled her eyes, scrubbing her body down with soap. Coach Sylvester had put them through the ringer with the first of many grueling four-hour practices. It was her way of making up for lost time over the summer. Every single muscle in her body ached, but Quinn couldn't help but admit that she loved being on the team. Being apart of something larger than her made her unexplainably happy, so she lived with the physical pain.

"You're such a pussy," Santana scolded, her voice traveling throughout the empty locker room. "You were STRADDLING Rachel, and you didn't kiss her? What are you straight now, Quinn?"

"No, S, I didn't kiss Rachel because she's with Finn."

Santana groaned as she shut off the scalding hot water. Both girls slipped into their towels and padded lightly over to their lockers.

"Look, Finnocence doesn't deserve that dwarf. I don't know how she stands his man boobs," Santana said, shivering at the thought.

"Okay, Rachel is not a dwarf, so can you just go ten minutes without insulting her? And also, S, you kind of slept with him... and his man boobs," Quinn pointed out, throwing on a sports bra and T-shirt.

"Shut up," Santana mumbled through putting on her shirt. "Oh, and Q? If I'm not mistaken, YOU dated and fought over his jiggly man boobs!"

Quinn slammed her locker shut. "Okay! Can we just agree that Finn's man boobs are gross, and that we both wish we never had to experience them in the flesh?"

Santana sighed, nodding reluctantly. "Sure. Whatever. So what are you gunna do about Ru-Rachel?"

Quinn smiled at Santana's correction as they began to walk towards their cars.

"Well, Rachel promised she'd call me later tonight so we could discuss our first days of school."

Freezing in place, Santana gaped at her best friend.

"W-what are you going to do tonight?" she asked in disbelief.

Quinn repeated her previous sentence a bit slower until Santana burst into laughter.

"Holy shit, Q! You are totally whipped! It's like you're already dating her!"

"Funny, Rachel said that to me last night, when we were in bed together!" Quinn countered.

Santana quirked an eyebrow. "And by 'in bed together' you mean spooning aka not having sex or getting your sweet lady kisses on."

Smacking her hard on the arm, Quinn said goodbye and drove home. Santana meant it as an insult, but being whipped to Rachel didn't seem that bad to Quinn. Sure, some of the movies Rachel made her watch were awful, but Quinn did it so they could hold hands in the dark or cuddle on the couch. Sure, some of Rachel's quirky rituals, like that insanely long first-day-of-school to-do list, freaked her out a little bit, but she didn't care because Rachel was so cute when she did them, especially when after she completed an item on her list she checked it off with a gold star. And sure-

Quinn slammed on the brakes. Luckily no one was behind her.

"Oh my God," she moaned, laying her head on the steering wheel in defeat.

Two months, she thought to herself.

It only took me two months to fall for Rachel Berry. Now that has got to be some sort of record.

She was screwed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_2009_

_First day of 9th Grade_

"_A lonely Road that you have chosen"_

* * *

><p>Quinn entered high school relatively confident in herself. The blonde had enlisted in Coach Sylvester's Freshman Hell Camp as to give herself an advantage during tryouts this year. Eight hours a day, six days a week, Sue drilled the freshmen until they either passed out or quit. The camp, as inhumane as it was, weeded out the unfit hopefuls until only the true Cheerios remained. By the end of the torturous two months, Quinn never felt stronger. Her body was in the best shape it had ever been, and Quinn knew now how to flaunt it. Before the camp, boys in middle school practically jumped her in the hallway; now that she had a real body, Quinn could only guess how the high school boys would react.<p>

The high school was remarkably bigger than her cozy middle school where she had ruled as Queen of the Eighth Grade. There, she was practically worshipped. Her outfits were copied by most of the girls in the grade. People fought to sit with her at lunch and to be her friend. The blonde had been spoiled because now as she walked down the halls to her locker on the first day, Quinn suddenly felt small, almost nonexistent. She was lost in a crowd of unfamiliar faces, kids who were taller than her, older than her, and more experienced than her. All of the power she had apparently earned in middle school wasn't worth a dime in high school.

A pack of girls dressed in blazing red Cheerios uniforms glared her down as they glided down the halls, the crowds parting effortlessly. At the head of the pack was a tall, lean, ginger with bright green eyes and a cocky grin on her face. Quinn knew who she was. Gracie Karter, head Cheerio since her junior year, the youngest head Cheerio in history. She had helped train the fresh meat at the hell camp that summer. The rest of the girls were simply her accessories, but she was intimidating nonetheless. Quinn could only stare at the group. She so desperately wanted to be like Gracie. The way she carried herself was terrifying yet admirable. After what seemed like years, Quinn finally spotted her locker and practically got mauled by a football player on her way there.

"Watch it, freshman," he growled.

With a huff, Quinn smoothed out her outfit, took a deep breath and opened the locker. She carefully placed all of her books inside and grabbed her math binder before shutting the door again. Her schedule was an ambitious one, as she was enrolled in all honors classes this year. First period was honors Geometry. Luckily, she loved math.

As she turned around, the sea of people seemed to have multiplied. Desperate for a familiar face, Quinn scanned the crowd frantically for one of her friends, unsure if any of them had arrived yet.

To her surprise, a pair of brown eyes locked onto hers almost instantly, taking Quinn's breath hostage.

_Rachel_.

The brunette was wearing a signature plaid skirt, fuzzy sweater, and pair of penny loafers. She sported a purple backpack that slung over her shoulder. Quinn was surprised they had found each other, considering how tiny Rachel was compared to everyone else. Nevertheless, they held each other in a gaze, peering across the hallway with curiosity and longing all in one long gigantic stare.

"Sup, blondie."

Quinn snapped out of her trance. Shaking her head, she saw that two girls had appeared by her side while she had been staring at Rachel. The taller of the two had creamy skin and light blonde hair that was tied up in a loose ponytail. Her companion was a fiery brunette with tanned skin. She was the one who had so rudely interrupted Quinn's thoughts.

"Do I know you?" Quinn asked coolly, regaining her composure instantly.

The girl smiled, pinky linked with the blonde.

"You don't remember us? We went to Sue's Freshman Hell Camp together." Her face split into a maniacal grin. "Santana Lopez. This is Brittany."

"Hi," Brittany greeted cheerfully.

"Oh yeah. Hey, I'm Quinn," Quinn responded, returning her eyes to Santana.

"You're one damn good cheerleader. You're trying out, right?"

"Definitely," Quinn affirmed with a smile. "My mother and sister were head Cheerios when they went to school here," Quinn boasted.

"We know. Coach told us about it last week at camp."

"I assume you guys are trying out too?"

Santana nodded, and Brittany just smiled at her with an overwhelmingly accepting grin.

"Hells yeah!"

An awkward silence passed over the trio.

"Look, Quinn, can I be honest?" Santana asked.

"Uh..." Quinn paused. "Sure, why not?"

Grinning, the brunette began her proposal.

"Britt and I really want to rule this hell hole. Did you see those girls before? They're all graduating, even that freaky Pippy Long Stocking gone power-crazy girl. Know what that means?"

"Tell her, S!" Brittany added with enthusiasm.

"It means we'll have the perfect opportunity to snatch her spot. It's like in history when like one emperor dies or something and then there's a power swiffer or something."

"Power vacuum," Quinn corrected.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that, whatever. See, Brittany here is a kick-ass dancer, and I bring the attitude. Plus I'm pretty much a badass. I made a man cry when I was seven years old, and that man was my father. Only issue is we need someone to lead us."

Quinn gaped incredulously. This girl couldn't be serious.

"And you think I'm that someone?" she asked with a laugh.

"Look, you may dress like some weird Virgin Mary, but you're smoking hot and really talented. That back flip you did last week at practice was crazy! I know a head Cheerio when I see one, and you're it, blondie."

"I don't know..." Quinn said with hesitation, letting her eyes wander back to the vacant spot that Rachel had occupied just minutes before, suddenly unsure if she wanted to be a leader anymore.

Santana sighed, unlinked her pinky, and leaned against the wall of lockers with ease.

"You want to be popular, right?"

"Yeah, I guess..."

There was that serial-killer grin again.

"Then consider my offer. I guarantee that by the end of this year those head spots on the squad will be ours," she persuaded.

Quinn could only nod as she watched Brittany tug on Santana's arm. The brunette smiled almost humanely before returning her eyes back to Quinn.

"Think about it," she said with a shrug before entwining her fingers with Brittany and walking off to her first period class.

Quinn thought about it all day. While her teachers assigned insane amounts of work and monotonously went through their syllabuses, Quinn's mind raced with visions of the future. Could she really do what Gracie Karter did? Could she really fill the power vacuum with Santana and Brittany by her side?

Cheerleading was natural for her, that was a given. Her mother and sister were both athletic and trim, as was she, and had ruled McKinley in their days. Now it was her turn. It was her turn to dominate her small, forgettable high school in her small, forgettable town. Sure, her family had prestige, but that could only get her so far. She had to work for a title, work for a reputation, work for popularity.

During lunch, as she sat with the rest of the prospective Cheerios, Quinn peered across the lunchroom in search of Rachel. Her eyes just seemed to have a mind of their own. The brunette was sitting at a table alone with a perfectly balanced and vegan meal. On the outside, she seemed unmoved by the fact that no one wanted to sit with her; but Quinn knew better. Quinn understood that need to belong, that desire to have friends to sit with at lunch and hang out with on the weekend. What would Rachel think about her joining the Cheerios, about being friends with Santana and Brittany?

Quinn hadn't spoken to Rachel in what seemed like forever, but as hard as she tried to push the girl out of her thoughts Rachel pushed back harder with a determined force. Rachel joined the show choir, which simply made Quinn cringe. The club sat around on stools and sang. Plus that pervy teacher was in charge, and Quinn was pretty sure he was molesting every boy in the club.

Still, Quinn couldn't help but envy her ex-friend. Even though show choir was completely lame, Rachel did it without caring about what people would thought about her. She just did it, signed her name on the sign up sheet, sang the hell out of a Celine Dion song, and soared into the club. Not that Quinn had snuck into the auditions and watched from the rafters or anything. She had just heard through word of mouth that Rachel had sang that. Yeah.

Would Rachel approve of her choice? The Cheerios bullied a lot of kids, but Rachel wouldn't be one of them. It wouldn't happen. For the remainder of the school day, Quinn fought with herself. Eventually, she decided to forget about Rachel. The girl wasn't in her life anymore. This was her time, her four years to make the most of, not Rachel's. Who cared what she thought? Not Quinn.

By the end of the day, her decision was made. With a confident smile, Quinn stalked to Santana's locker.

"Let's do it," she declared as the brunette slammed her locker shut.

"You're the boss, Q."

Quinn's heart swelled at her new nickname. Santana grinned back at her and offered her an arm. Quinn accepted, and the two headed off towards the gym for the first days of Cheerios tryouts, breezing past a petite brunette who clutched an argyle binder to her chest, trying to contain the jealousy that was fighting to overtake her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello everyone! I know I didn't post this Wednesday and I'm sorry for that. I just wanted to save this very special chapter for today since the holidays are so so close (and if you're Jewish they're already here!). I hope you all really enjoy this and have a very happy and healthy holiday :)  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15 <strong>

_December 24th, 2010_

_Junior Year_

"_I'd really love to tell you"_

* * *

><p>Paradise, as defined by Quinn Fabray:<p>

Her father's most comfortable armchair

A large Christmas tree resting next to the fireplace.

Two mugs of warm tea with honey and milk.

ThePerksofBeingaWallflower by Stephen Chbosky.

A Mexican blanket her father brought for her on a business trip to Mexico when she was nine.

A crackling fire lit to perfection by Hiram and Leroy Berry.

A feast, vegan and non-vegan friendly, prepared by her mother.

Snow lightly falling outside the window.

And Rachel Berry curled up into her body with droopy eyes trying to read Quinn's book.

"Quinn," she whined, nuzzling her nose into Quinn's arm.

The blonde smiled, soaking in her paradise and the sounds of light clatter coming from the kitchen. All five of them were stuffed to the brim with delicious food, but the three adults decided to plow through the dishes. Their parents were clambering around, singing along to Christmas music on the radio, Hiram singing at the top of his lungs. Quinn only heard them faintly. All she saw was Rachel. All she heard was the sound of her breath.

"Yes, lady?" she asked quietly, pulling her in closer and valiantly resisting the urge to kiss the smile off of the brunette's face.

"When are you gunna give me my last gift?"

The blonde giggled softly, shutting her book and lazily tossing it on the sofa, knowing this moment would come. As much as she adored Rachel, she was pitifully impatient. For a moment, though, they just felt each other, absorbing the sounds of the evening together.

Judy had invited the Berrys to her house for Christmas Eve since the Berrys had invited the Fabrays to their home for final night of Hanukah. Quinn bought Rachel eight gifts even though Rachel had begged her not to get her anything. By the end of the holiday, Rachel was the proud owner of a new bedazzler, two animal sweaters, an original cast playbill from _Wicked_ when Judy had seen the show, a mix tape of her and Quinn's favorite songs, a deluxe music organizer from Sam Ash, and finally a box of tissues, a gift that puzzled the brunette greatly.

Quinn had held off on giving Rachel her eighth and final gift. She had been planning it for months with Puck. Once they had talked about Beth and had come to terms with all they had been through, Puck had agreed to teach Quinn the guitar, mainly because it was for Rachel. Quinn practiced until her fingers were blistered and worn. It was quite the challenge hiding her guitar endeavors from her best friend who had recently become a fan of handholding whenever they could.

Luckily, by the end of the first semester, Quinn had learned her eighth gift by memory. Her mother had hidden the guitar in Hiram's closet last week in preparation for tonight.

"You want your last gift?" Quinn teased, lightly bopping the girl's nose with her finger.

Rachel pouted, and Quinn immediately caved. Quinn swiftly lifted the brunette into her arms, got up off of the comfortable chair, and placed her onto the ground.

"Come with me, lady," she said with a wink, offering her hand to the confused brunette.

Quinn guided Rachel upstairs to her bedroom, sitting her down on the bed with care.

"I'll be right back."

Quinn race to the linen closet and grabbed the instrument. Her heart was pounding as she clutched Noah's guitar with a tight fist.

Rachel had remained in her spot, curled up like a kitten. Her head turned to see her best friend, her eyes instantly widening when she saw the guitar.

"Quinn?"

The blonde just smiled and began to strum a light melody.

_There are places I remember_

_All my life though some have changed_

_Some forever not for better_

_Some have gone and some remain_

_All these places have their moments_

_With lovers and friends I still can recall_

_Some are dead and some are living_

_In my life I've loved them all_

_But of all these friends and lovers_

_There is no one compares with you_

_And these memories lose their meaning_

_When I think of love as something new_

_Though I know I'll never lose affection_

_For people and things that went before_

_I know I'll often stop and think about them_

_In my life I love you more_

_Though I know I'll never lose affection_

_For people and things that went before_

_I know I'll often stop and think about them_

_In my life I love you more_

_In my life I love you more _

The music drifted through the room, carrying with it the love Quinn felt for her best friend. Her heart was in her throat as she strummed the last chord and let the sound linger in the air. Rachel was staring at her with wide eyes that Quinn couldn't read like she normally could. Trying not to hyperventilate, Quinn placed the guitar to the floor, her mind racing as she saw the indecipherable look on Rachel's face, her eyes catching the sight of a single tear trailing down her tan skin. Quickly, she grabbed Rachel's seventh gift, hoping these were happy tears.

"Rach?" Quinn asked with a small, insecure voice.

The brunette got up from her perch, slowly approaching Quinn. Her eyes locked onto the worried hazel ones staring at her.

"That's my favorite Beatles song," Rachel murmured, sniffling lightly.

Quinn's lips easily curled into a shy smile.

"I know."

"Do you mean it?" Rachel blurted. "The song... do you mean it?"

A blush spread across Quinn's cheeks as she handed the girl a tissue. Rachel accepted, dabbing away her tears.

"Yes," she breathed, causing Rachel to grasp onto Quinn's shaking hand.

The gesture electrified the blonde who pulled Rachel into a tight hug, inhaling her shampoo instantly. She heard Rachel sigh as she tucked her head into Quinn's shoulder. They fit like always, and they both reveled in each other.

"Thank you," the brunette mumbled into her body.

As Quinn pulled out of the embrace, Rachel's hand cupped her cheek. Her eyes were darkened, a small light from the fire reflected in the midst of a deep chocolate brown. A smooth thumb absently stroked her cheek. Rachel laughed softly to herself.

"Is it weird that I still find it impossible to believe that you're here with me?"

Quinn shook her head and placed her hand atop Rachel's.

"I still can't believe you forgave me," she admitted with a breathy laugh.

"Of course I did," Rachel reassured her.

The world seemed to stop for a moment. Rachel was there, and so was she. Everything disappeared. Hands touching, hearts screaming to kiss, and eyes devouring each other. And yet neither could make a move, frozen in time. Quinn saw every detail of Rachel, the light hair above her lip, the slight curl of her nose, the lengthy lashes hovering over her mesmerizing eyes. Why couldn't she make a move?

-/-

Rachel was panicking. Why did this feel so good? Quinn's hand over hers and her hand over warm, unbelievably smooth skin. She had never felt her heart beat so hard in her life, and she was finding it difficult to keep her eyes from staring at Quinn's lips.

_No,__no,__no_._This__is__so__so__wrong_.

It was wrong, right? Finn was with his mom and the Hummels for Christmas dinner at some ski lodge nearby that once again had no cell service. They had exchanged gifts before the holiday break. Rachel had bought him a rather expensive watch while he had given her a star necklace. While she loved the thought, how could he live up to the performance she had just experienced?

Quinn's voice was like honey drizzling over her heart. Each word dripped with emotion, and though she had asked the blonde, Rachel knew with everything in her that Quinn meant it. It was just how she meant it that puzzled her.

Did she love her more as a friend or as a... lover? The fact that her heart just leapt at the thought of being Quinn's lover startled her.

And now, their faces were within inches of each other and Rachel was drawing a blank. The desire to kiss Quinn surged within her, causing her breath to hitch.

"Rach?"

Had her eyes been closed? Rachel opened her eyes, a warm blush pervading her cheeks. She tried to shake the thought out of her.

"Since when did you know how to play guitar?" she asked with a grin.

Quinn laughed and took Rachel's hand, guiding them back to the bed. Rachel fell effortlessly into the blonde's arms and felt whole again.

"Puckerman," she said at last.

"Noah!" Rachel exclaimed, wondering how in the world the boy had managed to keep it from her.

"Yeah, every day after school he's been helping me," Quinn explained.

Quinn learned guitar. For her. Quinn learned an entire song on an instrument she had no clue how to play. For her. God, why was she being so romantic? It was making the not kissing and staring at her lips thing so much harder.

Everything felt so faint sound of the wind outside, and the beat of their hearts in sync all came together to transport Rachel to a sort of... paradise she never knew could exist.

Then, out of nowhere, Rachel remembered that she had yet to give Quinn her gift.

"Oh my goodness! Your gift! Hold on, I'll be right back!" Rachel jumped up, racing to her closet to get the gift.

She grabbed the gift bag and within seconds was back. Extending her arm, Rachel smiled shyly.

"I hope you like it," Rachel said quietly.

Quinn looked puzzled at the girl's sudden timidity. Opening the bag carefully, Quinn pulled out a deluxe package of all three High School Musical DVDs. Quinn burst into laughter, threw the gift to the floor, and seized the giggling brunette.

"You are such a dork!" she cried, ticking underneath Rachel's armpits.

"Stop!" Rachel shrieked. "And I am not a dork! You need to work on your dance moves, Quinn. They are pathetic. I mean everyone knows 'We're All in This Together.' It's a classic!"

Quinn rolled her eyes, and eventually released the brunette from her grasp.

"You know..." Rachel hinted, "I think there's something else in there..."

That earned her an eyebrow raise. Quinn picked up the bag and pulled out a pair of small pink flip flops. She gasped, holding a size one pair of flip flops that a five-year old Rachel Berry had worn on their first swim class.

"Are these..." Quinn breathed, "your pink flippy floppys?"

Rachel beamed. "Check the bottoms."

Quinn turned over the shoes to find a message inscribed in black sharpie.

_Merry Christmas, Quinn. Let's go to the Great Terrier Reef sometime._

_Love, _

_Rachel Barbra Berry _

Signed with a star, the inscription brought tears to Quinn's eyes.

"You remember that?" she asked.

"I remember everything, Quinn," Rachel said softly.

The blonde smiled widely and pulled Rachel in for yet another hug. Once again, they melted into the embrace, though Rachel never felt close enough to the blonde. Splaying her hands across the blonde's back, Rachel sighed, her brain foggy with confusion. She decided to stop thinking about Finn and everything else wrong with her thoughts. Her grip tightened around Quinn, and she felt the blonde return the squeeze.

"Merry Christmas, Rach."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

_February 14th, 2003_

_Third Grade_

"_My heart opens up to you"_

* * *

><p>Rachel didn't like Valentine's Day because it meant not getting any valentines in her mailbox at school. She did, however, love that it was an excuse to wear lots of pink. The day before, her third grade teacher had made the class create miniature mailboxes in anticipation for Valentine's Day. Each child decorated his or her box with pink hearts and red marker and doused the thing in glitter until the entire room was a sparkly mess. Rachel had meticulously crafted hers, symmetrically placing hearts and stars to form an elaborate border, even though she was certain that it wouldn't be filled.<p>

After getting ready for school, Rachel dragged herself down the stairs to greet her fathers. She wore a bright pink shirt, pink pants, a pink ribbon in her hair, and a pair of white sneakers.

"Look at what we have here, Lee," Hiram sing-songed, "a pink Berry!"

"Morning, Daddy," Rachel said as she got wrapped up in her father.

"Happy Valentine's Day, darling."

Leroy made the brunette heart-shaped pancakes in honor of the holiday, but Rachel wasn't nearly as enthusiastic as she was last year.

"What's wrong, Rach?" Leroy asked, watching as Rachel cut her food with a frown.

"I don't really want to go to school. I think... I have a cold," Rachel lied.

"Now why would you think that?" Leroy asked, placing his hand on his daughter's forehead."No

fever," he told Hiram with a wink.

They both knew why their daughter didn't want to go to school. It broke their hearts.

"No one's gunna give me any valentimes," Rachel murmured as her father pulled her close.

Leroy winced, stroking his daughter's small back.

"You don't know that," he reassured her. "And besides, today you've got swim lessons with Quinn. If you really feel sick, I don't think you can go."

That snapped the girl out of her mood. "I'm fine!" she said with a grin, stuffing the pancakes into her mouth eagerly.

Leroy chuckled, smiling at his amused husband. "Slow down, tiger."

Rachel eventually stopped inhaling her breakfast, brushed her teeth, and got ready for the day. Hiram bundled her up in a large winter coat, a pair of mittens, a scarf and a warm hat. The night before it had snowed, and Hiram didn't want Rachel to catch a cold. Then he handed her her bag filled with valentines for her entire class.

"Ready?" Hiram asked his daughter.

"Mhm," she mumbled through the clothing, causing Leroy to double over with laughter.

"Honey, is all of this really necessary? It was only two inches last night!"

Hiram glared at him. "You know perfectly well, Lee, that the cold could severely impact Rachel's vocal chords. I cannot believe you do not take our daughter's health seriously."

Rolling his eyes, Leroy grabbed Rachel by the hand, pecked Hiram on the cheek, and set off to take Rachel to school. Rachel sat in the back seat, hands twisting in her lap, and looked out the window. When they finally arrived at the tiny elementary school, Rachel heaved her backpack onto her back, grabbed her bag of valentines, kissed her dad, and left.

The day was as she had expected it. She walked into class with a smile on her face. Despite her best efforts, Rachel got her hopes up as soon as she saw all of her classmates in pink and purple and red. Hearts were all around the classroom. Her teacher greeted her with a warm smile.

Rachel slipped her cards into her classmates' boxes, grinning ear to ear. She loved giving gifts, making people smile, making people happy. When she was finished, Rachel took her seat next to Joshua, a young blonde who had yet to say hello.

"Happy Valentines Day, Joshua!" she said softly with a smile.

"Thanks, you too," he mumbled, moving his chair away from the brunette.

By the end of the day, her teacher ended class early so the kids could go empty out their boxes. Rachel's stomach dropped, dreading looking into her box. Trailing after her classmates, Rachel found her perfectly decorated mailbox. The instant she lifted it she knew.

No one had given her a valentine. Not one. Choking back tears, Rachel grabbed her box and backpack and rushed to find her dad. The instant he saw her, Leroy knew. He got out of the car, grabbed the box, threw it in the trunk, and let Rachel into the car.

"Baby," he murmured as she began to cry, stroking her back lightly.

He drove them home, keeping his hand on her back. As soon as they entered the house, Rachel flung herself into Leroy's arms and cried until there were no more tears. By the time Hiram came home and saw his puffy-eyed daughter, he scooped Rachel up and held her until it was time to go to swimming.

"I don't wanna go," she cried into his sweater.

"Why not? Don't you want to see Quinn?" Hiram asked.

"I don't want her to know I didn't get any valentimes."

The sound of his daughter's voice tore him apart. "She won't care, love. Come on now, let's go get your suit."

Hiram got Rachel ready and drove her to the pool within half an hour. Rachel dragged herself to the locker room, eyes darting around the room for Quinn. The blonde wasn't there yet, so Rachel said goodbye to her daddy and made her way to her locker.

She place her bag on the wooden bench before entering her combination. When she opened the door, a note flew out and landed on the floor. Surprised, Rachel ducked down to pick up the pink piece of paper. She slowly opened it, eyes scanning the swirly yet sloppy handwriting.

_Happy Valentimes Day Rach!_

_You're a shining star!_

_Love,_

_Quinnie_

Rachel beamed, tears in her eyes. Quinn remembered to give her a valentine. She looked at the drawing Quinn had done of them at the pool. She even included Rachel's pink flip flops. Rachel carefully closed the note, placed it back in her locker, and got ready for the class, eager to see Quinn.

The brunette dashed out to the pool and halted immediately when she saw Quinn sitting on the bench with a bright smile. Rachel didn't care that the lifeguard was yelling at her for running down the ramp. She merely ignored the whistle and tackled her best friend.

"Quinnie!" she squealed, causing Quinn to giggle.

"Hi, Rach!" Quinn greeted.

The girls smiled and sat closely together on the bleachers.

"You remembered to give me a valentime!" Rachel exclaimed. "I have yours in my locker."

Quinn laughed. The class ran smoothly, the girls elated to be with each other at last. Rachel's bad day was quickly forgotten as she traveled across the pool with her best friend in toe. At the end of the class, Rachel and Quinn walked hand in hand to the locker room, towels wrapped tightly around their waists. They showered quickly and changed before meeting back at their lockers.

"Here," Rachel said shyly, handing Quinn a handmade pink card.

Rachel watched anxiously as Quinn read her note. When the blonde looked up with glassy eyes, Rachel enveloped her in a hug. The locker room was emptying out, and Rachel knew her daddy was waiting for her outside.

"You're my best friend, Quinnie," she said once she let go.

Quinn smiled. "You're mine too, Rach."

And then, without warning, Quinn leant in and kissed Rachel softly on the lips. She tasted like chlorine and strawberry. Rachel's entire body went haywire for a moment, but before she could realize what was happening, those soft lips were gone.

"See you next week, Rach."

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><p><strong>So... I hope you all had a great holiday :) And enjoyed this chapter. Things will start picking up soon... so get ready! Reviews are always welcome. I love hearing from you all!<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

_March 4th, 2011_

_Junior year_

"_I can't find the words to say"_

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><p>Being a song writer was not all it was cracked up to be. Mr. Scheuster had finally accepted her idea to write original songs for Regionals. Luckily, Quinn had been on her side, not Finn, and persuaded the club to take Rachel's suggestion into consideration. Rachel sat Indian style on her bed, pen in hand and a blank notebook by her side. Her eyes glanced around her room for some sort of inspiration. Her bedazzler sat upon her desk alongside her laptop, which was opened to Facebook. Next to her desk was her vanity, which held all of her essentials, makeup, hair brushes, clips, and then her nightstand, which was home to her books, alarm clock, head bands, and-<p>

"That's it!" Rachel exclaimed, giving her pen a click to begin writing.

She wrote out the lyrics instantly, beaming when she found that they rhymed and had flow. Scampering over to her portable keyboard, Rachel began to bang out a melody. Within an hour, Rachel had herself her first ever original song.

She ran to her bed and grabbed her phone, dialing a number she knew by heart.

"Finn!" Rachel squealed with delight.

She heard rustling on the other line before the voice of her boyfriend invaded her ears. "Hey."

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"I wrote my very first song tonight!" Rachel practically screamed into the phone.

"Uh, that's awesome, Rach," Finn said, deflated and uninterested.

Rachel's excitement dimmed a bit.

"Do you want to hear it? We could meet in the choir room during lunch?"

"Uh-, I'm sorry, Rach, I can't tomorrow. I gotta go talk to Ms. Pillsbury about the uh SALTS or something."

"SATs, Finn," Rachel corrected, trying to be considerate. "And that's okay. I'll sing it to you some other time."

"Okay," Finn said, and Rachel could almost see his irresistible dopey smile.

"Well, have a good night, Finn. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye."

She hung up disappointed as she threw her phone to her bed, before she realized there was one other person who she could call. Pouncing on her phone, she dialed the other number she knew by heart.

"Quinn" Rachel squealed, hoping someone would care about her incredible accomplishment.

"Rach!" Quinn teased.

"Guess what?"

She heard the blonde giggle on the other end. It made her heart race.

"What is it, lady?"

Blushing at the term of endearment, Rachel took a deep breath. "I wrote my first song ever in the history of my life tonight."

Quinn gasped. "You did?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! I did it, Quinn! After much trouble and hard work, I finally have my song. Would you like to hear it? Maybe tomorrow during lunch?"

There was that laughter that made Rachel's face split into a wide grin.

"Of course I do!" Quinn squealed back.

Rachel giggled uncontrollably, jumping up and down in the middle of her room. Hardly able to sleep, Rachel tossed and turned as she anticipated how Quinn would react to her masterpiece. Would she cry? Would she laugh? No, Quinn wouldn't laugh at her. She'd never do that... right?

Finally morning came, and Rachel woke before her alarm could sound. Rushing through her morning routine, Rachel bounded down the steps two at a time for breakfast. She arrived at school an hour early to work on her Spanish project, but she could hardly focus.

The first half of the day dragged along, but as soon as the fifth period bell rang Rachel raced to the choir room, sheet music in hand. Quinn was already there, faithfully sitting in the audience, while Brad sat faithfully at the piano.

"Hey, my little songwriter," Rachel was greeted warmly with a hug.

Rachel felt her body vibrate in response to Quinn's touch, a feeling she had become accustomed to since the summertime.

Quickly, the girls assumed their positions, and Rachel nodded for Brad to start.

_There you rest_

_With all the rest_

_Of my accessories on my nightstand. _

_You're red or yellow_

_And like a good fellow_

_Sometimes you get lost in my mess_

_But when schoolgirl pigtails won't do,_

_And I need to control my 'do,_

_You're the only one I can count on_

_My headband_

_You're my headband_

_Wrapped right around my melon_

_You're a product like Magellan..._

The piano faded out, and Brad took it upon himself to leave. Rachel smiled at him as he departed before turning to her audience. Quinn stood up to slowly make her way to the piano.

"So... what did you think? Be honest, Quinn," Rachel asked nervously.

"Can I ask you something?" Quinn asked, avoiding Rachel's question.

"Of course."

"What are some of your favorite songs?"

Rachel became puzzled. How could this be relevant? She answered nonetheless.

"My Man by Barbra Streisand, I Dreamed a Dream from Le Miserables, Don't Rain on My Parade by Barbra Streisand..."

Quinn smiled, cutting her off. "You know what those three songs have in common?"

"Yes," Rachel declared confidently. "I have covered all three songs brilliantly over the course of the past two years."

Giggling softly, Quinn took Rachel's hand and placed it over Rachel's heart. "While that is true, that wasn't the similarity I had in mind. All of those songs," her hand moved just barely, "made you _feel_ something. They make you angry or sad or inexplicably happy."

Rachel nodded, hoping Quinn couldn't feel through her hand her throbbing heart.

"While I loved your song," Quinn said softly, "I know you can do better. I know you have been through enough and can find the inspiration to write a song that can make your audience feel something incredible, indescribable."

"How did I get so lucky?" Rachel wondered aloud.

Quinn shook her head, lowering her hand to entwine her fingers with Rachel's. Both felt a surge of warmth take their breath away.

"How did _I_ get so lucky?"

The girls sat for a while in silence. Rachel's mind was racing until it came to a halt when she realized what she could sing about.

"I got it," she said suddenly, perking her head up to look Quinn in the eye.

"What'll it be, lady?"

Suddenly nervous, Rachel twirled a stray lock of hair. "Actually, I don't know it's probably stupid."

"Hey," Quinn reassured her, "judging by the look on your face it's not stupid."

With a shaky, Rachel inhaled. "You know, last night, before I called you about my song, I called Finn. And when I told him, he wasn't excited like you were. He was busy this period and couldn't hear it. Lately, things aren't the same between us. I think I'm doing something wrong, you know? He doesn't look at me the same way and -,"

"You want to write about Finn?" Quinn asked, battling to contain her anger and failing miserably.

"Yes, well I mean, I don't know," Rachel mumbled, suddenly insecure.

"God, it's like Groundhog's Day with you, Rachel," Quinn snapped.

"What?" Rachel breathed.

"How many times do you have to make the same mistake to realize that it's not going to work out?" she said, finally letting her feelings get the best of her and releasing all she wanted Rachel to know into the open.

Rachel was taken aback by the sudden harshness of Quinn's voice. It transported her back to when they fought and ignored and ripped each other apart with silence.

"You're too good for this, Rachel. You're too good for Finn, and for me, and for this shitty town. You're destined for greatness, we all know it. It's why Mercedes and Kurt are so jealous of you, and why Finn is always so terrified of you. We all know that you're getting out, Rachel."

"But that's-,"

"You don't belong here, Rachel," she pleaded her eyes begging Rachel for forgiveness, almost offering her a truce, "and you can't hate me for helping to send you on your way. Yes, I'm your best friend now, but what happens when you get into Juilliard and I stay here?"

"Why do you have to stay here?" Rachel protested.

"Because you're too-," Quinn shouted, before realizing what she was about to say.

She reeled herself in, repressing every emotion and feeling she had in the moment so that they were undetectable.

"You're incredible, Rachel, you really are. I will never lie to you. But that song isn't good enough. You live in this little school girl fantasy of life, thinking I'm gunna get out with you, that we can keep being best friends when I know you're too good for me. That's why you can't write a good song. Rachel, if you **keep** looking for that happy ending, you are never going to get it right."

With that, Quinn left, clutching her arms around her shaking body. Rachel was speechless. Where did that come from? One minute they were holding hands, the next Quinn was yelling about how Rachel's better than her, about how Rachel's destined to get out and she's destined to stay.

And then what Quinn had said hit her. Quinn didn't think their friendship could last. Rachel would ruin everything like she had years ago when Quinn abandoned her. Why did she always ruin everything?

Grabbing her notebook, Rachel began to furiously scrawl out the lyrics that she never knew were locked up inside of her to begin with.

-/-

Quinn kept her distance for a while. How could she have been so stupid? Once the first words had escaped, Quinn hadn't been able to stop the rest from tumbling out after. It was just so frustrating to see Rachel so upset over Finn, fawning over a guy who was so below her, despite his gargantuan body.

Rachel was better than Quinn. That much was obvious. She was kinder, and more beautiful, and more talented. If she didn't get out of Lima, Quinn wouldn't know what to do with herself. After all Quinn had done to the resilient brunette, Rachel still believed herself to be below Finn, which was completely nonsensical.

She didn't mean to be so harsh. Rachel just needed a little push to get out the song Quinn knew she could write. At least that's what she told herself as Rachel ignored her until three days later Regionals finally came and the team was bussed to the auditorium an hour and a half away. Rachel avoided her, and even though she deserved it, it stung. Sighing, she dipped into a seat next to Santana, who was staring longingly at Brittany.

"Hey," she greeted, nudging the brooding brunette.

"Sup, Q," Santana said softly, before noticing that Quinn wasn't sitting with Rachel. "What the hell?"

Quinn was startled. "What the hell, what?"

"Why isn't Berry sitting with you? What did you do?"

Quinn sighed again, leaning her head back against the seat. "I told her that she was too good for Lima, that she'd get out and I wouldn't so we won't be best friends forever and that she lived in a fairytale which is why she can't write a good song."

"Jesus, Q, why the fuck would you say that?"

"Well, she needed help with her song, and I was just trying to push her a bit to get her to write something better than a dinky song about headbands."

Santana scooted closer to her best friend. "Well, she doesn't look mad, but I swear to God if you ruin this, I'll smack you so hard. I hate to admit it, but Rachel's a good one, especially for you. Don't lose her."

Quinn nodded, dropping her head to Santana's shoulder. The bus barely made it to their destination, but sure enough, an hour and a half later the club arrived. They all piled out and into the venue towards the dressing rooms.

Rachel's hair was up in a ribbon, her brown hair cascading down her shoulders. An aqua dress hugged her waist and black leggings covered her lean legs. Quinn breathed in sharply as she took the girl in, eyes devouring her body.

"Q, you're drooling," Santana teased with a smirk as she tugged at Quinn's arm.

"Shut up."

"Rachel, you're on in 5," a stagehand hollered at the diva in the dressing room.

Rachel inhaled, smoothed out her dress, smiled at her reflection, and then made her way to the stage. Quinn's eyes hooked onto hers before she could help it, and the confidence they instilled in her was remarkable. A small smile pervaded her lips without her permission, but Quinn beamed back with a nod.

Slowly, Rachel walked out onto the stage. Quinn watched, hanging on her every movement. A piano began to serenade the audience. Rachel took a breath before beginning her song, the song she had written because of Finn... but really because of Quinn.

The words traveled to her, hitting her like a freight train full speed ahead. A swell of pride overwhelmed her. This was the girl she had fallen for. The notes fell from her lips effortlessly, and she poured every ounce of her soul into the song. Quinn felt tears well up in her eyes. Rachel tightly gripped the microphone as Tina and Brittany entered to sing back up.

Her eyes opened, overflowing with unshed tears, and Quinn's heart broke. This song was hers, 100% Rachel Berry. It was honest, brutally so, and unembellished. It was raw and filled Quinn up. This was Rachel, but it broke her heart that Rachel believed she never got anything right, that everything she touched tumbled down. If anything, Rachel had mistaken herself for Quinn.

The rest of the club was suddenly behind her. They were on in thirty seconds. Quinn just stared. She stared as if this was the last time she'd ever see Rachel. The music faded, and before she could stop herself, Quinn burst into applause. Finn pushed passed her to join his girlfriend, enveloping her in a sloppy hug.

Jealousy shot through her like an arrow, but Quinn restrained herself. This was Rachel's night. She wouldn't ruin it with pettiness. So she clapped and walked alongside her best friend, who kept an eye on her as they took their spots. And Quinn tried to ignore the heartache she felt when their second song ended and Rachel immediately fell into Finn's arms.

She should have been the one holding Rachel. It should have been her, the girl who inspired the song that made the crowd go wild; but it wasn't. The boy who had never supported Rachel in her songwriting endeavors, the boy who was embarrassed by Rachel, the boy who wasn't nearly good enough for her, received the honor of holding Rachel Berry.

The rest of the performance went off without a hitch. Finn, Rachel, and Santana belted out their spunky melodies while they were accompanied by their faithful Glee club. Once their final number came to a close, the group of misfits bounded off the stage, high on the performance, high on success. Quinn trailed after them, heavy with guilt. Rachel was practically bouncing with energy. Before the brunette could get to Finn, Quinn lightly grabbed her arm and pulled her to the side.

"Hey," she breathed softly as a blush crept up on her cheeks.

Rachel grinned shyly, noticing how Quinn's hand was still grasping onto her arm.

"Hey, yourself."

Finn observed as his two ex-girlfriends drew closer to each other backstage, trying to quell his jealousy. Rachel ignored him and returned her attention to the nervous blonde holding onto her.

"I need to apologize," Quinn said carefully. "I was out of line the other day. I shouldn't have been so... harsh with you. It's just- I know you're going to get out of here, Rach. You're too good for Lima. You're so," Quinn met Rachel's earnest gaze, "you are _so_ talented, Rachel. That song you wrote tonight, that- that was what I wanted to hear. Not that headband song. That's the kind of song I knew you had in you. I just didn't know how to get it out."

Rachel nodded, taking Quinn's shaking hand into hers. "It's okay. I-I sort of needed it. I mean, you were right. I can't keep wishing for a happy ending. I need to be more realistic and-,"

"No," Quinn interrupted, "Rachel, you don't need to be more realistic. I was taking out my anger on you, and that's never fair. I'm so sorry."

The brunette's eyes darted to her teammates. "Why were you so angry?"

Quinn shuddered almost imperceptibly. "I hate thinking about the future. I-I hate thinking about the future because you- there is no doubt in my mind that you will be successful. You'll leave Ohio and move on. But what about me? I don't know if I can get out of here too. And I'm just really scared of losing you to the friends you'll make in New York. I'm afraid of not mattering once you're gone."

Rachel stared at her best friend, how her eyes darkened with sorrow. "How do you know you're going to lose me? You're just as good as me, Quinn. You're smart and incredibly athletic. There is no doubt in my mind that we can make it out of here together. Besides," Rachel paused, a small smile dancing over her lips, "there's no one else I'd want to take with me," Rachel confessed.

The blonde smiled sadly. "I hope we can make it, Rach, I really do."

Rachel gave the hand in hers a squeeze. "We will."

Rachel's words were enough to placate Quinn. For a moment, Quinn really believed Rachel and couldn't help but pull her into a tight hug, melding their bodies against each other with ease. She had missed these arms more than she had imagined. They fit, as always.

"And Rach?"

"Mhm?"

Quinn smiled into the deep brown locks against her cheek. "You- you couldn't be farther from the truth."

Brown eyes widened, but Rachel's grip never faltered. "What do you mean?"

"You've been getting it right your entire life."

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><p><strong>So... I hope you enjoyed his one. We're a bit over halfway through the story :D Please, please review! You have no idea how much they mean to me. Thank you for reading!<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

_September 2005_

_Sixth Grade_

"_Who ate your heart?"_

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><p>The locker room was bustling with young children and their mothers whizzing from the restroom to the showers to the lockers and back. In the cool air around them, the sounds of lockers slamming and children whimpering reverberated against the walls. It was a typical Tuesday afternoon at Lima's community pool.<p>

As the younger children filed out to go home, the older, more experienced swimmers trailed in. Rachel, with her pink backpack slung over her shoulder, followed the other girls in her class towards the lockers. Out of habit, Rachel scanned the room for Quinn, looking for that long blonde hair and those hazel eyes. She was a bit on the early side, so Rachel didn't panic when Quinn was nowhere to be found. With an excited grin, Rachel skipped over to her locker.

School was brutal lately. The work was no challenge for the brunette, but socially she was in for it. Luckily, she still had Noah, her trusty sidekick, to keep her company, but of course, she always longed for Quinn. Her only connection to the blonde was the weekly lessons at the pool. Although she didn't love the lessons any less, Rachel found it difficult to just resume their friendship once a week for thirty-five minutes as if nothing was wrong. In reality Rachel was hurting, and the dull pain of Quinn's rejection had become a part of her that she had accepted over the years. Despite all of her questions that ached to be freed, Rachel refused to mention school. She felt herself drifting from the blonde with each lesson. They had gone from talking about their deepest secrets to the weather, from imagining intricate underwater worlds to simply cheering each other on when they reached the other end of the pool.

Rachel couldn't lie to herself anymore. Quinn wasn't her best friend, not even at swim lessons. She sighed and plopped her bag and herself onto the bench in front of her locker. Not really wanting to get up, Rachel stared at the locker with a heavy stomach. Something felt off about today. She turned over her shoulder to look for Quinn, but her eyes returned to the locker disappointed.

Finally, Rachel got up and quickly entered the combination. She threw her bag in the locker, grabbed her goggles, and slammed the door shut. When she walked down the ramp to greet her class, Quinn still hadn't arrived. Rachel stared at the clock. Quinn still had two minutes. Swinging her legs back and forth, Rachel waited, her stomach churning with worry. Her father joined her to give her the towel she had forgotten to pack.

"Where's Quinn?" he asked casually, noting Rachel's anxiousness.

"I don't know."

"Maybe she's running late," her Dad offered but Rachel couldn't shake the feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Maybe," she mumbled before taking her seat, leaving room for Quinn should she arrive.

But she never did. For three weeks Rachel waited for her to come bounding down the ramp clad in a bathing suit and flip flops but she never did.

By the end of the third lesson, Rachel's world seemed to have stopped. Sure, she had accepted that she wasn't close to Quinn anymore. But this? This was too much. Tears welled furiously in her deep brown eyes, and before she could control them they spilled over down her cheeks. Her heart seemed to rip in two pieces.

Quinn quit. Quinn quit swim lessons. Alone in the locker room after another Quinn-less lesson, Rachel gasped, choking back a sob. Without hesitation, Rachel threw her things in her bag, slammed the door shut, and locked it in a fury. Grabbing her bag, Rachel ran out of the locker room and to her bicycle. Leroy had picked up an extra shift and couldn't drive her home that day.

She slung her legs over the bike and took off in a hurry, pedaling and crying while the wind whipped furiously against her dampened face. Each pedal was a release of anger and of heartache. Her mind was racing, her vision blurry, but Rachel just kept pumping her legs up and down until they had taken her to the only place she could go.

Throwing the bike onto the browned lawn, Rachel raced up the steps and pounded on the door. She heard _Schindler__'__s__List_ blaring from the living room window. The silhouette of Mrs. Puckerman was clearly visible. Noah opened the door to find his best friend in pieces.

"She quit."

Before she could further fall apart, Noah pulled Rachel into his arms and guided her towards his bedroom. He held on as she would hold onto him in a year's time, tightly with all of his strength, as she poured out everything she knew and felt for Quinn Fabray. He held on as she recounted their first lesson, their first play date, the first time they held hands. She sobbed until there were no more tears, but it wasn't the quitting that made Rachel so upset. It wasn't that she would probably never talk to Quinn again or that she would never get to hear Quinn laugh because of a joke she told. What ripped her to shreds was the fact that for the first time Quinn rejected and abandoned Rachel in the place where they had always been best friends. Rachel was broken.

"She's an idiot, Rachel," Noah cooed as he stroked Rachel's soft hair.

"No, she's not an idiot. Why would she be my friend anyways? I'm no one, Noah. Why did she even keep coming all of these years if she was just gunna leave?"

"I don't know," was all Noah could say.

He hated Quinn, the girl Rachel, despite her best efforts to conceal it, wanted more than him. Noah knew he was a consolation prize to Quinn. Rachel had mentioned her on multiple occasions, mentioning their swim lessons and play dates. He didn't understand why she was so special. He was the one who sat with her at lunch. He was the one who made her laugh and hugged her and made her feel special. Quinn ignored Rachel, made her sad, made her cry. Why did Rachel choose the blonde over the fiercely loyal boy holding her right now? Deep down, he understood why. Noah wasn't stupid, and even at that age realized that what Rachel felt for Quinn wasn't the same thing that she felt for him; he just didn't want to face it, not yet. So for now he would continue to be there for his best friend, Quinn be damned.

Rachel felt numb. It all was suddenly real. Quinn wasn't her best friend. Yes, she had Noah and she would always be grateful to him, but Quinn was different. Quinn was radiant and kind when they were together. Quinn was... Quinn. Rachel had no other explanation than that because quite frankly she would never find the right words to describe what Quinn meant to her.

Leroy and Hiram knew what had happened. Noah had explained to them why their daughter had suddenly become withdrawn, quiet, and depressed. Leroy was irate. How could the Fabrays do this to them? Seeing Rachel upset only fueled his anger, but Hiram always cooled him down, though he too felt angered by the situation.

The next day after dinner, Rachel called her parents into her room. Together they sat on Rachel's queen-sized bed, anxiously awaiting their daughter's speech.

"Dad, Daddy," she said defiantly, "I want to stop taking swim lessons."

They blinked.

"Why?" Hiram asked.

Rachel's eyes averted her parents as she recited the answer to the question she knew her parents would ask her. She had rehearsed it all night.

"I am far too advanced to be wasting my time there. I'd much rather spend my time working on solos for future brilliant performances."

Did they buy it? Rachel looked to her fathers, who both had one eyebrow raised.

"Too advanced?" Leroy asked suspiciously.

"Far too advanced," Rachel nodded, her confidence faltering.

Of course they didn't buy it. Rachel was their daughter. They knew her inside and out so it was more than obvious to them, though they didn't let on, that she was upset that Quinn stopped taking swim lessons. Leroy had a mind to call up Judy and ask her point blank what was going on, but he knew. Quinn had outgrown swim lessons, and in turn had outgrown Rachel. It broke their hearts.

"Okay, love," Leroy said gently and went over to the bed.

He wrapped his arm around her easily and she fell into him, Hiram joining seconds later. They held her tightly, feeling her small body wrack as a small sob escaped. Hiram almost lost it. Luckily, Leroy held them together, stroking her back gently and wishing he could make it better. Unfortunately, only one person could make this better, and she wasn't going to be around any time soon.

Rachel couldn't bring herself to go back to the pool. She needed to clean her locker out, but it hurt too much. For the next five years she would let the note live in the darkened space of her locker as Quinn slowly left her thoughts, though never completely.

They saw each other daily in the hallways, but Rachel no longer stared with sad puppy dog eyes. Instead she took her pain and anger and threw it into her singing, into her career, into her future.

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><p><em>AN: Hello everyone! Thank you so so much for your reviews and alerts and favorites! This chapter was quite short, I know, but next chapter is the complete opposite. Trust me. Reviews, as always, are super appreciated!_


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

_March 14th, 2010_

_Junior Year_

"_Only some dumb idiot would let you go"_

Finn Hudson blinked slowly, eyes drooping, as Mr. Schuester went on about Spanish lizards during his fourth period Spanish class. Normally, he'd stare at the hot picture of a Spanish chick Mr. Schue used to have up on the wall, but because some nerd complained about it making his wiener do unspeakable things Mr. Schue took it down. Now he had nothing to keep him awake.

As discreetly as possible, Finn reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He had just texted Rachel, hoping to... you know. She hadn't responded. Finn knew she had study hall so her phone would be on. This was kind of stuff he didn't understand. Here he was, stud of the football team, most popular guy in the entire school, and his own girlfriend wouldn't sexy text with him. What was wrong with that picture?

Rachel used to make him feel really special. When they sang together it was like magic, but lately Finn was second-guessing his decision to get together with her. Even though he knew it was wrong, Finn would sometimes daydream about what it would be like to date Quinn again.

Last year had been rough for the supposed golden couple. Quinn had ripped his heart out, lying to him about a child that wasn't his; but despite their problems, Finn missed the blonde. He missed how she would scold him for doing silly things like putting his tie on backwards or forgetting to order bacon on her pizza. He missed how they walked down the halls together with his arm around her shoulders. It was nice sometimes with Quinn.

He felt terrible about missing Quinn. After all, he had a hot girlfriend that wasn't Quinn. It was just that Rachel didn't seem to want him anymore. And he was bored. And Quinn looked really pretty today in homeroom, and Finn knew he saw her look over at him from across the room. She missed him too. She had to.

Two hot girls. He couldn't date both of them, unfortunately. On one hand, Rachel was amazing. She cared about his feelings and treated him nicely. She baked him cookies and sent him goodnight texts every night- well she had sent him goodnight texts until a couple weeks ago. On the other hand, Quinn was smoking. She had a hot body, really soft lips, and even though she yelled at him for being stupid, she was his first love.

The two girls had become friends over the summer. Finn still didn't know what to make of it. It was weird. They walked together in the halls and like hung out, but Finn didn't get why. They hated each other, and while he liked how they weren't at each other's throats anymore, he kind of missed two hot girls fighting over him.

Finn sighed into his palm. How could he figure out who he really loved? He thought for a moment, the dull sound of Mr. Scheuster rambling on about lizards serving as background music for his brainstorming.

And that's when he had the most brilliant idea yet.

-/-

"Uhhhhhhhhhh," Rachel moaned, resting her head on the piano in defeat.

"Is he _still_ texting you?" Quinn asked, snagging the brunette's phone from her dangling hand.

**Hey babeu wanna sent me a pic ture32 of yoar boobs? **

Quinn rolled her eyes so hard it hurt. Why Rachel was still with this doofus was beyond her, though, as Santana had so kindly pointed out, Quinn had dated him last year. Their relationship had its moments. The boy had tried to step up for her and their baby. Sometimes a girl just can't resist that dopey smile.

"He's trying to sext me," Rachel mumbled through her clothing.

Quinn rubbed a soothing hand over her back, trying not to launch into her "Why I should be your girlfriend and not Finn" speech. As much as Quinn wanted Rachel, she was not about to end the girl's relationship. She had to draw a line somewhere. So instead of exploding, Quinn inhaled a heavy breath and blew out as much anger as she could.

Suddenly, Rachel shot up, causing Quinn to drop her hand. The brunette's eyes were shining for a moment. Quinn resisted smiling at how adorable she was when she was about to give an epic speech.

"You what the worst part of this is?" Rachel asked.

The blonde shook her head.

"I don't remember why I'm with him. I don't remember why I thought he and I could work together. We're so different. And I just- how do you remember why you love someone, Quinn?"

Quinn slid over closer to her best friend.

"I don't know, Rach."

With a sigh, Rachel slumped into Quinn, wondering absently why she seemed to fit so perfectly into the blonde's body.

-/-

"Sup, my itty bitty Jewish polka dot bikini?" Noah purred as he entwined arms with his best friend.

Rachel pouted, looking down at her yellow polka dotted dress. The end of the day had finally come, and a large crowd of students was pushing through the hallways.

"That bad?"

Noah stifled a laugh, shaking his head. "Nah, it's perfect."

The brunette sighed, sagging into Noah. Immediately, Noah sensed something was wrong. He guided them into the courtyard, sitting them down onto the nearest bench.

"What's going on, Rach?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

Rachel rolled her eyes, outwardly hating how easily he could read her. Secretly, she loved how close she was with Noah.

"Now, how do you know something's going on?" she asked curiously.

"Easy," Noah said simply. "I know you."

It was an acceptable answer. He did know her.

"It's Finn."

"Ah, I see. What did my idiotic yet lovable friend do this time?"

Frustrated, Rachel threw up her hands. "He didn't really do anything, per say. He's a great guy, really great when he wants to be. And I should want him the way he wants me, but I just don't! And really, it's just that-I want-I need more! I need someone who can spell. I need someone who isn't trying to have sex with me every single day despite the fact that I specifically told him that I didn't want sex until I was ready, which I'm not. I need someone who knows me and understands me. I need someone who isn't self-centered and oblivious. I need someone who isn't twenty feet taller than me. I need someone soft yet passionate. And God, I just need someone who remembers what time our dates are and that I don't eat animal products! Is that too much to ask?"

"Woah, woah," Noah calmed her with a strong arm around her trembling frame. "That bad, huh?

Rachel nodded weakly. "I don't know why I love him anymore, Noah. I'm such a terrible person."

The boy cupped her face into his hands, staring confidently into her eyes.

"Rachel, you aren't a terrible person, and you aren't asking for too much. Stop making yourself crazy, silly girl," Noah reassured her, pulling Rachel closer into his body.

"Honestly, the only person who's getting me through this train wreck of a relationship is Quinn."

Noah's ears perked at this. Being the attentive best friend he was, Noah had noticed Quinn and Rachel's newfound... friendship. It wasn't that he didn't believe that they could actually be friends without killing each other; it was just weird seeing them together. They sat next to each other in glee club, shoulders always touching. They spent all of their time together, and when they weren't together they were texting like maniacs. Noah was no idiot, and he could read his best friend like a book. It was just a surprising plot twist, Rachel being in love with Quinn.

"Yeah, tell me about that," Noah prodded carefully.

"I've been meaning to explain this to you actually," Rachel started quietly.

A cool fall breeze ruffled her hair gently. She tucked her hair behind her ear before continuing.

"One day during the summer, I decided to go to the pool because you know I needed a change in my workout routine."

"So you went to see Quinn."

Rachel blushed. "Fine," she huffed, "I didn't know she'd be there, but for some reason I hoped she'd be. And she was there. Quinn's a lifeguard and a swimming teacher. We started talking a bit, but it was really awkward. Then one night she came over to my house, and we went for a rather blissful walk at around midnight. She explained why she abandoned me when we were kids. And she asked me to forgive her and I did. Ever since then, we've been really close."

Noah smiled knowingly, wiggling his eyebrows. "Really close, huh?"

Rachel smacked him playfully as her cheeks turned a deep red. "Anyway, I was going to go to the auditorium to meet her actually. We're going to study for that pre-calc test we have tomorrow."

"I'll walk you," Noah insisted, helping her up with a firm grip.

The pair walked in a comfortable silence down the empty halls towards the auditorium. Rachel's mind was racing. If Noah was insinuating what she thought he was insinuating then she was in trouble. She had basically vented to both of her closest friends about how much she didn't like being with Finn. Somehow in Noah's mind this was equivalent to her wanting something... more with Quinn, which couldn't be true. She was with Finn.

As she went to pull back the curtain, Rachel heard the sharp sound of a hand connecting to someone's face.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" a voice boomed.

"I-I-uh..."

Another smack. Rachel and Puck froze, hidden by the dark curtain.

"You-you-uh," the voice imitated, "Shut the fuck up, Finn! Do you even understand how lucky you are? You have the most beautiful, most talented, most adorable, kindest, cutest, and most amazing girlfriend in the entire world. Are you seriously going to trade that for a disgusting slobbery kiss with me? You really are dumber than I thought. Rachel deserves better than you. She deserves better than someone who doesn't appreciate her."

"I do appreciate her-,"

"No you don't," Quinn hissed, "Because if you really appreciated her, you wouldn't be in here trying to suck face with me. You are a stupid little boy who can't make up his stupid little brain. All last year while you were dating me you wanted her. Now you have her and who do you want? Me. I mean, do you even love her?"

Rachel heard the boy shuffle his feet.

"Of course I do."

Quinn scoffed. "Why?"

"I-uh...she's really pretty."

"Not good enough."

"She- she can sing really good."

"Not good enough."

"And," Quinn clicked her foot, awaiting his third reason.

"You are pathetic. She is beautiful, not pretty. She is unbelievably talented. Her voice is remarkable and destined to be heard by Broadway audiences. She doesn't sing good. When she opens her mouth she opens her soul."

Rachel took a deep breath, wiping a rogue tear that had escaped despite her efforts to contain it. Her heart swelled at Quinn's words. At the same time, it broke at the news that Finn had tried to kiss Quinn.

"Finn?" she asked, causing her boyfriend to jump out of his skin.

"Oh, he-hey, Rach. I was just...uh ... just talking to Quinn," Finn stuttered.

Puck trailed behind the petite brunette, watching as shit quite literally hit the fan. His eyes moved to Quinn, who was staring at Rachel with a look he couldn't quite describe. All he knew was that her eyes never left Rachel.

"You tried to kiss Quinn," Rachel stated quietly.

Puck knew that voice. That was the "I'm super pissed and hurt but am acting like I'm totally 100% percent fine even though I want to murder you," voice. He was lucky enough never to have that voice spoken to him. It was scary as hell.

"I-," Finn began.

"Don't," she growled.

Finn's eyes widened as he moved closer to her. "Rach, I'm really sorry. I didn't do it I-,"

"You didn't do it because Quinn smacked you in the face before you had the chance. I don't want to hear any apologies. This relationship is over."

"What?" Finn gaped.

With that, Rachel stormed out of the auditorium, twin rivers streaming down her face. Instantly, Quinn ran after her, the guilt of what she said growing with each step. After the girls had left, Finn stood in a daze center stage.

"You really fucked up, dude," Puck remarked cooly, before leaving the theater.

-/-

"Rach?" Quinn called as she stalked down the halls in search of her best friend.

The sound of whimpering immediately caused the blonde to freeze in her tracks. Choir room. Slowly, Quinn pushed the door open to find Rachel at the piano bench with tears staining her beautiful face.

"Hey," Quinn said lamely.

Rachel's face seemed to brighten a bit, but it returned to its devastated state so quickly that Quinn thought she imagined it. Tentatively, Quinn made her way towards the bench, carefully sitting down next to her distressed friend. Suddenly, Quinn's apology speech rushed out of her before she could reel it back in.

"I'm really sorry, Rachel. Finn was just being such an idiot. I shouldn't have slapped him or said those things or slapped him again. I'm a terrible friend and I'm really really so unbelievably sorry. And I-,"

A hand placed itself over hers. The warmth silenced her immediately. Quinn met Rachel's surprisingly calm gaze. Her eyes were rimmed with red from her crying. It broke Quinn's heart. She inwardly cursed out Finn Fucking Hudson.

"Quinn, stop apologizing."

"You're not mad at me?" Quinn asked incredulously.

Rachel shook her head and entwined her fingers with Quinn's. Quinn's stomach did backflips as her heart soared to her throat.

"See, I had been talking to Noah about Finn before I... found you and Finn. I wanted to break up with him. See, I think I could do better than Finn Hudson."

Quinn smiled softly. "You could much better."

Rachel sniffled as she squeezed the hand in hers. "I actually wanted to thank you."

With one eyebrow quirked, Quinn stared at the brunette with a look of confusion.

"Uhm... why?"

Tucking a strand of hair away from her eyes, Rachel took a breath.

"Because of all of those things you said about me in there. No one's ever said that about me and meant it. I-I think I finally realized how wrong Finn is for me. I need someone who appreciates me."

_Like me._

Quinn stifled her thoughts in favor of being a good friend first. Her heart was throbbing. Where was Rachel going with this? And when did she start using gender neutral pronouns?

"I guess I wanted to thank you for... for showing me what true love feels like."

"True love?" Quinn asked.

Rachel nodded, nervously taking Quinn's hand and guiding it towards her lips. A pair of heavenly soft lips caressed her skin, and Quinn's mind went blank. All she could focus on was the fact that Rachel was kissing her hand. Those delectable lips she had admittedly thought way too much about were finally kissing her.

"True love."

Quinn didn't know how to respond. Rachel was looking at her with deep eyes as she stroked her hand with her thumb. Clearing her suddenly dry throat, Quinn returned the kiss. Just as hesitantly, Quinn brought up Rachel's hand to her lips, relishing in the smooth skin, the taste of her body lotion, the sound of her heart pounding in her ears.

"It was my pleasure."

-/-

Quinn and Santana laid out on Santana's bed to do homework. Quinn's hand was still numb from slapping Finn's face twice. Hell, she was still numb after the conversation she had shared with the brunette. The only person she could ever talk about it with was the girl laying next to her with her head buried in a history textbook.

"Santana?"

"Yeah?"

Quinn breathed, repressing her emotions as best as she could. Her mind was racing.

"Have you ever been terrified?

"Of what?"

"Of loving someone?"

The brunette on her bed slid over to her side, knowing exactly where this conversation was headed. Carefully, she pulled her best friend into her arms. Santana wasn't an idiot. Something had happened with Quinn and Rachel. Santana was an expert on regret and fear. For years she had been scared of loving Brittany the way she could. Nights were spent tossing and turning, thinking of what could have been between her best friend and her, the potential dates, kisses, and sex. She thought about it all. Ninety-nine percent of her wanted all of that and more with Brittany; it was that one percent that held her back. Yes, Santana Lopez has been terrified of loving someone, of sharing a love so unbelievably great that it could destroy her in a second. Stroking her friend's blonde hair, Santana remained silent, not wanting to admit that she too had felt the fear associated with real love.

"I'm terrified, San. Loving her could kill me. I trained myself to write her off, to hate her, to ignore her, to erase all memories of our childhood. It only took a few months to reverse it all. I'm back at square one. I can't just can't imagine her loving me back. She can't love me back. It just doesn't add up. But it does somehow. I mean she's my best friend, of course I love her. Of course she loves me. But what does this all mean? She said I showed her what true love is after she dumped Finn. What does she mean by true love? True friendship or true romance? I don't understand. I can't imagine her loving me back because it would be too much for me to handle. My brain can't even process what that would be like because I've never felt anything like this before. I have no fucking clue of what I'm doing. What _am_ I doing? This could ruin us. I can't ruin us again. It'll kill me. But do I risk it? Do I risk losing her all together just to find out if she feels the way I feel? I don't know. I just don't know."

"Yeah you do. You've always known and so has she. You have to risk it. The thing is, though, you're not really risking anything. It's been obvious since day one that she loves you. If I didn't think she loved you, do you think I would have made you apply for that lifeguarding position? Would I have made you walk to her house at fucking midnight just to talk to her? I know you, Quinn. I've known you since I was fourteen, and I know that no one has made you happier than Rachel has."

Quinn shook in her arms, but Santana held tightly.

"I-I'm scared too, okay? Brittany makes me nuts sometimes. I mean, I think about what we could be and it drives me crazy. I need her too much because I know that if she rejects me my life is over. It's fucking scary to know that one girl has your heart and she can do whatever she damn likes with it. But you know what, Q?"

"What?" Quinn mumbled into her best friend.

"Sometimes I think you gotta be scared. Like, even though it sucks it would suck a whole lot more not to have her. For the most part life sucks, but I think when you find someone who can stick with you through all that suck and make the suck suck less, you gotta fight for them. It's worth a shot."

The blonde snuggled closer into Santana, who sighed, blinking back tears.

"Okay. I guess I'll talk to her," Quinn conceded.

"Good."

"Brittany loves you too, S. You'd have to be an idiot not to see that."

"She's with Artie."

Quinn chuckled, bringing her friend's face into her hands. Their eyes met instantly.

"Rachel was with Finn once. Remember what you said to me when I chickened out of kissing her? You called me a pussy. And I think now would be my cue to call you a pussy, pussy," she explained, sticking her tongue out playfully.

Santana rolled her eyes, even though Quinn was right. They were both pussies when it came to love. Quinn was terrified of losing Rachel as a friend. Santana was afraid of the heart-wrenching pain she'd feel when Brittany rejected her. Maybe it was worth it. She'd still have Quinn even if Brittany didn't want her, and she wouldn't leave Quinn if the hobbit, for some unGodly reason, didn't love her back.

"Well, you know what they say. Us pussies need to stick together."

Quinn giggled, nodding with a wobbly grin, as she fit her head in the nook of Santana's ever-steady shoulder.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

_November 10th, 2008_

_Freshman Year_

"_I don't understand your heart. It's easier to be apart"_

For most, Monday was a day to dread. Students sluggishly trudged into McKinley High School with heavy feet and tired eyes. Rachel, on the other hand, bounded down the halls to her locker every single day. Monday was no exception. Books in hand, the brunette was eager to start a new week of her rigorous freshman year. She knew her dream was to become a student of Juilliard, but she was no idiot. Achieving a dream as daunting as hers would not be a cake walk; it would require hard work and unrelenting determination.

Rachel had joined several, though at times completely random, clubs to compensate for her lack of athletic involvement. Adhering to a stringent schedule, Rachel had no time for being tired or hating Mondays. Noah had tried out for the football team in August and had made first string, one of the youngest students to make Varsity in McKinley's history. Though he had become much more popular than his best friend, Noah made a point of joining her for lunch and hanging out with her on the weekends when they could. It warmed Rachel's heart to know that she still had Noah looking out for her.

Rachel quickly twisted the lock to enter her combination. With a proud grin, she stared at her flawlessly organized space as she carefully traded her history and math binders for her biology books. Feeling warm, Rachel shed her jacket, took a deep breath, and let a smile tug her lips upwards. For some reason, she was feeling positive about today. She had spent the previous night slaving away working on an extremely important biology presentation which she was one-hundred percent certain she would nail. She was a brilliant speaker.

Suddenly, the bell signaling first period rang throughout the building, causing the students to scatter in various directions to their first period classes. Rachel swiftly shut her locker and turned to walk towards her biology classroom.

Without warning, a rush of cold drenched her entire body, as a cool liquid began its descent down her chest and legs. The laughter of three girls filled her ears that were currently in the process of completely freezing over. Rachel quite literally froze in her spot in the hallway. A small crowd gathered around the soaking wet brunette whose eyes were tightly shut and fists were even more tightly clenched. Her heart was pounding as a vicious shiver wracked her body.

Opening her eyes, the hallway slowly came into focus, the corn syrup from the liquid burning her eyes ruthlessly. She made out three girls dressed in matching red and white outfits standing in front of her, laughing. That laughter ignited a rage in her stomach. Slopping away the ice from her face, Rachel took a breath and fully opened her eyes. Who would do this? It couldn't be legal to douse a girl in a frozen beverage. It just couldn't be. Prepared to unleash her prepared speech about her legal rights and her right to sue, Rachel felt her voice vanish from her throat as she locked onto a pair of gleaming hazel eyes.

_Quinn?_

-/-

**Meet me and B at the superseven by the school**

Quinn had woken up to a demanding text from Santana at five a.m. Cheerios was sucking up literally all of her time, and Quinn felt herself stretch thinner and thinner as she stacked more responsibilities onto her plate. Not only was she enrolled in the hardest classes freshmen were allowed to take, but Quinn had been elected president of the celibacy club and was working on impressing one Sue Sylvester to make Head Cheerio next year.

Trying to blink the sleep out of her eyes, Quinn rolled out of her bed and tumbled towards the bathroom. Splashing cool water onto her face, the blonde stared at herself in the mirror. Dark rings resided beneath her dull hazel eyes. Before she could look further, Quinn grabbed a towel, dried off and then proceeded to get herself ready for the day. The day before her mother had hung her freshly dry-cleaned uniform on the closet door. Sliding on the skin-tight outfit, Quinn gathered her things together and trudged downstairs. Judy was watching the news while making herself breakfast, greeting her daughter warmly upon her entrance. Russell had already left for work an hour before.

"Morning, Quinnie!" she said with a grin.

"Morning," Quinn grumbled.

"You're up early."

"Santana wants me to meet her before class so I can help her with her geometry homework," Quinn lied through a mouthful of granola bar.

The elder woman bought it, and drove her daughter to school. Once the car was out of sight, Quinn hurried across the street into the seemingly empty convenience store. As soon as the door opened, Quinn was seized by Brittany and guided towards the back of the room.

"Morning, Q," Santana said with a smirk, aware of her friend's obvious tiredness.

"Shut up," Quinn spat back, "What are we doing here at 6:30am?"

Santana grinned her evil grin and procured a large cup, more appropriately named bucket, labeled "Big Gulp". It was filled to the brim with a blue liquid.

"A slushy?" Quinn asked. "You woke me up at 5am to get a stupid slushy?"

The brunette shook her head.

"It's not for me, moron. You know that dwarf Berry? You know, the freak with the weird sweaters and obnoxious voice?"

Quinn froze, trying to quell the rush of emotions invading her mind.

"Yeah, I know her."

"S, wants to throw this in her face!" Brittany exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down.

_What?_

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"The little demon bumped into me in the hallway yesterday. She needs to be taught a lesson. So, I say we ambush her with this bad boy. She'll never know what hit her."

Quinn shook her head.

"No way, S, she didn't even do anything to you!" Quinn protested.

Santana rolled her eyes.

"Quinn, do you want to be captain next year?"

Sighing, Quinn nodded.

"Do you want to be popular and rule the school next year?"

"I guess so, yeah."

"Then we have got to establish ourselves while we still can. We need to put RuPaul in her place so the entire school knows whose in charge," Santana persuaded, taking a sip of her coffee.

Quinn's stomach was churning. Rachel was her... well, Rachel wasn't her friend anymore; but she had been. That had to count for something, right? Even though Rachel was a freak in almost everyone's eyes at McKinley, the true Rachel was anything but a freak. She couldn't put Rachel through something like this, humiliate her in front of the entire school while dousing her in a freezing liquid. She had hurt the brunette enough. The guilt had only grown with their time apart.

"I can't," she said softly, eyes glued to the floor which had obviously not been mopped for several years. "Why can't we get popular the regular way, like, without bullying people?"

Santana laughed. "You're such a pussy, Q. You really think that Gracie Karter made it to the top without stepping over some losers and freaks? You think she got this popular without being mean and making herself known?"

"Maybe we don't have to be like Gracie!" Quinn fought back.

It might have been too late to salvage her friendship with Rachel, but it wasn't too late to protect her.

"Quinn, it won't be that bad. Slushies are super yummy, I mean like I would want one thrown in my face cuz then I could eat myself, and it would be so tasty. Santana won't let me though," Brittany encouraged her lightly.

"Don't even bother, B," Santana said condescendingly, "I think we chose the wrong girl to be our captain."

Quinn bit her lip harder, anger and rage building quickly. She was the perfect choice for Head Cheerio. She was athletic and a great leader. People followed her like puppy dogs. No, Quinn Fabray was not the wrong girl. She could be a bitch, ruthlessly bullying innocent students so she could thrive and become popular. Yeah, she could do that. She'd learned from her sister how to control people to get them to do what they wanted. And Rachel had Noah to protect her. He was a football player. Rachel would be okay, right? Slushies come out of clothing in the wash. There was a shower in the locker room she could use after.

Slowly, Quinn talked herself into publicly humiliating the one person in her life that ever truly understood her.

Grabbing the Big Gulp, Quinn swallowed down the lump in her throat and shut down all of her emotions as best as she could.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

Santana grinned, linking her arms with her two best friends. They walked across the street, united against the crowd. The sea of students parted naturally as they made their way towards the brunette's locker. Quinn's heart was beating out of her chest. Her entire body was screaming at her to stop, to unlink her arms and run to Rachel, to apologize and make things right; but she couldn't. Her fate was chosen the moment she agreed to join Santana and Brittany in their pursuit of popularity.

Her knuckles whitened around the cup when they reached the brunette. Quinn's facade broke when she saw Rachel smile at the neatness of her locker. Santana looked at her friend and saw that she was hesitant.

"Come on, Fabray," she hissed.

Quinn gulped and waited for the bell to ring. As soon as the bell rung throughout the halls and students left for class, Rachel turned around. Quinn closed her eyes, not wanting to see Rachel when she did what she had to do.

She released the liquid and heard its splash. Opening her eyes, she found Rachel staring at her with broken eyes. The bright blue slushy was dripping down every inch of her body causing Rachel to be standing in a puddle of ice. Her body shivered as Quinn's heart broke. The instant Rachel's lip quivered Quinn almost lost it.

Santana nudged her, laughing along with the crowd of students surrounding the scene.

_Right, okay, I can do this_.

"Watch where you're going next time, Treasure Trail."

The words just fell out of her mouth. It didn't feel like she had actually said them, that she had actually made Rachel break in the middle of the hallway. It didn't feel like she was the girl that made Rachel cry and sprint into the bathroom with a trail of blue forming after her. But she had said those words, and she had made Rachel break in the middle of the hallway, and she, despite every effort of her mind to convince herself that it wasn't true, made Rachel cry and sprint into the bathroom with a trail of blue forming after her. And it didn't feel real.

-/-

Rachel slammed the bathroom door, effectively scaring the other freshman that had just occupied it. The room became silent, save for her pathetic sobs, because that's what she was. She was pathetic. Angrily, Rachel grabbed a handful of rough paper towels and cleaned off her face, her eyes burning from the corn syrup.

Her heart just ached. Quinn's voice saying "Treasure Trail," repeated itself over, and over, and over until she cupped her ears with her hands and sank to the floor. Her sadness sunk her down, a heavy rock upon her heart. Those were the first words she had said to Rachel since fifth grade. They bore into her heart like a burning knife.

Rachel hadn't recognized the girl who had slushied her. She wasn't her Quinn. She was a stranger with cold and empty eyes that lacked those vibrant gold flecks. Her voice was harsh, so unlike the voice that had soothed her as a child. What had Rachel done? Why did Quinn suddenly hate her?

The confusion warped her brain as her clothing dampened and she began to shiver. It was official now. Quinn Fabray would never be her friend anymore. Without warning, a surge of anger rippled through her, and her sorrow and heart break transformed into pity and determination.

Quinn didn't deserve her. Rachel was better than the vengeful girl who had humiliated her in front of what felt like the entire student body. Rachel needed to forget her for good. No more lingering stares or glances in the hallways. No more wondering, thinking, hoping, wishing, dreaming for a better Quinn, her Quinn that she had loved as a child.

No. It was time to grow up. It was time to let go of her past and move on. She was destined for something better than Lima, for something better than Quinn Fabray and McKinley High School.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

_March 15th, 2010_

_Junior year_

"_The morning when you wake up"_

Rachel woke up Saturday morning with puffy eyes and a headache. Actually, it was Saturday afternoon. Rachel had never slept past nine o'clock in her life. According to her bright pink iPod dock, it was one in the afternoon. Light streamed through her white curtains and danced across her comforter, tickling her face. She groaned, rubbed her eyes, and threw the covers back, exposing her bare skin. Downstairs she could hear her parents clambering around preparing lunch. Rachel swung her legs off of the bed and walked the bathroom in a haze. A warm shower thoroughly woke her up. After drying off and throwing on a pair of jeans and a wool sweater, Rachel grabbed her purse and dragged herself to the kitchen.

Yesterday was a blur still. She had broken up with Finn. She had told Quinn she had opened her eyes to true love. Why did she do that again? Rachel sighed and greeted her parents.

"Morning, Dad, Daddy," she said as she squeezed them softly.

The men knew what had happened but not because Finn had tried calling ten times last night begging to speak with Rachel. It was quite easy for them to put the pieces together; Rachel and Finn had broken up.

"Morning, love," Hiram kissed her cheek. "How are you?"

Rachel shrugged and slid into her chair. "Honestly?"

"Always," Leroy replied, placing a leftover and reheated stack of pancakes on the kitchen table as Hiram drew their curtains to let in the sunlight.

"I broke up with Finn yesterday," Rachel confessed.

"Honey," Hiram cooed, rubbing his daughter's back gently. "What happened?"

With that, Rachel told her parents everything. She hadn't planned on doing so, but with her dads it always seemed to happen that way. They always knew when she was sad or happy. She really couldn't lie to them, not that she wanted to. It was just that she was still processing everything that had happened herself and wasn't sure if she'd be able to tell them without breaking down.

As soon as she began, Rachel retold all that had happened over the course of the last twenty-four hours. Finn trying to kiss Quinn. Quinn slapping Finn, defending her like Rachel was the most beautiful and important girl to her in the world. Since the start of her pursuit of the quarterback, Rachel had always compared herself to the blonde beauty. Finn loved her, was willing to father her child, and Rachel was determined to figure out why. She new Quinn was breathtaking, much more so than she was, so of course Finn loved her. Quinn was perfect. A flawless complexion combined with piercing hazel eyes lured in countless boys. She was athletic with a perfectly trim body. Most importantly, Quinn had power. She was at the tippy top of the school's hierarchy. Even now, after her pregnancy and fall from grace, Quinn had power as Santana's second-in-command woman. Of course Finn dated Quinn over her. Of course he tried to cheat on her with Quinn. And even though it hurt, Rachel understood why Finn wanted to kiss Quinn. Those lips looked more than delectable. Of course... Rachel meant that in a completely friendly way.

Who was she kidding?

Rachel knew she would have to break up with Finn sooner or later. Her feelings for Quinn couldn't be ignored any longer. It was becoming harder and harder for her to bury them deep within herself. Their summer friendship escalated into something Rachel couldn't quite put into words. In the hallways, her eyes automatically sought out the blonde. Quinn escorted her to each class. If anyone dared bully or slushy her, Quinn was ready to pounce and beat the shit out of them. They spent countless nights doing homework and talking about anything and everything. Before she knew it, Rachel was head over heals for Quinn Fabray. The moment she realized this was the moment Quinn defended her against Finn.

The fact that Quinn meant all of those things made her inexplicably happy. Quinn thought she was beautiful, and talented, and deserving of the best. She had been so chivalrous when she had slapped her idiotic ex-boyfriend, and when she had ran after her and apologized for doing something Rachel was swooning about.

Where she got the courage to finally kiss Quinn, even if it was just her hand, stumped the brunette; but never in a million years did she think the blonde would return the favor. She had been so gentle, carefully taking her shaking hand into hers and placing those unimaginably soft lips onto her skin. Rachel's heart actually stopped at the touch, her head swimming with feelings she didn't know how to explain. It made her think that maybe there was a chance that Quinn felt the same weird feelings for her too. Maybe.

Still, the fact that Finn wanted Quinn over her hurt more than she liked to admit. Her Friday night was embarrassingly spent eating vegan ice cream and sobbing while watching Lifetime movies on her television. She had no doubt in her mind that her fathers had overheard her, but she loved how they let her be, only to comfort her in the light of day.

"I'm proud of you," Leroy said when Rachel finished her story.

Hiram nodded in agreement. The men left the table to clean the messy kitchen. Rachel took a bite of her pancakes, though she wasn't hungry.

"Do you have any plans for the day?" Hiram inquired.

"Well, I was going to go visit Quinn at the pool. She'll be there until 2pm I think."

The men brightened at this as Rachel picked at her breakfast.

"You better get over there then!" Hiram encouraged, still mooning over the fact that Quinn had been so kind to his daughter.

Rachel giggled and finished up before setting off for the pool on her bike. The air was chilled, stealing away Rachel's warm breath as the harsh wind bore against her. Winter was almost over so she reveled in it. Snow covered the ground still, though there were several patches of dead grass scattered around residential lawns. When Rachel arrived at the pool, the parking lot was full as kids and parents loading and unloading into their cars. Feeling a bit out of place, Rachel walked inside. The lobby was decorated for St. Patrick's Day, and Rachel smiled at the children's hand-made shamrocks and leprechauns.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Edmonton!" she greeted as always, swiping her card.

The woman mumbled something, but Rachel didn't care. She traveled down the stairs and into the observation room. Because it was the afternoon, children were being given lessons and adults weren't allowed on the pool deck. Rachel took a seat next to a tired father and peered through the window.

Quinn stood with a clipboard in hand calling out the names of her students. One by one, boys and girls wobbled over to their tall, lean teacher in a bright red bathing suit. Rachel tried not to drool, but it proved a difficult task as her eyes raked down Quinn's body. Quinn set down her clipboard and guided her kids to the water's edge. They all sat on the wall, feet tentatively in the cool water, as they watched their teacher slide into the water.

"Brr!" Quinn shivered rubbing her shoulders, and the kids and Rachel giggled.

The children listened attentively as Quinn talked animatedly to them about the importance of using big arms and putting their faces in the water. Rachel beamed with pride. She watched as Quinn took each child by the hand, eventually letting go, and swam to the lifeguard stand, cheering each child on with enthusiasm.

Rachel had never seen Quinn so happy, so carefree. Her smiles were effortless, her enthusiasm never wavering. One boy began to cry when he saw his mother leave. Quinn came to his rescue, whispering something that made the tears stop and a smile spread across his face. She held out a hand to the boy, who took it immediately, giggling as she tickled his sides in the water. The children loved her, giggling and smiling at everything she said. Rachel watched as Quinn clapped with overwhelming pride as her children jumped by themselves into the deep end and paddled over to the ladder.

Quinn knew each child by name, teasing them softly as they told her the random silly things kids tell their teachers. After jumping in the water, Quinn guided her class back over to the shallow end of the pool where parents had begun to gather at the bleachers.

"Who wants to play a game?" Quinn shouted loudly enough for Rachel to hear through the glass.

All of the children screamed a loud "yes". Quinn ran her hand over her dampened hair with a smile. She began to play Simon Says, splashing the kids lightly when they did something Simon didn't tell them to do. Rachel imagined her laugh, that bubbling-over symphony of laughter that was unbelievably infectious.

Soon enough, it was 2pm, and the class was over. Quinn started at the end of the line, telling the children how incredible they had been that day, complimenting each child and rewarding them with a high-five. Once all of the kids had scampered off to their parents, Quinn lifted herself out of the water, droplets sliding down her shining skin. Rachel noticed she was the only one remaining in the observation room. Standing up, Rachel walked up to the window and just watched in awe.

Quinn talked to a few parents before grabbing a striped towel and wrapping it around her waist. The pool emptied slowly and before she knew it no one but Quinn and the other lifeguards and instructors remained. On Saturdays the pool closed early, so they said their goodbyes and left the pool.

Everyone left but Quinn, who disappeared into the break room, reappearing with a key and her bag. Rachel smiled, and left the room to head for the locker room. The room was deserted. Her eyes darted to her old locker that still held a note from what seemed like centuries ago, when in reality it had only been a few years.

Rachel heard a door open, and in walked Quinn with her bag slung over her shoulder and a towel wrapped around her body.

"Rach?" Quinn asked with a confused smile. "What are you doing here?"

Suddenly shy, Rachel looked down to her shoes.

"I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out with me today."

Quinn beamed, stepping closer to the brunette. "Are you sure you weren't just stalking me?"

Rachel blushed but shook her head. "No, that was not my intent, but I was lucky enough to witness you teaching for the first time."

The blonde suddenly became still, a blush pervading her cheeks.

"Oh," Quinn breathed.

"You are amazing with them, Quinn. You have nothing to be embarrassed about," Rachel reassured.

"No, I'm not embarrassed. I just didn't know you were there, that's all."

Rachel smiled, taking a seat on a bench. "I had no idea you were so good with kids."

Joining her, Quinn sighed. "Me neither. Over the summer, my boss just threw me into teaching when one of his instructors quit. I've been doing it ever since."

"You looked so...," Rachel began, tucking back a stray lock of hair. "You looked so happy."

Quinn smiled sadly. "Wanna know a secret, Rach?"

Rachel nodded, her heart suddenly racing a mile a minute.

"When I teach those kids, I pretend... I pretend that they're... mine. For thirty minutes, Rachel, I get to be a mom."

Without hesitation, Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"You are going to be an incredible mother, Quinn."

Quinn looked up with glassy eyes and connected with Rachel.

"You mean it?"

Rachel bit her lip. "Did you mean what you said to Finn about me in the auditorium?"

"Every word," Quinn said with confidence.

"Me too."

A tear escaped Quinn's hazel eyes, and Rachel whisked it away with a gentle flick of her thumb.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked softly, stroking the back of Rachel's hand with her thumb.

"Yes?"

The blonde remained silent. Rachel became hyper-aware of Quinn's breathing, Quinn's rapid heartbeat, of her every move.

"How did I... show you what true love is?"

Rachel stopped breathing. Somehow in the midst of all that had happened, Rachel had somehow forgotten that she had semi-confessed her feelings for Quinn in the choir room. Her mind was racing. What was she supposed to say?

Quinn stared at her, her face just inches from her own. Rachel's eyes darted down to Quinn's lips. Suddenly, everything made sense.

"Yesterday, after I heard you say all of those things about me," Rachel whispered, trying to maintain a steady breathing pattern, "I realized that I need someone who appreciates me, someone who loves me for all of my erotic crazy high maintenance weirdness and diva tendencies, someone who believes in me, someone who would fight for me, someone who could... love me."

Rachel took Quinn's chin into her free hand, swirling her thumb over Quinn's soft skin. Their eyes connected and every feeling Rachel had ever felt for Quinn exploded into a million fireworks.

She leaned upwards, letting Quinn's breath consume her. Their lips connected magnetically, stealing both girl's breath away.

Quinn gasped into Rachel's lips. If Rachel thought she felt fireworks a minute ago, she couldn't have been more wrong. Every nerve in her body imploded as a humming electricity rushed through every fiber of her being. Their lips pushed into each other, melding perfectly together.

Rachel pulled back an inch. Her eyes hooked onto Quinn's as a small almost shy smile pervaded her lips. The blonde was in a daze, seeing stars that Rachel's lips had caused to invade her vision. Was she dreaming? Rachel moved her hand over Quinn's pounding heart.

"I just realized that that someone was you."'

* * *

><p><em>AN: ooooh man! Development! What? I know I decided to make this story a really long build up to this moment, but I promise you there was a reason behind it. I really hope you liked this chapter as much as I love it. Please review, I want to know what you guys think._

_ALSO: Holy story alerts! Thank you guys for those too!_


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

_October 2009 - December 2010_

_Sophomore Year_

"_Trying to make a move just to stay in the game"_

Things got easier. Freshman year ended, Quinn Fabray was crowned Head Cheerio, and she spent the summer training intensely with Santana and Brittany, attending sessions sometimes twice a day for six hours a day. By the end of the summer, her body was perfectly toned and her ego was at its peak. She was Quinn Fabray, and she was going to rule McKinley. The only difference was now she believed it.

She'd be lying if she said she didn't think about Rachel. Ever since she threw that slushy, Quinn hadn't been able to stop thinking about... well about everything. Each time Santana or some football player ordered a slushy for the brunette, Quinn winced as she imagined the broken brown eyes that would be sure to follow the attack. As much as those eyes haunted her, tormenting Rachel came with the territory of being at the top of the pyramid. Rachel's love for theater and school, and her outgoing nature combined with extreme pride in herself made her a target in their school which unfortunately meant that she was Quinn's target too.

As the bullying became more frequent, something changed. Rachel stopped crying. She stopped breaking down in the hallway, rather she'd wipe the goop off of her face, pick up her things, and walk with her head held high to the bathroom. It boggled Quinn's mind.

For some reason, this infuriated Quinn. Bullying Rachel was her only way of communicating with her, even though she was hurting Rachel. She wanted to rouse the brunette, get her mad, get her to look at her, hell get her to speak to her. It was her only way in now.

When Finn Hudson, a dopey yet lovable quarterback asked her out over the summer, Quinn seized the opportunity. She knew he was nowhere near her type, but he was the quarterback. She was the head cheerleader. It was a couple made in her parent's heaven. Being with Finn was easy. He practically worshipped her and was mellow, never smothering her with pressures for more than she was willing to give.

It wasn't until Finn decided to join Rachel's glee club that being with Finn suddenly became a lot harder. Apparently, her boyfriend had a voice that had managed to capture the heart of one Rachel Berry. The instant Quinn saw Finn giving Rachel googly eyes in the hallway, her body ignited with rage. A vicious protectiveness she didn't know existed took over her, but it wasn't for Finn. It was for Rachel.

This scared her. It scared the shit out of her, so she masked her desire for the brunette with the desire for Rachel to stop chasing her boyfriend. The fight was addicting.

Rachel's eyes were dark and intoxicating. The way her tongue would wet her lips as she prepared her next quip mesmerized the blonde. Finn was far from her mind when Quinn was fighting with Rachel. She'd say certain things just to see how Rachel would react. She would push into Rachel just to smell her. She'd say things just to see how her eyes would flicker, how her body would quiver. It got to the point where Quinn began to notice more and more about her ex-best friend.

Like how insecure Rachel was but at the same time stronger than Quinn could ever have imagined. That small fragile girl she had met so many years ago had morphed into a strong-minded, confident, woman. Sometimes when they'd be in the midst of a fight, a sudden swell of pride would overwhelm the blonde that would soon be overridden by an even more overwhelming sense of guilt and regret. Quinn was the one who forced the brunette to toughen up. Maybe it was for the better.

All Quinn knew was that Rachel was better off without her. That much was crystal clear. Rachel had managed to move on and make herself into a better person than she would have ever become had she remained friends with Quinn. And that killed her, knowing that she would never be a positive force in Rachel's life.

One day, while waiting for Finn at his locker, Quinn saw Noah walking arm and arm with Rachel. Her cheeks were rosy as the boy whispered something funny in her ear. Jealousy bubbled up within, and in that moment Quinn hatched a plan.

It almost worked. Then she missed her period.

-/-

The first slushy hurt. It hurt worse than being ignored for ten years. The second slushy hurt just as much. By the third, her body was numbed but her heart throbbed. Each time the frozen drink was hurled at her face, Rachel's confidence shattered.

Then something miraculous happened. The slushies stopped hurting after a while. She focused on her dream, her voice, and her future, and by the end of freshman year, slushies didn't faze her. They were making her stronger, and as each drink drenched her body the anger she felt towards her attacker converted into motivation.

That is until she met Finn Hudson. He walked into the choir room unsure of himself, but when he opened his mouth, Rachel was blown away. She had found her perfect male lead. Of course, there were several obstacles standing in her way. Finn was popular. She was not. Finn was a football player, too manly to admit his love for music. Most importantly, he was dating head cheerleader Quinn Fabray.

Rachel wasn't sure when this development had occurred, but now every time she walked down the halls or sat in the cafeteria she noticed Quinn hand-in-hand with the gangly quarterback. They met at each other's lockers before and after class. Finn would always lean against the locker adjacent to Quinn's with a grin as Quinn plopped books into her bag.

Maybe they were in love. Rachel couldn't tell. All she knew was that seeing them together upset her more than she would ever admit. For a long time, Rachel thought she was jealous of the blonde and was fighting for Finn. The glee club desperately needed him, and it was her duty as self-appointed captain to save the club. At first her task was to keep him in the club; but her agenda switched towards acquiring Finn for herself. Or so she thought.

As soon as Rachel began to pursue Finn, Quinn pounced on the brunette.

"Eavesdrop much?" she spat at the brunette who was obviously listening in on the couple's fight. "Time for some girl talk, Manhands. You can dance with him. You can sing with him. But you will never have him."

Rachel was caught off guard. Suddenly, the scent of Quinn's perfume was clouding her brain and the blonde was staring at her with hungry dark eyes. For a moment she forgot why Quinn was upset with her in the first place. Regaining her composure, Rachel smiled artificially.

"I understand why you'd be threatened. Finn and I have made a connection. But I'm an honorable person. I don't need to steal your man. I've got plenty of suitors of my own."

Okay, so maybe she lied. Rachel had no suitors of her own, but even though she was sure Quinn knew that, she couldn't give Quinn the satisfaction.

"Every day Glee's status is going up and yours is going down. Deal with it."

Proud of her makeshift speech, Rachel twirled around right into the rush of an ice cold slushy.

_Great. Now I'm an even bigger joke. _

Still, despite the fact that her body was drenched in slushy, Rachel was buzzing with energy. That was the closest thing to an actual conversation she'd had with Quinn in five years. Her stomach burned when Quinn's eyes locked onto hers. All she wanted was to keep fighting, to keep Quinn's attention.

So Rachel kept pursuing Finn, only she never planned on it working. They met in the auditorium for what was supposed to be an innocent rehearsal. Rachel would never condone cheating, but when Finn leaned in her body just reacted and leant into the kiss.

His lips caressed hers nervously, and Rachel reveled in her first kiss. Finn was everything she wanted. And then he jumped off of her, froze, and ran off. Her heart broke, but the guilt killed her more than she anticipated.

She cheated with Finn. What if Quinn found out? Her mind raced and raced, but eventually she realized that Quinn would never find out.

A few weeks later she found out Quinn was pregnant. That was when her heart truly broke. Rachel knew the Fabrays. She knew that if they were ever to find out Quinn was done for. Yet, she could do nothing but ward off Finn and support the blonde from a distance. As the weeks wore on, Rachel realized that she couldn't keep fighting with Quinn. Yes, she loved the attention, loved the fire in Quinn's now dulled eyes, but what she really loved was Quinn's smile.

After Quinn joined glee, Rachel realized that Quinn had a voice, and not an amateur one either. It was soothing and soft, like warm honey. When Quinn stopped coming to rehearsal, Rachel was immediately concerned. She couldn't keep on fighting and pretending to hate Quinn.

It wasn't until Jacob approached her that Rachel had the chance to do something for Quinn. He threatened to post about the pregnancy on his blog. She ignited with anger. How dare he try to purposely ruin Quinn's life? Rachel couldn't let it happen, so she gave the pervert a pair of her underpants to protect Quinn... and Finn of course, or at least that was what she told herself.

The girls came to a truce and kept at a distance. Rachel and Quinn came to a standstill for a while, but when Sue ordered Jacob to post about the pregnancy and Rachel watched as Quinn's life crumbled around her, Rachel knew that she had to do something. She had to show Quinn that she would be there for her no matter what.

She prepared a number, staying up until three in the morning choreographing and practicing to her fathers' annoyance. During lunch, she assembled her fellow members and taught them the dance. The entire rest of the day she couldn't sit still, her body fidgety from the anticipation.

"Quinn?" she said, approaching the girl after school.

Her hair was down in wavy curls. She wore a simple blouse and a skirt. Simply put, she was beautiful, a beautiful tragedy. Her eyes were broken as she turned to face the brunette.

"What do you want?" Quinn whispered with a raspy voice.

"Come to the auditorium. I-," Rachel stopped herself. "We prepared something for you."

The blonde stared at her with a confused face. Rachel smiled softly.

Rachel sang like she had never sung before. For a few minutes, she bore her eyes into the girl she grew up with and tried with all of her soul to convey that she still loved her and that everything was going to be okay. As the song came to its climax and Rachel's fingers threaded through Finn's, she couldn't help but pretend they were Quinn's.

Afterwards, once everyone left, Rachel hung back because she knew Quinn would be waiting for Finn to get his car. Quinn sat on the edge of the stage, legs dangling, hand on her stomach. Rachel walked to her slowly, plopping herself down beside the blonde.

They didn't say anything. Rachel didn't know what to say even if her mouth had been functioning. Though her eyes were focused on the vacant auditorium, her entire body was attune to Quinn. She heard Quinn sigh then sniffle.

Scooting over, Rachel let her body brush against Quinn's. Then she felt Quinn's head drop to her shoulder. Rachel couldn't help but smile, even if Quinn was falling apart. It was just that Quinn was finally Quinn again. She was human again.

Rachel snaked her arm around Quinn's waist and pulled her in closer. They remained this way for a while, listening to the sounds of their breathing. It wasn't until they heard Finn's loud footsteps that they jumped apart, blushing profusely, and said goodbye with a look. Rachel's heart was throbbing as she watched Quinn walk away with Finn's arm around her shoulder protectively.

-/-

Quinn didn't know what had come over her. One minute Rachel and the glee club were singing to her, the next she was sitting on the stage with Rachel's arm around her waist and her head on the brunette's shoulder.

She was just so tired, so tired that she didn't care to fight what she was feeling. Everything was wrong. She wasn't a cheerleader anymore. She wasn't popular anymore. Everything was a lie, but Rachel didn't seem to care.

Earlier that week, Finn had tried to suggest baby names during their Spanish names. Could he be more insensitive? She had explicitly told him that she didn't want to keep the baby.

After she scolded him, Finn, exasperated, yelled, "You know, sometimes I wish you were a little more like Rachel!"

She yanked her locker open, the words hitting her like a freight train. Clenching her fists, Quinn turned to her boyfriend.

"Really?" she asked, repressing her emotions relentlessly, though one tear managed to escape.

"Yeah. She's cares about my feelings. She sticks up for me. She sticks up for both of us. You know that she gave that Jacob kid a pair of her underwear just so he wouldn't post on his blog about you being pregnant?"

Quinn tried not to laugh. Rachel, defending her, after all she's done to her? Yeah, right. She didn't deserve it, not for a second.

"You think she did all of those things for me? Just to be a good teammate?"

"Yeah," Finn said, "That's what she told me."

Quinn shook her head sadly, hands on her hips. He really was a moron, a moron hopelessly in love with Rachel Berry, and too scared to break up with her.

"I know some guys cheat on their wives and pregnant girlfriends. Just don't do it with her."

Slamming her locker shut, Quinn stormed off to the girl's restroom, were she puked her lunch up. Once she was cleaned up, Quinn stared herself down in the mirror. Rachel couldn't have done those things for her. It just wasn't possible. After all she had done to her, abandoning her as a child, slushying her in the face, the names, the drawings, after everything it just wasn't possible.

And yet she still had hope that Rachel had done those things for her. She still hoped that Rachel cared enough about her to give that perve a pair of her panties, that she still cared enough to help save her reputation.

Later in the week, after Jacob and Sue ran the story, Quinn was distraught. Finn clumsily tried to comfort her, but how could anyone possibly comfort her? Her life was over. She felt everything falling apart, and there was nothing she could do about it.

The next day, Rachel had approached her with a surprise song of some sort. The brunette guided her to the auditorium where she was greeted by the club. They were dressed in white, with the band faithfully behind them, ready to begin the number. Thrown into the number, Quinn sang and danced until all of her feelings broke free to the point where they were uncontrollable. The swell of voices that surrounded her reminded her that she wasn't completely alone. Still, amidst the harmonies, Quinn could always pick out Rachel's voice, and it was that voice that comforted her the most.

Why they all cared was beyond her, especially Rachel. She couldn't help but lean her head on Rachel's shoulder when the girl sat down closely beside her, waiting for her to leave with Finn even though Quinn knew Rachel was busy. Everything just felt like too much.

When Quinn thought about the future, telling her parents, having her baby, giving it away, Quinn felt suffocated. Her life was spinning radically out of control and there was nothing she could do about it.

But with Rachel, for a few minutes, the world wasn't crashing down on her. It almost didn't seem real, how quiet and peaceful it was for those few minutes. She was a rock, not lying to her and telling her it would be okay because they both knew it wouldn't. Instead Rachel simply offered her a shoulder, an arm around her waist, and a calm presence. Quinn's body melted momentarily, and she tried to forget everything. Of course Finn had to stomp in and cause her to fly out of the brunette's arms.

Their eyes met as Quinn pulled herself off the ground and flattened out her blouse. Rachel didn't say a word but her eyes, those eyes, seemed to say something. They were telling her that someday, maybe, everything will be okay. And surprisingly, Quinn chose to believe them. She had to believe them.

For now, she'd have to wait.

* * *

><p><em>A.N: Hey hey hey! Thank you all so so much for all of the awesome reviews, story alerts, and favorites! You guys are so incredible! I Hope you enjoyed this chapter, though I admit there is so much more to come that I'm excited about. Please drop me a review though! I love all opinions, criticism included. Happy Monday!<em>


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

_April 30th - May 2nd, 2011_

_Junior Year_

"_It's a lonely road that you have chosen"_

Quinn unintentionally spent the night at Santana's. When she woke up, the brunette's body was splayed across the entire bed. Quinn smiled sleepily before realizing that she had work.

Jumping out of the bed, Quinn quickly grabbed her things, ran downstairs, and thanked Mrs. Lopez. She ran home as fast as she could because she was due at the pool in half an hour. After throwing on her bathing suit and downing a bowl of cereal, Quinn proceeded to persuade her mother to drive her to the pool. Normally, Quinn just walked, but today that was not an option. Her boss did not tolerate tardiness, and Quinn was not about to get on his bad side, especially not on a Saturday morning.

"How was school yesterday?" Judy asked awkwardly as they drove to the pool.

"Uh," Quinn hesitated, "it was alright I guess."

"Why didn't Rachel come over last night? I made sure to restock our vegan ice cream supply."

Quinn smiled. Her mother really was something. Ever since Rachel and Quinn resumed their friendship, Judy had become heavily involved in their relationship. All of their meals were vegan friendly, and Judy made sure to make the tiny brunette feel at home when she was at the Fabrays'.

"She had a rough day yesterday. I think she just needed some alone time," Quinn replied vaguely.

Judy's expression dropped. Quinn stifled a laugh, her heart warming at the fact that her mother was so concerned about Rachel.

"Is she alright? What happened? Should we bake her some cookies? I can bake some cookies, I think I still have leftover dough from making Valentine's Day ones..."

"Mom, Rachel doesn't need cookies. She just... she broke up with Finn last night, and I decided to give her some space. Everything's fine," Quinn reassured as they pulled up to the entrance.

Judy put the car in park, the concern still laced in her expression.

"Well, if she needs anything you tell her that we're here for her. You got that?"

"Yeah, Mom," Quinn said with a giggle, leaving the warmth of the car into the cool almost-spring air.

Despite the early nature of her job, Quinn loved Saturdays. She loved getting to teach and play with her students. Quickly, Quinn swiped in, filled out her time sheet, and got ready for her classes. Organizing her attendance sheets, Quinn prepared the lesson plans for each one of her classes. Today she had seven classes to teach, each half an hour long. Luckily she got a break for lunch which would probably end up being a granola bar from the vending machine.

When Quinn saw her little toddlers come racing down the ramp, her heart fluttered as she began to anticipate the lesson. She greeted them all with a grin and a high five before she brought them to the wall and slid into the cool water.

The day went by too quickly, and before she knew it her final lesson was over. Quinn watched as the little boy who had cried that day ran to his mother, who he soaked in a bear hug. After everyone filed off the pool deck, Quinn said her goodbyes, locked up, and got ready to walk home.

Locking the door behind her, Quinn walked into the humid locker room. To her surprise, her best friend was waiting for her with a timid smile.

"Rach?" she asked, grinning back with a bright albeit confused smile. "What are you doing here?"

The brunette was adorable when she was shy. Looking down to the floor, Rachel responded to the question.

"I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out with me today."

Quinn couldn't help but swoon at the girl's antics. Rachel could be so overly confident and verbose and yet at the same time be so insecure and unsure of herself.

"Are you sure you weren't just stalking me?" Quinn teased, hoping to make Rachel feel more comfortable.

"No, that was not my intent, but I was lucky enough to witness you teaching for the first time."

Now it was Quinn's turn to blush. Rachel had seen her? Rachel had seen her teaching? Suddenly, Quinn was the one who was insecure. No one, not even Santana, had seen her teach. It was something she kept to herself because it was the only thing she truly loved to do.

"Oh," Quinn replied nervously.

"You were amazing with them, Quinn. You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

Terrible at receiving compliments, the blonde continued to blush harder, her cheeks flaming with embarrassment.

"No, I'm not embarrassed," she denied. "I just didn't know you were there, that's all."

The brunette made her way to a bench, sitting down gracefully. "I had no idea you were so good with kids."

"Me neither," Quinn admitted, joining Rachel on the hard bench. "Over the summer, my boss just threw me into teaching when one of his instructors quit. I've been doing it ever since."

"You looked so... you looked so happy," Rachel remarked with another nervous smile.

Quinn tried to offer her a smile back, but it came out lopsided. Of course she was happy teaching, but the reason why wasn't as happy. It brought her back to the worst moments of her life.

"Wanna know a secret, Rach?"

Rachel nodded. Quinn's heart was pounding. She had never told anyone this before. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to say it out loud.

"When I teach those kids, I pretend... I pretend that they're... mine. For thirty minutes, Rachel, I get to be a mom. I get to be their mom," she said in a breathy whisper.

Before Quinn could process the fact that she had just admitted to perhaps one of her biggest secrets, Rachel's hand was in hers, giving it an encouraging squeeze. She desperately tried to keep it together.

"You are going to be an incredible mother one day, Quinn."

Quinn almost lost it. Rachel couldn't mean that. She just couldn't.

"You mean it?"

Rachel bit her lip adorably, and Quinn just watched, mesmerized by her everything.

"Did you mean what you said to Finn about me in the auditorium?"

"Every word," Quinn said without hesitation.

And she had. She had meant every word because Rachel deserved better than Finn. It took a lot of self control to not to punch Finn in the balls then and there, but for Rachel's sake she had restrained herself. She was just infuriated because Rachel sold herself so short when it came to love. She deserved the best, and Finn was not the best for her.

"Me too," Rachel whispered.

Quinn couldn't help but cry at that. How was she so perfect? How was it that Rachel could make her cry yet be so inexplicably happy at the same time? The girl wiped her tears for her. The touch set her on fire, bringing her back to yesterday in the choir room when Rachel kissed her hand.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked softly, curiosity getting the best of her.

Without thinking, she began to stroke the back of Rachel's hand with her thumb.

"Yes?"

Quinn wasn't sure if she could go through with it. Her heart was in her throat, Rachel was staring at her with a puzzling expression, and all Quinn wanted to do was kiss those succulent lips.

"How did I... show you what true love is?" she managed to asked.

Quinn watched the brunette intently. She seemed nervous all of a sudden. Their faces were just inches from each other, and Quinn saw Rachel's eyes dart down to her lips.

_Wait, what? _

"Yesterday, after I heard you say all of those things about me," Rachel began slowly, "I realized that I deserve to be with someone who appreciates me, someone who loves me for all of my neurotic crazy high-maintenance weirdness and diva tendencies, someone who believes in me, someone who would fight for me, someone who could... love me."

Suddenly, Rachel had Quinn's chin in her hand. Quinn felt Rachel swirl her thumb over Quinn's burning cheek. Her heart was throbbing, but when their eyes connected everything stopped. Her heart stopped. Her mind stopped. The entire world stopped, until Rachel began to move towards her lips, her breath blowing against Quinn's cheeks.

Rachel's lips were softer than Quinn had ever imagined. Her entire body was shaking, a fire igniting in the pit of her stomach. Quinn gasped into Rachel's lips, pushing harder into them, wanting more of Rachel, and somehow they fit together perfectly.

But then Rachel stopped and pulled back. Quinn felt numb, every nerve in her body on overdrive. Was she seeing stars? Of course, Rachel Berry would make her see stars.

Rachel's eyes were intoxicating, and Quinn held onto her gaze for dear life. She still couldn't believe any of this was happening. Was she dreaming? Quinn felt a small hand graze over her heart.

_Oh God. I hope she can't hear my heartbeat. Jesus, why is it so freaking loud?_

Rachel opened her mouth and said the words Quinn had been waiting to hear for months.

"I just realized that that someone was you."'

This couldn't be happening. Quinn couldn't believe it. Did Rachel want to be with her?

"What?" she somehow managed to get out.

The brunette smiled, lowering her hand to intertwine with Quinn's. Quinn's heart almost exploded. Could that happen? Heart attack caused by someone holding her hand?

"I want to be with you, Quinn," Rachel whispered, placing another kiss on her lips.

Suddenly, the room began to get smaller, the walls closing in on her. This was what she wanted, right? She knew she wanted Rachel, but this was too much. Everything was happening too fast. Her mouth wasn't functioning. She couldn't say anything. Why couldn't she say anything? She wanted to scream that she wanted to be with Rachel too. God, that was all she wanted.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked brokenly.

-/-

_Why isn't she saying anything? _

Rachel began to panic.

"I-," Quinn began, but couldn't finish, tears forming in her eyes.

Something was silencing her that Rachel didn't understand.

"Don't- don't you want to be with me too?"

Quinn stared at her, unable to speak. Rachel's heart ripped in half, the pain cutting through her core. Why didn't she want to be with her? Quinn had kissed her back. Rachel had felt Quinn's lips press eagerly, hungrily, into hers. She couldn't have imagined that. What was wrong? What was wrong with her? Nothing made sense. None of it made sense. Was she not pretty enough? Was she not funny enough? Was she not good enough?

For the past few months, Rachel felt like something clicked between them. They fell into a rhythm that was as easy as breathing. Quinn made her days better, and Rachel thought that maybe she made the blonde's days better too. For some reason, she thought they fit. They were just two souls that happened to run into each other and just lock in. Maybe she was wrong. But how could she be wrong?

"Are you embarrassed by me?" Rachel asked, yanking her hand away from Quinn's as if it was on fire.

"What?" Quinn asked, finally finding her voice. "Of course not! Why would you think that?"

Rachel's eyes widened. "Why would I think that? Let me think, Quinn. You ignored me for twelve years of my life. You were too afraid to be my friend in public so instead you just strung me along for years, being my friend only when we were alone. And why? Because your Mommy and Daddy told you so. You're a coward, Quinn. You're so afraid of what everyone thinks that you'll throw away the only person in your life who actually knows you!"

Rachel was breathing hard, tears streaming down her face. When the janitor walked in to see if he could clean the bathrooms, she yelled in his face, screaming at him to get out.

"Rachel, I-," Quinn tried, but she was immediately cut off.

"No!" Rachel shouted, shaking her head profusely as she began to pace the room.

Of course Quinn wouldn't want to be with her. How could she have been so stupid? The one time she decided to take a risk and it completely backfired. How could she have been stupid enough to think that Quinn felt the same way? She felt humiliated, naked almost, as Quinn gaped at her as she paced up and down the room.

Rachel wasn't popular. She was a loser, an ugly, big-nosed loser. Why would Quinn feel the same? Why would Quinn love her back? Quinn stared at her, mouth agape, unable to speak. The fact that Quinn wasn't denying any of it broke her heart further. She was right. Quinn didn't feel the same. How could she possibly feel the same?

"I-I'm sorry that I kissed you, Quinn," Rachel said, trying not to hyperventilate. "I'll try not to embarrass you further."

Rachel couldn't look at Quinn. She couldn't look into those broken hazel eyes and stay mad at her. So she stormed off, running up the stairs, racing past Mrs. Edmonton, and onto her bike. She began to pedal furiously. Everything was falling apart.

Finn rejecting her was one thing. Quinn rejecting her, on the other hand, made her want to crawl into a ball and die. Her tears were flowing steadily as the wind cut across her face. Her stomach ached with longing, the thought of what could have been ripping her apart. It was like she missed something she never had. It was just the possibility of Quinn loving her back had wormed its way into her mind. Now that it would never be, she felt empty, but not all the way. Her chest was only half empty. Quinn was still here, still alive, still fucking beautiful and perfect. She just wasn't in love with Rachel. And it killed her.

Rachel pedaled harder, fearing that she might break her bike. She pedaled to the only place she felt safe. Humiliated, Rachel threw her bike onto the yellowish lawn and knocked loudly on the door.

"Rach?" Puck asked, but as soon as he saw his best friend he simply pulled her into his arms.

She would explain later. For now, Rachel cried into the arms of the boy who, unlike Quinn, would never disappoint her, would never break her heart.

-/-

_Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. _

This was it. Santana Lopez was not going to be a pussy any longer. After Quinn left on Saturday she had spent her weekend writing a speech, she would never admit to writing. As she walked down the hallway towards the tall, lean blonde at her locker, Santana's mind raced. Was it normal for her heart to be pounding this fast? She wrung her hands together, finally reaching her destination.

"Hi," she breathed nervously, berating herself internally for sounding so damn nervous.

"Hey," Brittany responded quietly.

"Can we talk?"

Brittany looked at her, blue eyes bursting with color. "But we never do that," she said honestly, putting a few books away in her locker.

She was right. They ever talked, not until today at least.

"I know," Santana admitted, "but... uhm... I- I've been doing a lot of thinking."

Brittany stared at her with a half-there-half-not-there gaze. Santana felt the tears burn in the back of her eyes, and her throat begin to close.

"What I've realized is why I'm such a bitch all of the time," she took a breath. "I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings... feelings for you... that I'm afraid of dealing with because-"

_God dammit why the fuck am I crying? Get it together, Lopez._

"I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences."

The blonde nodded absently. Santana read her face instantly.

"Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?"

"No, not really," Brittany admitted.

Why did she have to be so cute? And why did she have to make Santana spell things out for her word for word? She was terrible with words.

"I want to be with you."

The instant the words left her mouth and were freed into the atmosphere, Santana felt a load lift off of her shoulders. She had wanted to say that to Brittany since they were in seventh grade.

"But I'm afraid of the talks... and the looks. I mean you know what happened to Kurt at this school!"

Brittany smiled softly. "But, honey, if anyone were to ever make fun of you, you'd either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words."

Santana would have laughed at that, but right now her heart, hell, her life was on the line right now. And these goddamn tears would not stop trying to get out of her eyes, and she couldn't see or think straight.

"Yeah I know, but, I'm so afraid of what everybody will say behind my back."

Brittany frowned, obviously upset that her best friend was crying and hurting. Santana took a deep breath.

"Still, I have to admit that... that I love you. I love _you_ and I don't want to be with Sam or Finn or any of those other guys. I just... want you. And I know you're with Artie now, but he doesn't love you like I do. And, I know that you chose him, and I need to accept that too now, but just, please say you love me back. Please."

Santana braced herself for rejection, but it never came. Instead, Brittany beamed at her with that dopey, adorable, heart-stopping, beautiful smile, and took her hand.

And then there, in the middle of the hallway, Brittany leaned in and placed a gentle, chaste kiss on her lips.

"But, what about Artie?"

Brittany smiled, squeezing her hand. "I broke up with him. Lord Tubbington told me that he and his robot friends were scanning his diary up to their spaceship. And he called me stupid. So uncool."

"So uncool," Santana said in agreement, puling her girl close into her and wrapping her arms around her waist.

Their lips melded together.

"I love you, S," Brittany whispered into her lips.

Santana was sure this was a love that could destroy her. She knew it could ruin her, kill her if it wanted to. Only now she was willing to risk it. She was willing to risk it all for the tall lean blonde kissing her in the middle of the fucking hallway.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Okay I apologize for angst, but please hang in there! Also, thank you all so much for reviewing and favoriting and story alerting! I love hearing from you guys so please drop me a review :D Happy Wednesday!_


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

_September 5th, 2005_

_Sixth Grade _

"_I'd really love to tell you"_

Clutching the phone to her ear, Judy felt her heart wrench. It was a Thursday afternoon. Quinn had just arrived home from school and had proceeded to lock herself in her room for the past hour. The past week had been filled with puppy dog eyes begging her to let her keep taking lessons. Quinn had placed her bathing suit in her mother's laundry basket, hoping to remind her that today was her first class. This year she would be at a porpoise level, and Quinn refused to accept that her time at the pool was over. Judy was powerless. Each time Quinn looked up at her to plead her case, Judy had to say no to those innocent hazel eyes, and each time her heart broke.

Russell still was unaware of Rachel and Quinn's friendship, but he and Leslie had decided that Quinn was too old. Judy could do nothing to fight for her daughter and her friend. Each week for the past five years, Judy had watched the girls interact. She saw their faces light up like Christmas trees at the sight of the other. From the observation room, Judy had sat and watched the girls giggle and play, encouraging each other on from one end of the pool to the other. She saw her daughter conquer her fear of the deep end because Rachel had whispered something in her ear and had cheered her on from the water.

Rachel was a part of Quinn, a secret part, but an integral part of her nonetheless. Quinn was always happy with the young brunette, always laughing and always smiling. Judy had watched them grow up together, and now they reached a crossroad. The worst part was that neither girl had a say in what happened to their friendship. They were even more powerless that she was.

The phone rang, and rang, until a cranky old woman answered with, "Lima Community Center, how may I help you?"

"Uhm, yes, this is Judy Fabray, Quinn's mother. I was calling to... to take her out of this session of swim lessons."

"One second, please."

Judy began to tap her pen nervously against the counter.

"What's your name again?"

"Judy. Judy Fabray," the woman answered.

"And you want to take your daughter... let's see here, Quinn out of swim lessons?"

She took a deep breath because every muscle in her body telling her that this was the wrong decision.

"Yes."

-/-

Quinn laid in her bed, staring up at her ceiling. A lengthy note laid in her desk drawer. It hadn't seen the light of day since the morning after she wrote it. Today was the day lessons were going to resume. Today, Rachel would scamper down the ramp expecting to see Quinn and end up being heartbroken.

Sixth grade had started the day before, and when Quinn had seen Rachel at her locker, not quite tall enough to reach her binder, she had resisted the urge to help the brunette. Ignoring her at school had become second nature at some point; Quinn wasn't sure when, but now that they were in middle school Quinn worried that Rachel would be bullied.

The eighth graders were bigger than she was. She'd be killed if she were to ever defend Rachel. Not that she'd have the courage to protect her in the first place.

School that day had been uneventful. All of her classes seemed too easy for the blonde, so in class she was left to her own imagination to entertain her. She'd daydream of swimming in the Caribbean, with Rachel in toe, dodging schools of fish and floating above grand coral reefs. She transported herself to their secret island, where no one in the entire universe could bother them. She let their past adventures consume her as her teachers lectured about the importance of handing work in on time and remembering their locker combinations.

And now, Quinn was about to ruin the one friendship in her life she valued above all others. She had to figure out a way to convince her mother to let her leave the note in Rachel's locker. It was the only way to explain to Rachel why all of this was happening, why she couldn't take swim lessons anymore, and why all of this was ripping her apart.

Jumping off of her bed, Quinn walked to her desk, opened the drawer, and held the letter in her hands. She read it every night before she went to bed. The words she wrote were always dancing around her mind, reappearing with a vengeance without warning.

Her fingers gripped the wrinkled looseleaf. Opening it slowly, Quinn wandered back to her bed to read.

_Dear Rachel,_

_I know you are probably really really mad at me right now because I'm not at swim lessons. My mommy and daddy say that I'm too old now to take them. My sister needs to get me ready for cheerleading too. I don't want to stop though because now I can't see you anymore. _

_I'm sorry that I don't talk to you in school and that I'm not with you at the pool right now. Please don't be mad at me, Rachel. I wish I could be there. I really do. _

_You're my best friend. When we're at the pool, I always have so much fun playing with you. All of my friends at school aren't like you. They only want to know what clothes I'm wearing and if I have a bra yet. You like to talk to me about silly things, and not silly things, and things those other girls don't care about. You're really special too, more special than me. I just thought I should tell you that. Because you are. _

_Remember when we had that play date at my house? We were on the trampoline, and you were sad because people in school didn't want to be your friend. I told you that everybody in our school was too good for you. Even me. I just thought I should tell you that too. Because it's true. _

_Remember our secret island? Remember how no one else but us knew about it? I wish we could go there sometime. Then we could be friends forever. I'd really like that. I want to be your friend forever. But I can't because my daddy will get mad at me. And I don't want him to get mad at me. _

_Remember that time I gave you a Valentine at the pool? I want you to always have that because I love you. And you're a shining star just like the ones in the sky at night. _

_I'm sorry, Rachel. I really really am. I know you're mad at me and probably hate me and don't want to be my friend anymore. But I really want to be your friend forever. I just don't know how to do that yet. _

_Love,_

_Quinnie_

Quinn sniffled, wiping away a rogue tear, until she got an idea. She tossed the letter on her bed and ran to her desk. Grabbing her favorite pen, Quinn scribbled out an important addition to her letter.

_PS. I love you. I just thought you should know that too. Because it's true. _

With a wobbly smile, Quinn folded up the letter and made her way downstairs. When she entered the kitchen, her mother was hanging up the phone. Her eyes were sad, and Quinn could sense something was wrong.

"Mamma?"

"Yes, Quinnie?"

Quinn walked towards the table, letter in hand.

"Can I go to the pool today?"

Judy sighed, looking down to the floor. "No, honey, you don't have swim lessons anymore."

"I know, but I need to give Rachel this letter," Quinn persuaded, showing her mother the letter she had poured her heart into.

"What letter?" her mother asked, eyeing the paper in her daughter's hand.

"I want to tell Rachel why I'm quitting," Quinn explained vaguely.

Just as Judy was about to speak, Russell burst through the back door, briefcase slung over his shoulder and a cup of coffee gripped in his hand.

"Russell!" Judy exclaimed, bouncing over to take her husband's briefcase and lighten his load.

He kissed her on the cheek, letting her take his bag so he could go and greet his daughter. Kissing her on the head, Russell placed a heavy hand on Quinn's shoulder.

"How's my Quinnie?" he asked while he gestured for Judy to get him a glass of scotch.

Quinn hid the letter under her dress and smiled. "I'm good, Daddy."

"How is your training with Leslie going?"

Quinn kept her emotions in check. "It's good, Daddy. We went running around the block yesterday."

"That's my girl," he praised, taking his scotch without a thank you and going to the living room to watch Glenn Beck.

Quinn ran to her mother and practically begged to go to the pool.

"Please, Mamma. I don't want Rachel to hate me."

Judy frowned, suddenly nervous that her husband would hear their conversation.

"I'm sorry, Quinnie."

Quinn protested, the tears now visibly trailing down her cheeks. Shaking her head violently, Quinn cried out for help.

"But, Rachel's gunna hate me, Mamma! I need her to have this!"

Judy tried to calm her daughter, attempting to pull the devastated blonde into her arms; but Quinn lashed out, pushing away her arms.

"Don't touch me!" she screamed, causing Russell to return from his armchair.

"What is going on here?" his voice boomed as he eyed his distraught daughter and embarrassed mother.

"Quinnie is just upset that we're making her stop taking swim lessons," Judy lied quickly.

Russell was skeptical. His daughter was crying softly, her eyes never meeting his.

"Quinn," he said quietly, "now you know that you are much too old for these silly lessons. You are going to be such a great cheerleader, but if you keep wasting time at the pool you won't be able to train. Don't you want to make us proud and be head cheerleader like your mom and Leslie?"

Quinn nodded, eyes glued to the floor.

"Look at me," Russell ordered, causing the blonde to jump almost imperceptibly.

Quinn raised her head to meet the stern gaze of her father. They shared the same mesmerizing yet terrifying hazel eyes. She swallowed thickly.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she murmured.

Russell smiled, taking a swig of scotch. "Why don't you go on upstairs and do your homework? Let your mother prepare us some dinner."

Quinn nodded and raced upstairs. Once in her room with the door securely closed, Quinn flung herself at her bed and buried her face in her pillow, still gripping the note meant for a pair of deep brown eyes.

Rachel hated her. The one person Quinn never wanted to hate her would never want to talk to her again. A surge of sobs wracked through her body as she released the letter from her grip and clutched onto her pillow.

Now Rachel would never know that she was Quinn's best friend. She'd never know that Quinn thought she was special and too good for everyone in school. Her tears drenched her pillow.

Rachel would never know that Quinn loved her.

Quinn missed dinner. Her appetite was shot the instant she realized Rachel would never read her letter. She reread her words over and over again out loud, willing Rachel to hear her.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hey guys! So, just a little heads-up, this is the last chapter in the past. For the rest of the story it's full steam ahead in the present. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you so so much for all of the reviews, favorites, and story alerts! They mean so much to me :D Please drop me a review! I'd love to hear what you think. Happy Friday!_


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

_May 24th, 2011 _

_Junior Year_

"_We might as well be strangers"_

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to American Airlines! My name is Tammy and I will be one of your flight attendants on your journey to New York. Please buckle your seat belts. We are about to take off!"

Quinn did as she was told, strapping herself in tightly. Stuck in between an elderly businessman typing away on his laptop and a snoring woman, Quinn sighed, praying for the flight to be over. It was her first time on a plane. She was terrified, and she was sure that she wasn't the only one in the club who felt that way. Mercedes brought six pairs of earplugs. Tina was practically in Mike's lap. The only one who seemed totally unfazed by the flight was Rachel, but Quinn had expected that. The girl had been dreaming about this flight since childhood; of course she wasn't afraid.

Leaning her head back into the hard seat, Quinn tried to close her eyes and drift off to sleep, but her task proved impossible. Her mind was consumed with the brunette and that day in the locker room.

Two weeks without speaking to Rachel was hell. Quinn spent her nights staring at her cellphone, debating for hours whether she should just call her and apologize. What was wrong with her? Rachel was there saying that she wanted to be with her. Rachel had kissed her for God's sake, and what did Quinn do?

Nothing.

In the locker room, everything had felt like it was too much. The intense feelings that had overtaken her had scared the hell out of the blonde. It was like when she told Santana that one night about how terrified she was of her love for Rachel. Rachel had her heart, and with that came the power to destroy her. Quinn's mouth had dried up suddenly and she couldn't speak. A pair of loving brown eyes had stared at her in anticipation, and Quinn had watched as they literally broke in front of her, all because she wasn't brave enough to fight for Rachel.

She was terrified in that moment. The instant she felt herself kiss back, hungry for a pair of lips that didn't belong to a boy, everything became real. She was gay. She was in love with a girl. It wasn't just some fantasy she had had night after night. This was different than bickering with Santana about her sexuality, nonchalantly mentioning wanting to kiss Rachel or that she was a better fit for Rachel than Finn was. Rachel kissed her, and asked her to be with her. It was too much for her to handle. All of her repressed feelings scared her into silence. Her body shut down, locking her lips and holding her words hostage.

For some reason, her mind wandered back to her father. He had never said to her that being gay was a sin. It was implied, because after ten years of bible school every Sunday, Russell assumed that his daughter was well-informed. He was never outwardly homophobic; it was more a hidden hatred of the lifestyle he kept swept underneath the rug.

Quinn wasn't religious anymore, but she sometimes still found herself leaving home during the afternoon while her mother was at work to go to her church. There, she sat in the last pew and let her mind sift through her problems in the peace and quiet. She talked to God sometimes about Rachel, about her pregnancy and Puck, about her sins and regrets, hopes and fears. It was just nice having someone to talk to who wouldn't judge her.

The thought of going to hell still frightened her. It was completely stupid. Hell didn't exist. Quinn stopped believing in it long ago; but in that locker room, with Rachel's lips suddenly on hers as her entire body exploded at the touch, Quinn went from feeling inexplicably happy to irrationally guilty.

Then, when Rachel asked if Quinn was embarrassed by her, Quinn's mind went blank. Why would she be embarrassed by Rachel? More importantly, why would Rachel ever believe that?

The years of silence and neglect and abandonment and bullying hit Quinn like a freight train. She didn't deserve Rachel. Maybe that was why she couldn't believe Rachel had asked to be with her. Why in the world would she do that? The question haunted her mind. How could she be good enough for someone like Rachel?

That night, Quinn had locked herself in her room. She had turned off her phone and her computer, made herself a cup of tea, and read until her eyes burned. Sunday was no different. When she came to school Monday and turned her phone back on, she had twelve messages. Three of them were from her boss asking her why she missed her Sunday shift. The rest were from Santana, ordering her to get her ass over to the brunette's house.

Eighth period, Quinn ran into Santana and Brittany who were, to her surprise, leaning by her locker, fingers entwined, shoulders barely touching, giggling about who knew what.

"Jesus, Q, did you lose your phone or something? Or did you just fall off the face of the earth?"

The blonde smiled weakly, plopping her books into her locker, and didn't respond. When she pulled her head out of her locker, Quinn found Brittany whispering something in Santana's ear that caused her best friend to blush profusely.

"I guess I'll just... go to class now," Quinn said awkwardly.

As much as she was happy for her best friend, Quinn couldn't help but wonder. That could have been her and Rachel. She could be holding Rachel's hand and whispering in her ear. Instead, she walked down the hallways alone, the brunette nowhere to be found, wallowing in her sorrow.

The day dragged by. She and Rachel shared several classes and Glee rehearsal. It quickly became clear to Quinn that Rachel wasn't going to talk to her. The vacant seat next to her in each class and at rehearsal was evidence of that. Quinn's eyes constantly flickered from Rachel to her blank notebook. She gave up on paying attention in class. Once Rachel caught her glance and her front broke momentarily. For a split second, Quinn saw the hurting girl hiding behind the confident facade.

Everything she felt in the locker room came rushing back like a flash flood. Quinn drowned in her regret and guilt and unrelenting feelings for the girl who had returned to ignoring her.

Quinn walked to Santana's after school. That girl had a lot of explaining to do. The cool air cleansed her in a way that only a winter-spring hybrid breeze could do. She reached Santana's home within half an hour.

After knocking on the door, Quinn waited until Santana's mother opened the door with a bright smile. Immediately she was pulled into a smothering hug before Santana came to her rescue.

"Basta, mamá!" she cried.

Her mother rolled her eyes before returning to the kitchen where she and Santana's little brother were preparing dinner.

"Sup, Q. I'm guessing you're here for an explanation."

Quinn nodded, and followed Santana up to her room.

"I took your advice," Santana began once her door was securely shut.

"What advice?"

Santana plopped down on her bed, gesturing for Quinn to join her.

"I quit being a pussy today and told Brittany how I felt about her," she confessed.

Quinn rushed to hug her friend, settling in her arms easily.

"I'm so proud of you, San," Quinn whispered.

She felt Santana squeeze her tighter. "Thanks, Quinn."

"So you're together?" Quinn asked after releasing herself from Santana's arms.

"Mhm," Santana murmured happily.

The two remained silence for a while, Santana off in her own world and Quinn in hers. They did that sometimes. Sometimes for hours the pair would simply rest together and let the silence wash over them. Quinn hoped today would be one of those days since she really was not up to talking about Rachel.

"Alright, spill," Santana suddenly ordered. "What the hell is going on with you and Berry? The girl was practically suicidal in rehearsal today."

Quinn sighed and rolled over to the wall. "I'm an idiot."

"Well, I know that, but what does that have to do with Berry being so depressed?

Quinn couldn't look at Santana. She couldn't bear the look she would get once she told her what had happened.

"She kissed me on Saturday after work. And then she asked me to be with her."

"Alright, Q! Atta girl! Why the hell is that a bad thing though?" Santana wondered aloud.

Quinn breathed in shakily, feeling the same familiar suffocation. "I didn't say that I wanted to be with her."

Santana blinked.

"Why the hell not? Quinn, are you a moron? You've wanted to be with her since forever! What's going on?"

Quinn, suddenly defensive, shot out of the bed.

"I don't know, okay! I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, S! She was right there, asking me to be with her and I couldn't even say anything!" Quinn exploded, hot tears burning down her cheeks.

"What happened to not being a pussy?" Santana pushed on, determined to get whatever it was that was bothering her friend out in the open.

"Rachel's a girl, Santana!" Quinn yelled back.

"Yeah, so? Brittany's a girl too. What does that have to do with anything?"

Quinn threw up her hands in exasperation. "I'm not supposed to want this. She's not who I'm supposed to end up with!"

Santana gazed at her friend as she fell apart. "But you do want this, Quinn. Don't you get that? It doesn't matter what you're supposed to want. All that matters is that you want her and she wants you. Why is this so complicated?"

The blonde finally released all of her anger, her confusion, and her guilt out into the open. "Because she's a girl!"

"That's what this is about?" Santana asked, mouth agape. "After all of these months of loving Rachel, and you decide to have your identity crisis now?"

Quinn wiped her tears and plopped onto the bed, inhaling deeply. Her best friend tentatively took a seat next to her.

"Look, I know what you're going through, okay? I spent my entire life loving Brittany. The instant I figured it out I freaked out. It took me to a while to finally accept it," Santana said quietly.

Quinn slumped herself against Santana's sturdy frame, and the brunette hooked her arm around her waist.

"How?"

Santana sighed, stroking Quinn's arm tenderly. "My best friend called me a pussy, and then I realized that she was right."

The blonde grinned, allowing a small laugh to bubble out of her mouth.

"I'm serious, Quinn. It's not easy, but sometimes you need to say 'fuck this, I'm not afraid. I love this girl and that's all that matters.'"

-/-

Rachel was bouncing in her seat. Finn was sitting next to her with unusually large headphones on his ears. She could hear his music from her seat. Rachel peered across the aisle and saw Quinn, eyes closed, blonde hair splayed against her seat. Her face was completely serene. She was breathtaking. For a moment, she forgot that Quinn broke her heart.

Noah comforted her in a way her fathers couldn't. While she cried, sobs wracking her body, the boy held on to her with strong and sturdy arms. She explained to him what had happened, her heart breaking all over again as she relived that moment. When she was finished, Noah was silent. His brown eyes were indecipherable.

"Say something," Rachel whispered.

He sighed, releasing Rachel from his arms so he could look at her in the eye.

"Rach, before I say what I'm gunna say, you gotta promise not to get upset with me."

The brunette nodded, bracing herself for whatever would come out of his mouth.

"I think Quinn's just afraid. Look, I see how she looks at you, Rachel. I've never seen anybody look at you like that. Not Finn, not Jesse, no one. She loves you, but think about it for a second. Her family is uber Catholic, right? Maybe she's just scared about being gay or something."

Rachel sat for a while, lips sealed. She had never met Quinn's father or her older sister. Judy was the only member of the Fabray family she actually knew. For all she knew, Mr. Fabray could have been a complete homophobe.

"But why wouldn't she tell me that? I mean, yeah that could be true, but why didn't she say anything?" Rachel asked.

Noah shook his head. "I don't know Rachel."

The flight lasted another hour before Tammy, their trusty flight attendant, announced their arrival. Rachel woke up the sleeping boy beside her.

"Finn!" she hissed. "We're here!"

Finn sleepily opened his eyes. Rachel looked back to Quinn who was, to her surprise, smiling sadly at her. They had talked about New York multiple times. Each time, Rachel's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. Quinn would always beam at her excitement.

"You belong there, Rach," Quinn always said, giving her hand a light squeeze. "They'll never know what hit them."

Rachel pushed that memory out of her mind and focused on the present. They unloaded off of the plane together, leaving Quinn behind with Santana and Brittany, who had no doubt been making out for the entire duration of the flight.

"Woah," Finn murmured when they left the airport and met the sight of hundreds and hundreds of large buildings, and a sea of people, and the city they had all dreamed about countless times before.

After taking a cramped shuttle ride to the hotel, the club trudged into the lobby, luggage in hand. Mr. Schuester checked them all in, and they took the elevator up to their rooms. It was decided that the girls and Kurt would share one room and the boys would share the other. Mike brought up the music and costumes up to the rooms while Noah brought his guitar.

Santana had approached Mr. Schuester, before talking to Brittany, asking to write one of their songs for Nationals. Her teacher smiled and agreed, as long as it wasn't offensive like her previous creation, "Trouty Mouth." Within a day, Santana had written her song, laying all of her feelings for one blonde dancer in a three minute song. The day after she showed her work to the club, Santana told Brittany that she loved her. When the club decided on singing the song "Light Up the World," Brittany kissed Santana full on the lips in front of the entire group. Afterwards, Santana proudly introduced the club to her girlfriend.

The other song was still up for grabs. Finn took it upon himself to announce that he would write the final song for New Directions, a duet, a love song. The boy immediately asked Rachel if she could help him. She was flattered, but she wasn't sure she could handle writing a love song when her heart was in pieces.

Nevertheless, Rachel accepted his offer and began to write. At first, everything she wrote was wrong. Nothing worked, and she couldn't get a word down without wanting to cry for hours. Then one night, while surfing through channels in her living room, Rachel stumbled upon the Disney Channel. High School Musical was on, and in an instant she was transported back to the night before the first day of school. She was in Quinn's arms, and Quinn was telling her about their first day. Rachel remembered how Quinn's eyes brightened when Rachel told her that she was perfect, how she lightly stroked her arm. They were so close that night. Their faces were within inches of each other, and all Rachel could think about in her sleepy haze was how soft Quinn's lips looked.

Rachel shot up from her couch. Quickly, she ran to the kitchen, grabbed a legal pad and pen, and viciously began writing. The words flowed out of her broken heart onto the yellow lined paper immediately. Half an hour later, Rachel had the lyrics to what would be a duet between her and Finn. Her heart was aching, and by the end she was openly sobbing in her bedroom; but she had her song and that was all that mattered.

When she showed him the song, Finn was awestruck. He fell in love with her all over again. The song had to be about him, it just had to be. Why else would Rachel agree to write it? Why else would she be so emotional about it? Finn smiled, and told Rachel that it was amazing. They rehearsed it for a week, before it was perfect. During their week together, Finn hatched a brilliant plan to win back his girl, but he couldn't do it without the help from the Big Apple.

"Alright guys," Mr. Schuester said once the club was gathered in the boys' room, "I want you guys to get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow we'll rehearse in the morning, get some lunch around the city, and I'll let you guys wander around for the rest of the day. The day after that is Nationals! I know we'll be ready, but for now let's focus on being well-rested for the performance."

The club dispersed to their respective rooms. As fate would have it, Quinn and Rachel would share one of the two beds. Tina and Mercedes and Kurt got the other king sized bed, while Santana and Brittany shared the cot. Lauren decided to sneak into the boys' room to be with Puck. No one protested.

After they were all showered and in their pajamas, it was 12am, and everyone thought it best to just hit the hay. Brittany took Santana into her arms, their bodies melding effortlessly. Quinn saw the smile etched onto her best friend's face, and she couldn't help the surge of happiness she felt. They got their happy ending. Quinn looked to Rachel, who was waiting for her to choose which side of the bed to sleep on.

"Don't be silly, Rach," Quinn said without thinking, "We both know the right side's yours."

Rachel swallowed thickly, trying to keep her feelings at bay, and nodded, pulling back the covers and laying on the right side of the bed. Quinn berated herself internally for being so insensitive. The lights went out, and Quinn stared up at the ceiling, trying valiantly not to pull Rachel into her arms.

She heard the smaller girl's shallow breaths. Rachel was nowhere near asleep. For an hour, the two felt like there was an ocean between them, and neither was brave enough to swim across it into each other's arms.

-/-

Once Mr. Schuester declared the rehearsal over, Rachel checked her phone. Her fathers had texted her twice wishing her luck in New York. Rachel quickly responded, and as she was closing the device, it vibrated with a new message.

**Meet me in Central Park at Bow Bridge. Dress up. Finn.**

Was Finn... asking her out? Rachel stared at her phone, puzzled at the message. Maybe he wanted to talk about the song? Yeah, that was probably it. After getting made up, Rachel met Finn on the bridge. She was greeted with flowers, a nice albeit corny touch.

_A work date. Really?_

Rachel wasn't an idiot. It was obvious to her that Finn was doing this to win her back. While they walked through Central Park, past the runners and families picnicking on the lawns, Rachel's mind constantly drifted back to Quinn, those sad hazel eyes and broken voice.

Finn took her to a restaurant, where she met the legendary Patty Lepone. To say she had been starstruck would have been a colossal understatement. She wasn't able to fully process what was going on.

Despite the fact that her ex-boyfriend could be a complete moron, tonight he was sweet and considerate and everything she wanted him to be normally.

As they strolled down the street, the bright night sky above them, Sam, Puck, Artie and Mike began to serenade her. She sighed, and felt herself returning to a time before Quinn, to a time where she truly believed that she was in love with Finn. It was so simple then.

Their arms looped, and Rachel leaned her head on Finn's arm, sighing somewhat happily.

"Wait," he said suddenly, bringing them to a halt. "This is the moment in those romantic comedies where... I kiss you."

Rachel began to panic. Her eyes landed on Finn's lips as he ran his tongue over them. He looked so hopeful. His sweaty hands took hers. They didn't fit like she and Quinn did. They weren't as soft as Quinn's.

"I thought this was just a work date," she said lamely.

s

Finn smiled, holding back a nervous laugh. "Really?"

Rachel returned the smile and shook her head. "No," she murmured.

_Ugh, stop looking at me like that!_

He reached down, taking her chin into his large palm. Just as his lips were centimeters away, Rachel stopped him.

"I can't," she breathed.

When Finn pulled back and looked into her eyes, the guilt tripled ten-fold. Her heart was throbbing, throbbing for Quinn and aching for Finn. Yes, he broke her heart and tried to cheat on her, but he would always be her first love.

"Take a chance on me," he begged, the corner of his lip rising into a half-smile.

He began to lean in again, his eyes snapped shut and he laid a heavy hand on her arm. All she saw was Quinn, her deep hazel eyes, and porcelain skin, those golden locks and perfectly crafted lips.

"I'm sorry, Finn," she whispered, her voice choked with guilt. "I can't."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hey guys! What did you guys think of this chapter? Things are definitely speeding up! Thank you all so much for the reviews! Keep em' coming! We're in the final stretch of the story. Happy Monday!_


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

_May 25th, 2011_

_Junior Year_

"_Well I tried and I tried"_

The next morning, when Quinn opened her eyes, Rachel, Kurt, and the rest of the girls were gone. They spent the morning rehearsing Santana's song until they were sick of it.

Quinn didn't want to eat lunch with the other girls. Frankly, she was sick of their trivial discussions over their costumes and boys. After rehearsal, she wandered upstairs and sat on the bed she and Rachel had shared the night before. The maids hadn't come in yet to clean their room. She ran her fingers over where Rachel had slept, running them up and down the cool wrinkly sheet. It smelled like Rachel.

Quinn got up and wandered towards the window. Below her, hundreds and hundreds of people were going about their day. They had meetings they were late to, classes to attend, lives to live. All of these individuals melded into a large sea of people streaming up and down the streets. Watching it from above, Quinn felt so insignificant.

Her chest tightened. In two years, Rachel would be down there amidst the crowd. She would be walking down those streets, holding a cup of Starbucks coffee, heading towards Juilliard. Where would she be in two years? Would she be stuck in Lima in a community college? Would she still be regretting that day in the locker room?

A lone tear cascaded down her cheek. She was such an idiot. After talking with Santana, the idea of her being gay was starting to sink in. It didn't scare her nearly as much as it did that day in the locker room. Her feelings for Rachel only amplified since losing her. She was the protagonist of her dreams and daydreams. Scenarios of them kissing, and holding hands, and being a couple plagued her mind to the point where it was all she thought about.

Now it was too late.

Suddenly, that same suffocating feeling overcame her, causing her to stumble to the bed, sobs coursing through her body.

And then the door opened.

-/-

When Santana burst into the room, her eyes immediately landed on a distraught Quinn.

Her eyes were puffy and swollen. Blonde hair was up in a messy bun, and no make-up polluted her skin. She looked like she hadn't slept in days.

"Quinn?" she asked, causing the girl to jump out of her skin.

"Uh..." Quinn started, sniffling and swiping at her face, "sorry, I was just... uh..."

The room grew silent.

"Okay, listen up, Q, this needs to stop," Santana stated bluntly.

"What?"

The brunette laughed emptily. "Don't play stupid. I guess I should let you know that while you were up here having a fucking pity party, Finnept asked out your girl, and now they're probably macking out somewhere in the big city. So, congratulations."

Quinn's jaw dropped.

"That moron asked her out on a date?" Quinn asked, trying not to sound hurt.

Who was she kidding? She was more than hurt. It had only been three weeks since they kissed. Of course Finn would swoop in and take her... friend away.

_Fucking friend zone._

"That's right, blondie. You gunna do anything about it?" Santana challenged.

Quinn's blood started to boil.

"I don't know! Is there anything I can do? I'm all ears, S, give me some suggestions," Quinn spat back.

"When was the first time you ever told Rachel that you loved her?"

Quinn paused for a moment. She sifted through her memories with the brunette, every swim lesson, every play date, every stolen glance from across the playground. Only one moment came to mind.

"Well," she began, "I never actually told her this, but in sixth grade when my parents made me stop taking swim lessons, I wrote her a letter."

"A letter? Fuck, Q, look who's going all _Notebook_ on us!" Santana teased with a laugh.

Quinn slapped her best friend on the arm.

"Ow!" she hissed. "Alright, what did the letter say?"

"I told her why I was quitting, and that she was special, and that I loved her," Quinn said softly.

Santana sat down on the unmade bed. "Why didn't you give it to her?"

Quinn shook her head and joined her best friend. "My mom wouldn't let me."

Santana turned to her. Her eyes pierced through the blonde.

"You wouldn't happen to have that letter still, would you?"

A blush crept up Quinn's cheeks.

"Dude, you need to show her it. Now," Santana said.

"What if it doesn't work?" Quinn asked, her voice laced with doubt.

Santana jumped off of the bed.

"Seriously? Quinn, you'd have to be a complete idiot not to see how Rachel feels about you. If you keep waiting, doubting yourself and telling yourself that it's too late, sooner or later it will be too late. She's on a date, Quinn. Rachel is on a date with Finn, and you're sitting here feeling sorry for yourself."

Santana was right. Enough was enough. Quinn could feel the brunette slipping through her fingers, just as she feIt her drifting away six years ago when she wrote her letter. It was time to stop being a coward. It was time to fight for Rachel.

"Okay," Quinn said quietly. "But I can't wait to show her the letter. I gotta tell her now. It's time to stop being a pussy."

Santana grinned. "Bout damn time, Q."

-/-

Rachel's heart was pounding. The drama of the past month had caused her to temporarily forget about the competition. They were in New York. They were at Nationals, and she was about to sing a duet, a love song, about Quinn, with Finn.

Aside from her date with Finn, Kurt had taken her to the theater where _Wicked_ was originally performed. Together they sang on a Broadway stage, and for the first time the reality of her dream crushed her like a piano falling from the sky. She would do anything to get one more chance to sing on that stage. In that moment she envisioned herself belting her heart out in front of a full house, finally being the star she knew she could be.

As she stared at her reflection in her dressing room mirror, Rachel tried to picture herself here in New York with Finn. How could they possibly make it together when her dreams were so much bigger than Lima? How could-

"Rachel?"

Rachel knew whose voice said her name before she met the Quinn's gaze. Her eyes were sparkling with determination.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked.

Quinn bit her lip, looking behind her and then to the floor, then back to Rachel.

"You look beautiful," Quinn offered timidly.

Rachel couldn't help the blush that warmed her cheeks. "Thanks."

"I need to tell you something," the blonde breathed out nervously.

Rachel's heart was racing. She watched as Quinn took a deep, anxious breath.

"I-,"

"Rachel, come on, we're almost up!"

Rachel whipped around and suddenly was face to face with the boy she was about to sing with. He looked nervously at Quinn. Rachel could have sworn she saw the girl growl at him.

"Hudson."

"Quinn. If you don't mind, Rachel and I need to go win a show choir competition," Finn said arrogantly, grasping onto Rachel's arm.

Quinn's mouth opened to say something. Curiosity was fighting to get the better of her thoughts, but as Finn tugged onto her arm Rachel decided to push Quinn out of her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Quinn. I need to go," Rachel said with a wobbly voice, and let herself be tugged away.

A few minutes later, Rachel was standing in front of a curtain, waiting for the performance to start. Her mind was racing. When she turned to look at Finn, she found him staring at her. Before she knew it he was walking towards her with his hands balled into fists by his side.

_Okay, just forget about Quinn for now. We've got a competition to win. _

"I think we have an amazing song here, Finn," she said quietly.

"We both know this song is yours, Rachel," Finn admitted in a whisper.

An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Finn fidgeted anxiously.

"Okay, who cares about the song? What I don't understand is all you've ever wanted is for us to be together, and I'm basically standing here begging for you, and suddenly you're not interested."

Rachel laughed. "You think that all I've ever wanted is for us to be together, Finn?"

The boy stared at her dumbly, completely floored by her question.

"Look, Finn, you're a great guy when you want to be. Last night was really romantic, but completely inappropriate. You were going to cheat on me with my best friend. You expect me to just forget about that with a walk through Central Park and some flowers?"

"Why are you being like this?" he asked. "You go and write this song for us to sing together, and now you're trying to convince me that you don't love me? I know you love me, Rachel. We belong together."

Before Rachel could retaliate, the announcer announced the New Directions, and it was time to perform.

"You'll see," Finn whispered before returning to his spot.

The curtain drew back to reveal a full house. As the music began, Rachel closed her eyes, inhaled, and started to sing.

_Face to face and heart to heart_

_We're so close yet so far apart._

_I close my eyes_

_And look away_

_That's just because I'm not okay._

Rachel paced the stage, staring into Finn's desperate eyes but only seeing Quinn's.

_But I hold on_

_I stay strong_

_Wondering if we still belong._

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling?_

_Reach down underneath_

_And tear down all the walls?_

_Will we ever have a happy ending?_

_Or will we forever only be pretending?_

_Will we always be pretending?_

_-/-_

Quinn stood backstage along side Santana, watching as Rachel belted out the song that Finn supposedly wrote. The lyrics reached her and tore at her heart, and they seemed to tell her that this song wasn't Finn's. It was Rachel's, and it was meant for Quinn.

_How long do I fantisize_

_Make believe that it's still alive?_

_Imagine that, I am good enough_

_And we can chose, the ones we love._

_But I hold on_

_I stay strong_

_Wondering if we still belong._

Rachel's eyes welled up with tears, and Quinn willed herself to hold it together and not run on stage and kiss her. She just wanted to take Rachel by the hand and tell her that their love was still alive, that she was good enough, and that they did belong together. She could give Rachel a happy ending.

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling?_

_Reach down underneath_

_And tear down all the walls?_

_Will we ever have a happy ending?_

_Or will we forever only be pretending?_

_Will we always be pretending?_

_Keeping secrets safe_

_Every move we make._

_Seems like no ones letting go_

_And it's such a shame_

_'Cause if you feel the same_

_How am I supposed to know?_

Rachel's voice stopped her heart. Alongside the rest of the club, Quinn walked slowly onto the stage and joined the pair already singing. Her eyes flickered to the brunette who was already staring right at her. Everything inside Quinn exploded as she felt the pain and the love Rachel was channeling toward her with one brief glance. Quinn nodded with a small smile, and then Rachel tore her eyes away to look back to Finn, who was gazing at her with love and affection.

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling?_

_Reach down underneath_

_And tear down all the walls?_

_Will we ever have a happy ending?_

_Or will we forever only be pretending?_

_Will we always be pretending?_

The song came to an end, and the crowd erupted into applause. Quinn peeked behind her and saw that Rachel was gazing into Finn's eyes.

_No._

Rachel should be looking at Quinn that way, not Finn. Rachel should be singing this song with her, not Finn.

Quinn felt her heart sink as Finn cupped Rachel's small face and leaned in.

-/-

The instant her eyes locked onto Quinn's, Rachel forgot where she was. The audience and music melted away. Everything went quiet. Her stomach ached with desire as those deep pools of hazel willed her to come home. Then Quinn nodded, offering her a small smile that melted her heart. She couldn't handle this. Those eyes and that smile were too much. For a moment it seemed like Quinn... wanted her.

Rachel returned her gaze to Finn. He was smiling at her with tears in his eyes.

And then, as the song ended, a pair of heavy lips smothered her. What was he doing? Everything was wrong. Finn kissing her was wrong. His lips weren't soft enough, not gentle enough. His hand felt like is weighed a thousand pounds as it rested on her cheek. Rachel's mind was racing and her body was screaming at her to stop; but Finn kept kissing her and the audience that was once applauding them had gone completely silent.

Finn finally released her from his grip, and offered her a hand. All she could do was accept, and plow through the rest of the performance. Her heart was in her throat, and she could have sworn that she felt a pair of hazel eyes boring through her.

Santana took over for her, thankfully, and began her song. The pounding of the base and strum of the electric guitar distracted Rachel enough to smile and act like she was having a great time when really she was unbelievably confused. The club danced and sang their hearts out. Rachel sang along with them, hoping that the audience would forget the impromptu kiss and focus on their talent as a choir.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hey guys! I'm sorry for the Finchel but I promise it was a necessary evil :) Thank you so much for all of the reviews and such. Please, keep them coming! Happy Wednesday!_


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

_May 27th, 2011_

_Junior Year_

"_All the things I ever wanted you to know"_

The library was bustling with students cramming for final exams. Rachel walked down each aisle looking for the boy that would surely be brooding somewhere amongst the books. Sure enough, Finn was slumped against a book shelf, holding a snow globe in his hands.

Rachel sighed. "What are you doing here, Finn?"

He wouldn't look at her. "Hiding out. Everyone hates me."

"No they don't. That doesn't explain why you haven't said a word to me since we got back."

Finn winced. "Because you should be more pissed at me than everyone else. I screwed up. I'm humiliated. And you and Santana and everyone worked so hard, and- and I was supposed to be this big shot leader holding everyone together and... I blew it, cost us the championship."

Rachel slid down next to Finn. "Look, being an artist is about expressing your true feelings in the moment no matter what the consequences. What were you feeling in that moment?"

Finn closed his eyes. "That I loved you, and that I was so sorry for everything I've done to you. And that I would have done or... given anything to kiss you one more time."

Rachel nodded, dreading what she was about to do.

"So you did. You know, you gave it all up for one kiss."

Finn sighed, looking down at his hands, his heart overflowing with guilt.

"Was it worth it?" Rachel asked softly.

"Yeah," he breathed, playing with the snow globe in his hands. " But I know it wasn't worth it for you."

Rachel couldn't look Finn in the eye. It was true.

"I'm so sorry, Rach," Finn murmured, his voice dripping with regret. "I shouldn't have kissed you or asked you out or tried to cheat on you. Truth is, I'm just so... scared."

"What are you scared of?" Rachel asked.

Finn sniffled, taking her hand in his. "I'm scared of losing you. I know that I'm not good enough to leave Ohio, okay. And even though I know that you're gunna leave someday to Broadway and become famous, I tried to keep you here because... I really love you, Rach."

Rachel nodded, wiping away a rogue tear.

"I know," she whispered, squeezing his hand.

They stayed there for a while. Rachel leaned her head on Finn's shoulder, closed her eyes, and let the sounds of the library consume her. Finn relished the moment. It would probably his last one like this with Rachel, like they were together. He had to let her go eventually. Letting his tears fall freely, Finn held onto Rachel until the librarian yelled at them to get out because ninth period was over.

He sighed, let her go, and offered her a hand. Pulling her up onto her feet, Finn smiled sadly.

"I'll see you around, Rachel."

-/-

Quinn stood in her room with her letter in her hand. The paper was worn from her reading it so many times. She went to her desk, grabbed her car keys, and went downstairs. Her mother was cooking dinner, the aroma of the mushrooms in the skillet rising into the air.

"Hey, Mom," Quinn said as she took a seat at the counter.

"Are you going somewhere?"

Quinn nodded. "Rachel's."

Judy continued to sauté the mushrooms. "Okay. Dinner'll be ready by eight, so don't be gone too long."

Quinn gave her mother a quick kiss and was off. Borrowing her mother's car, Quinn left for Rachel's house ready to put her heart on the line. The letter sat in the passenger seat, a constant reminder of what she was about to do.

A few minutes later, Quinn arrived at the Berrys. She killed the engine, sitting in the silence of the spring evening. Swallowing down her nerves, Quinn left the car, walked up the steps, and placed the letter addressed to Rachel Berry on the doorstep.

She took a deep breath, pressed the doorbell, and sprinted back to her car.

-/-

Leroy jumped from the kitchen when he heard the doorbell ring. Rachel was upstairs doing schoolwork and Hiram was still at the office finishing off some last minute touches to his latest piece.

Putting down his book, Leroy walked to the door and found no one waiting behind it. He looked down and saw a note addressed to his daughter.

Slowly, he picked up the letter and went back inside. He climbed the stairs and knocked on his daughter's room.

"Rach?"

He heard some light shuffling before the door opened slowly. She looked tired from all of her traveling.

"Someone left you a letter at the door," he said carefully, though he had a pretty good feeling about who that someone was.

Rachel took the letter. The second she saw the handwriting her eyes brightened.

"Thanks, Dad," she said as she closed the door.

Rachel walked over to her bed where she had been camped out doing her English paper. Quickly, she placed her books onto her desk and settled onto her bed. Her hands were shaking, but she had to read the letter.

She unfolded the letter carefully. The edges were yellowed, worn from being read over and over. Once completely open, her eyes scanned over eleven-year-old handwriting. It swirled and curled elegantly, but at the same time was childishly sloppy. She could see the eraser marks from misspelled words. Quinn's words bore into her soul. She was so innocent, so sad and guilty. Rachel didn't make an effort to conceal her tears.

Rachel read. She read the letter again and again, until she had the entire thing memorized. Her eyes were burning from crying and reading. God, she couldn't breathe. Her eyes glanced over to her clock. It was 11:45pm. With one swift movement, Rachel grabbed her letter and jacket, and proceeded to run down the stairs. She ignored her father and ran to the garage, pulling out her pink bike.

-/-

Quinn gripped her phone tightly in her hand. It had been four hours since she dropped off the letter. Maybe she didn't read it. Maybe she just tossed it in the trash without giving it a second thought. Maybe she read it and hated it and burned it. Quinn rolled over in her bed towards the window, her face illuminated by the spring moon's bright white light. She had had no appetite when she came home and had politely declined her mother's meal. She spent the remainder of her night reading and listening to music in her bedroom, doing anything to keep her mind off of Rachel. Now she was laying in the darkness, letting the shroud of the night hide her tears. She really was too late. If Rachel had wanted to say something, she would have called, right? Or texted? Anything. Instead, Quinn's phone had been silent for the entire night. Eventually, Quinn gave up, though she couldn't help the smothering feeling that overcame her heart. Too late.

Her clock read 11:57pm. Rachel was probably asleep. Quinn tired to shut her eyes, but the minute her world became dark she heard a feeble knock on her door.

The door opened slowly, letting in a sliver of light from the hallway. Quinn shot up in her bed, staring at the figure in her doorway. She was short with mussed up hair, and she was clutching a piece of paper.

"Quinn?" a quiet voice asked.

The blonde slowly got out of bed and walked towards her. Her entire frame was shaking.

"Rach?" she breathed.

She saw the brunette smile sadly, holding up the letter.

"When- when did you write this, Quinn?"

Quinn breathed deeply. "I was eleven. I wrote it when I was eleven."

Rachel shuddered, inching closer to Quinn without even realizing it. It was time. It was time to fight.

"Don't you see, Rachel?" Quinn whispered. "I was eleven years old when I wrote that. I was eleven years old when I figured out that I loved you. It just took me five years to open my eyes, to stop being afraid of what this all meant, and do something about it."

"But why didn't you tell me?" Rachel asked, her voice small and insecure.

Quinn shook her head. "I'm scared. I'm scared of loving you because, Rachel, you've had my heart for twelve years. You could destroy me. And then when you kissed me, everything became real. Me loving a girl, me wanting to kiss and be with a girl. And that girl is you. I panicked. I know it's stupid but I didn't know what to do. God, I'm so sorry, Rachel," she confessed.

"You don't think I'm scared too, Quinn? I was with a boy when I fell for you. I was with a boy, and I want to be with a girl. I didn't know- I didn't know how much I felt for you until you sang to me on Christmas. Everything I feel for you... is terrifying," Rachel admitted, tears streaming down her cheeks.

The room was silent as the dark consumed them. Quinn could faintly see Rachel's bright eyes glazed over with unshed tears.

"Quinn?"

"Yes?"

She heard Rachel inhale. "Why did you give me this letter tonight?"

"I-," Quinn began, "I heard that Finn asked you out when we were in New York, and I guess something came over me. So I tried to talk to you before you went on stage but it was too late. And then Finn kissed you and I-I just lost it, Rachel. This was the only way I thought I could get you back."

Rachel folded her arms across her chest. Quinn began to panic.

"You told me once that it was never too late. Remember? Rachel, you do deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, someone who loves you for all of your neurotic crazy high-maintenance weirdness and diva yet completely and utterly adorable tendencies, someone who believes in you, someone who would fight for you, someone who could... love you. I can be that someone, Rachel. I was a coward. I should have fought for you then but I'm fighting for you now. Let me be that someone for you. Please."

The brunette was breathing audibly as she moved closer to Quinn. Her eyes were illuminated by the moonlight and her long locks were shining. Quinn's breath caught in her throat. Slowly, she reached down to entwine her fingers with Quinn's. Her lips were within inches of Quinn's.

"I'm not going to let you be that someone," she breathed, "because you are that someone."

Quinn captured Rachel's lips and felt that familiar surge of electricity ripple through her. Her entire body was vibrating as her hands rested upon Rachel's hips. Their lips began a dance. It filled them up, filled the emptiness they had been feeling without each other. Rachel whimpered as her hand rested upon Quinn's chest.

"Rachel?" Quinn said into Rachel's tingling lips.

"Mhm?"

"I- I love you."

In the dark, Quinn felt Rachel's smile. She felt her pulse, and her heartbeat, and her everything. She just felt Rachel and nothing else.

"I love you too."

Quinn took Rachel's hand and led her to her bed. Throwing back her covers, Quinn pulled Rachel into her arms effortlessly. They fit together like a perfectly crafted jigsaw puzzle. Rachel sighed, fitting her fingers in between Quinn's.

They fell asleep to the sound of each other's breath and to the sound of each other's heart. Quinn's grip on Rachel never wavered, not for a second. They were finally home.

* * *

><p><em>AN: About time, huh? I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It really is one of my favorites. Thank you guys so much for reviewing! They mean so much to me, so keep them coming! Happy Friday!  
><em>


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

_May 29th, 2011_

_Junior Year_

"_The moment your eyes open and you know"_

Russell Fabray lit up a cigarette in his downtown Lima apartment. The afternoon sunlight was streaming in through his opened window, highlighting the sparseness of the space. He had been living here ever since last spring when his daughter had her child. His mistress had accidentally called the house and left a message telling him where they were going to meet for their next date. Judy had come home and listened to the message that would end her marriage.

They weren't officially divorced, not yet anyway. Russell couldn't bring himself to sign the papers his lawyer had given him eight months ago. Surprisingly, Judy hadn't come for them yet, so he just let them collect dust on his coffee table.

Russell only had two regrets. More than anything, he regretted throwing out his baby girl. And if it was possible, he regretted even more cheating on his wife. How did everything fall apart so quickly? One minute he was in love with a perfect family the next he was living alone miles away from his family.

In less than a year he had lost the two people in his life that mattered most, his reckless daughter and loving wife. He hadn't seen either of them in a few months, even though he told them that they were always welcome in his new place. Frankly, he hadn't expected them to visit him. Why would they?

The man sighed, leaning back in his armchair and flipping on his television. For some reason the noise of the commercials comforted him. They made his apartment seem less empty.

His wallowing was interrupted by a knock at his door. With a grunt, Russell got up, stretched his aching back, put out his cigarette and approached the door. To his surprise, when he opened the door, Russell met the eyes of his youngest daughter.

"Quinn?" he asked.

She smiled at him sadly. "Hi, Daddy."

The man stared for a moment, drinking in the image of his daughter. Her light blonde hair fell to her shoulders, and she donned a white blouse and a pair of jean shorts. A pair of yellow flip flops resided on her feet. She looked like her mother.

"Uh-, sorry, come on in," Russell finally said, opening the door wider for his daughter.

-/-

Quinn felt lighter. It was as if she had put on a new pair of glasses and the world looked better the moment she finally was able to be with Rachel. Rachel knew her all too well, and while it terrified Quinn that there was someone in the world that knew her better than herself, it allowed her to explore herself and learn to love herself again.

Her father, though, was unfinished business. His presence in her home was almost nonexistent, but every now and then, Quinn would sneak into his old study, the study that still held his books and diplomas and boxes of college memorabilia, and just breathe. As a girl, Quinn used to play beneath her father's feet as he talked on the phone or scribbled away using his special pen. She would lay on the rough green carpet with her coloring book and crayons and listen to his voice. No one, not even Judy was allowed in his office, but when Quinn had came to Russell with big hazel eyes and an innocent smile, the man conceded and lifted his small child into his arms and placed her onto the floor.

"Quinnie," he said with a tone of secrecy, "this is Daddy's special place. If you're going to be here with me I need you to be extra quiet."

"I will, Daddy," Quinn whispered, nodding faithfully.

Soon, the space became _their_ special place. The room filled with books and awards her father won while the walls were dotted with Quinn's masterpieces. Crinkled papers framed by her mother hung on the walls, and Quinn felt so proud looking at them as a child. It made Russell's special place her special place too.

Now, years later, Quinn stood in the musky office feeling an emptiness that she had ignored since her father abandoned her. She missed his arms, those strong arms that would envelop her in a safe hug. She missed his crooked smile. She missed her father, even though he had betrayed her in the only time she ever really needed him.

For a long time she hated him with every molecule in her body. She hated the smell of alcohol on his clothing she'd inhale when he hugged her. She hated Glenn Beck and the gin and tonics. She hated how he treated her mother, how he ruined her life in one foul swoop.

But most of all, she hated how much she still loved him despite all of the things he had done to their family. Coming out to her mother couldn't have been easier. Her mother watched with teary eyes as Quinn walked through the front door with Rachel's hand tangled in hers.

"Welcome home," Judy had murmured as she took the girls into her arms.

Hiram had practically screamed and suffocated them in a never-ending hug. Leroy had shed a tear but was quick to hide it. He just was overwhelmingly happy and proud of his girls.

The Glee club beamed when they sang their first duet together in honor of their newfound relationship, and Quinn had never felt more at home with herself and with the members of the club that had saved her life more than once.

Quinn was happy, truly content with almost everything in her life. Still, her father haunted her. What would he think if he saw her holding hands with Rachel Berry? What would he say if he saw them cuddling on his couch watching Broadway classics, nuzzling into each other underneath a blanket? Would he further disown her? Would he then truly hate her? How disappointed would he be?

After a week of these questions consuming Quinn's mind, Rachel had to do something. One night, as they laid on the hammock in Rachel's back yard, swaying to the beat of their hearts, Quinn finally let Rachel in.

"Is it wrong that I'm still afraid of what my father would think if he saw us... together?" she whispered in the dead of the night, her voice laced with fear.

"Why would that be wrong?" Rachel asked carefully.

Quinn sighed. "Because I'm suppose to hate him. He ruined my life. He broke my mother's heart. He tore our family apart with his judgment and lies and scared the shit out of me most of the time. But... sometimes, well not really, all the time, I miss him."

Rachel ran her fingers absently through Quinn's loose hair. "I know, baby."

"Part of me wants to go tell him that I'm finally happy, just to rub it in his face, just to show him was a mistake he made, kicking me out, cheating on my mom..."

"But?"

"But I'm... I'm really afraid of what he'd say if I told him I was in love with you," Quinn finally confessed for the first time.

Rachel let the silence wash over them as Quinn nuzzled into her. "What do you want him to know?"

"I want him to know how much I love you. I want him to know how happy I am. I want him to love me again. I don't want him to hate me anymore or be disappointed in me. I want him to apologize. I-I want to forgive him. I want him to love my mom again. But I know that none of that will happen."

"And how do you know that?"

Rachel felt hot tears stain her bare shoulder.

"It just can't."

The brunette shook her head with a small smile. "You need to talk to him, Quinn."

"I know," she breathed.

-/-

The apartment smelled like cigarette smoke and loneliness. There were still a few unpacked boxes dotting the room. The walls were empty and there was a simple couch and television set in the middle of the living room. In the kitchen, the dishes were nowhere to be found and Quinn could still smell the soap in the air.

She followed her father into the living room and sat down on the couch. Her father took the arm chair and looked around nervously. Neither of them knew what to say. Quinn wrung her hands in her lap nervously.

"So," Russell began, "how are you?"

Quinn smiled at her father's attempt at small talk.

"I'm great actually. How are you?"

"I'm... well I've been better," he admitted, "but it's great to hear that you're doing well."

Quinn shifted in her seat. In her mind, she had this speech prepared, but looking at her father who wore sunken eyes and hollow cheeks, the words were gone.

"Are you still cheerleading?"

The blonde nodded. "Yeah. We had a great season actually."

"That's great, honey. And you're still captain?" he inquired further.

Quinn faltered. "N-no. Santana was chosen. But I'm okay with it. It's way too much pressure to be captain."

Russell smiled. "Well, what brings you here? Is everything alright with... your mom and Les?"

"No, everyone's fine. Everyone's fine, it's just I wanted to come and talk to you... about me."

Russell raised an eyebrow. "About you? Is this about that Finn boy?"

Quinn laughed because her father couldn't have been more wrong. "No, Daddy, this isn't about Finn."

For some reason, Quinn was transported back to that day her sophomore year when she sat on the couch with Finn, explaining to her parents that she was pregnant. Her father's eyes bore into her just as they did a year ago, only this time he had no control over her. He couldn't kick her out or disown her. She had a family to go back to. He was all alone.

"I met a girl a while back but I never told you about her. We met at swim lessons when I was five. She and I became very close over the years. There was a problem though. Her dads are gay, and when Mom saw that I was becoming friends with this girl she panicked. She thought you would forbid me to see her. She made me keep her a secret. So I did. For six years I hid her from you until you made me quit swim lessons. After that we avoided each other. Then, for two years I bullied her when I was head Cheerio because everyone said she was a loser. Until this summer, I hadn't spoken to her in five years. I was scared that you or Mom or Leslie would find out.

We met at the pool again this summer. I apologized for everything I did to her. And she forgave me. So we grew closer and closer. And-," Quinn's voice cracked, the tears welling up in her eyes, "and after a while I fell in love with this girl. I don't really know when it happened, but Daddy, it- it did."

The room went silent. Russell looked to his daughter as tears escaped their matching hazel eyes. Quinn repressed the urge to apologize.

"I'm not here to apologize for who I am. This girl, Daddy, she changes me. I can't explain it. I just know that- that she makes me want to be a better person. She's not the quarterback. She's not a boy. And I was so scared by that for a while. I pushed her away because I didn't want to go to hell. I didn't want to disappoint you. But I don't care about that anymore. And I'm here because I wanted you to hear this from me."

Her father remained silent, processing the information being hurled at him. His daughter was gay. She was in love with a girl. A girl.

"Say something," she whispered, hating how scared she sounded.

He was going to yell at her. He was going to scream that she was a disappointment. Quinn braced herself.

Russell got up from his chair slowly to take a seat next to his daughter. Quinn's heart was throbbing, adrenaline pumping through her veins. Suddenly, he took her hand and brushed back a stray wisp of her hair.

"Quinnie," he said softly, "I made a mistake when I threw you out. Every day since then I've hated myself. Do you want to know what I promised myself when your mother kicked me out?"

Quinn shook her head, tears falling freely.

"I promised that if you ever let me back into your life, I would spend the rest of my life making up for my mistakes. The way you talk about this girl, Quinn? The way you just smiled, the way your eyes just brightened? That's how I was when I talked about your mother, when I told my father that I was marrying her because she was pregnant with your sister. He told me to get the hell out of his house. I wasn't his son anymore.

You love this girl? You never let her go, you hear me? Don't you dare let her go. I lost your mother because... because I was stupid and restless. She will always be the woman I was meant for. I know it's too late to fix my mistakes with her, but maybe it's not too late to fix my mistakes with you... is it too late, Quinnie?"

Quinn squeezed the hand in hers, her mind returning to Rachel.

"It's never too late, Daddy."

-/-

Judy paced back and forth in the kitchen. Quinn was out. She had driven to her father's apartment to tell him about Rachel. The entire day she had been cleaning like a mad woman. By four o'clock, the entire lower half of the house was spotless.

She leaned against the counter and closed her eyes. Her heart ached for Russell. Suddenly, a car pulled into the driveway, and from the window Judy could see her daughter and a man emerge out of the vehicle.

"Russell?" she murmured to herself.

The pair walked into the kitchen, and Judy felt her heart speed up. Russell wore a pair of kakis and a dress shirt. His tie was slightly loosened, just as he always used to wear it. She used to tease him about it. Their eyes met, and for a moment Judy forgot about her resentment and their almost-divorce. For a moment, Judy stared into the eyes of a seventeen year old boy, the boy she had fallen in love with.

"Hi," he said softly.

Quinn walked over to her mother, and whispered into her ear, "Give him a chance."

With that her daughter left her parents alone. Russell shuffled from side to side, obviously nervous.

"What are you doing here?" Judy asked.

The man shook his head. "I wanted to talk to you about Quinn... and maybe about us."

Judy stared at him with wide eyes, but eventually nodded and gestured for him to sit down at the kitchen table.

"Judy," Russell began, "do you remember graduation?"

The elder woman smiled wistfully. "Of course I do."

Russell returned the smile. "Remember when I said you were too good for me?"

Judy nodded.

"I was right. You deserve so much more than me. I screwed up. I just- I felt you slipping away and it was getting so hard to pretend like everything was okay, you know? When did everything become not okay? Quinn told me about everything, and Judy? I swear I've never seen her so sure of herself. She reminded me of me, when I proposed to you under the bleachers. I know I probably can never make up for what I did to you and Quinn, but I want to try. You are the only family I have, and even though you don't love me anymore, I- I just can't, no matter how hard I try, stop loving you."

"Russ?" Judy asked, wiping her tears with her shaking hand. "Who said I stopped loving you? Do you think I would be in this much pain if I had stopped loving you?"

Russell shook his head. "What are you saying?"

"Well, I'm not saying that we should go to the chapel and get remarried. I don't know what happened to us either, but we need to figure it out. I don't care that we're not living together or that there are unsigned divorce papers on my dresser. We need to be here for Quinn. She really needs her father right now. I can't promise you anything for us, but can you promise me that you'll stay, stay for Quinn?"

Her husband nodded furiously, tears streaming down his weathered face.

"I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hey guys! I know this chapter was a bit of a change of pace, but it needed to be included. I like giving some closure. What did you guys think? Drop me a review, I'd love to know. Thank you so much! Happy Monday!_


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

_August 4th, 2011_

_Summer into Senior Year_

"_This could be the end of everything so why don't we go somewhere only we know?"_

Quinn loved silence in the summertime. Crickets chirped melodies against the backdrop of a vast blackened sky dotted with bright stars. She could faintly hear the sounds of families barbecuing, the smoke from their grills drifting up into the night. It was a serenity only summer could create. Normally, Quinn spent her nights alone in her backyard on her hammock, swinging back and forth in a bathing suit with a book in her hand, staring up at the sky feeling wholly insignificant. It wasn't a bad kind of insignificance. Quinn reveled in the quiet.

A small brunette splashed around in her pool, interrupting Quinn's beloved silence. Quinn looked across the lawn to the shimmering water. The light from the porch glimmered off of Rachel's tanned skin. Her long brown hair was slicked back and soaking wet, her face free of make-up. Their eyes met at some point, neither knew when, and they hung onto each other. Something shifted in the air. It wasn't a breeze. It wasn't visible, but it was palpable. Quinn swallowed thickly, eyes raking down Rachel's scantily clad body. Her chest was visible now, the water halting at her belly button as she floated in the shallow end. Small droplets of water danced down her skin slowly without purpose. Rachel tore her gaze away in favor of the moon.

Quinn could see small bumps rise on Rachel's bare arm as a small breeze whooshed over her.

She drank Rachel in as the moon peeped out from behind the large tree near the back of her yard, its light shimmering over the dark blue water of her pool, just missing the beautiful brunette. Without warning, Rachel dove beneath the water, leaving small rings in her wake. Quinn searched but was unable to see clearly where she was as the pool lights hadn't been turned on yet. Quinn hopped up and ran to the deck. Quickly she flicked on the pool lights. Her heart stopped when she looked out at the pool. There beneath the water was her girlfriend, swimming gracefully. Her figure was elongated, her legs going for miles, a perfect silhouette. Quinn's breath hitched before she ran back to the hammock, her feet caressing the soft grass with each bound.

As she surfaced, Rachel's eyes locked onto Quinn's as a shy smile spread across her lips. The blonde was swaying lighting on the hammock as she stared back. The silence of the night was assaulted by the harsh beat of her heart hammering in her chest. She was just that gorgeous, and it was becoming harder and harder for Quinn to repress her newfound desires for her girlfriend.

"What?" Rachel teased.

Quinn blushed and shook her head. "Nothing," she murmured.

Rachel splashed, barely reaching the hammock, and gave her a faux-stern look. The blonde chuckled to herself, running a nervous hand through her loose hair and rolling her eyes playfully, choosing not to answer the nosy brunette's question. Rachel's eyes darkened.

"Come here," she said huskily.

Quinn froze. Come in there? Into the pool? With Rachel? While she had barely any clothes on? Rachel extended her index finger and motioned, beckoned her over. She had no choice. Quinn was powerless. Slowly, Quinn lifted herself out of the hammock and walked to the edge of the deep end and crouched down to meet the brunette. Rachel breaststroked over to the nervous blonde. Leaning her dripping arms on the stone edge, Rachel looked up into Quinn's eyes, daring her, challenging her to take a step out of her comfort zone. Their pupils were blown.

Rachel stretched her arms, her muscles flexing tightly, and raised her head to capture Quinn's lips in a searing kiss. Quinn felt a surge of electricity rush through her body as a slow and steady burn built between her legs. She clenched her legs shut, deepening the kiss.

Weren't water and electricity lethal when forced together?

_Screw it_.

Rachel released Quinn and brought their hands together, entwining their fingers in an instant. Quinn's head was swimming. And then she was in the pool, falling, just as she had fallen twelve years ago, into the deep end, into Rachel's strong and ready arms.

A pair of arms captured her faithfully. Quinn felt Rachel's legs treading the water as she held her. Rachel's hands splayed over her knees and back. A shiver ran down her spine. The water was ice cold and yet the fire in the pit of her stomach only burned stronger.

"Rach," she breathed before dipping down to crash their lips into each other.

Rachel pulled away, shaking her head. "Not yet," her eyes seemed to say. The brunette plunged into the water and swam towards the shallow end.

Quinn took a breath of air and descended into the unknown. Her eyes opened and instantly burned from the chlorine. She searched and quickly found her target who was hovering in the shallow end. Without hesitation, Quinn glided over to her girlfriend, grabbing her and swooping her into her arms.

She crouched in the shallow end with Rachel in her arms and just stared. Quinn stared as if she had forever. Why did it feel like she had forever? Rachel danced her fingers up Quinn's glistening arm, licking her lips.

Everything slowed down. Quinn's senses were on overload. Her skin lurched into Rachel's touch and Quinn couldn't tighten her legs otherwise she'd lose her hold on Rachel. Instead, she released a sigh and Rachel smiled.

Their lips crashed into each other creating a fire in the water, a perfect contradiction. Somehow it made sense. Quinn's grip on Rachel tightened as the brunette deepened the kiss, grazing her tongue over Quinn's burning lips. Granting her entrance, Quinn caressed Rachel's tongue. The kiss was languid because apparently Rachel felt like they had forever too. There was no competition. There was no fighting for dominance or trying to further their progress to wherever this was heading.

There was just Rachel. And there was just Quinn.

Quinn let their tongues tangle perfectly. Rachel groaned and slithered out of her arms to slam their bodies together. Now they were standing in sort of a crouch, their stomachs flush against one another. It set them on fire, but somehow they weren't close enough. Quinn rolled her hips into Rachel. It earned her a suppressed moan. Their hips began to set a pace that only seemed to grow faster and faster.

It was intoxicating, the feel of Rachel's smooth skin rubbing against hers. Quinn fisted her wet hair and molded herself into Rachel. And they fit. Rachel was tugging at Quinn's now soaked tank top. Quinn reluctantly released the girl's lips to shed her heavy clothing, tossing it aside somewhere, she didn't care enough to look. Then Rachel tugged at her drenched shorts. The clothing pushed against the water, seemingly pounds heavier than than the light polyester actually was. Within a minute they were gone. The water rocked against her, sliding up and down her body.

Suddenly Quinn felt insecure. Half of her body, her stomach and chest, was completely exposed as the rest of her body was hidden by the warm water. Rachel stopped, her eyes completely focused on her upper body that was shivering in the cold air. Quinn wanted the warmth of the water back. She wanted the warmth of Rachel. Two hungry brown eyes trailed up her body, devouring every inch of her.

Rachel inched toward her almost in slow motion. Her arms hooked around Quinn's neck, and she leaned their foreheads into each other. Quinn could feel her soft breath tickle her exposed skin. A shiver ran down her spine.

"Quinn?" she asked softly.

All Quinn could do was nod as a pair of lips seized hers and almost caused her to combust then and there. But then they were gone. Quinn could feel the tingle from where they had been.

"Are we still on that secret island? The one that's really really far away? The one that only we know about?"

The blonde smiled softly, falling harder than ever. "Yes," she breathed.

Rachel's eyes darkened. "Why does it need to be a secret?"

Quinn searched Rachel's eyes for a hint. Then it hit her, her knees almost buckling.

"Because I don't want to have to share it with anybody else but you, Rach."

Lips kissing lips. Hands touching hands. Skin burning skin. It was fast yet slow. It was terrifying yet electrifying. It was everything they hoped for, yet everything that scared them into oblivion. Quinn drifted them over to the ladder.

"Not here," she breathed between kisses, pulling Rachel with her towards the grass.

Rachel fell on top of her, their centers connecting for the first time. Quinn's hips jerked upwards.

"God," she moaned softly.

Their lips began their dance. Their hands began their travels. And their hearts began their marathons. Quinn's hands landed on the small of Rachel's back. Rachel straddled her, knees connecting with the cool grass, though she was anything but cool. Her lips were burning and numb and hungry for more.

Quinn's breath hitched as Rachel dragged her hands down her stomach, leaving soft red trails along the way. The sky seemed to be spinning so Quinn snapped her eyes shut as soon as she felt Rachel reach her underwear. She seemed to be hesitating, so Quinn let her body take control, her hips rolling up into the hand and her lips pushing into Rachel's.

The brunette complied and carefully rested her hand on Quinn. Quinn sighed in response as fingers gently entered her. Her entire body shook, her brain on overload and her body going haywire. They set into a rhythm and Quinn fisted the grass for support. She felt her body rising, but not literally. Was she seeing stars again? Quinn would roll her eyes at that but she was busy-

"Rachel," she moaned softly into the dark.

Rachel smiled and quickened her pace, reveling in Quinn. The way her hips bucked when she touched her here and the way her eyes flutter when she would just slow down for a moment and then quicken without warning. Watching Quinn react to her body made her bathing suit wet, and not from the pool.

Her body was shaking suddenly. Quinn felt herself falling over the edge and within an instant she was swimming amidst the most inexplicably incredible feeling she had ever felt. Her head was bursting, her heart was pounding, and her eyes were cemented shut. Her body arched upwards to the sky, to the stars. Rachel felt the skin around her unclench so she slowly pulled out, making sure to be careful. Quinn's chest was heaving in and out.

It turned her on. Rachel had never really felt... turned on by anything. And now, now she licked her lips, wiped her fingers on the grass, and stared. She stared at the blonde in the grass with wide, blown eyes. Quinn finally opened her eyes and met Rachel's hungry gaze.

Without hesitation she smiled crookedly and flipped Rachel onto her back with one swift movement. She straddled her, knees planted on the grass. Gently, Quinn moved a stray hair from Rachel's face and let her hand linger on her cheek. Her breath caught in her throat.

Quinn took Rachel's lips hostage with a searing kiss. She heard Rachel groan into her mouth. Keeping the kiss, Quinn trailed her fingers over Rachel's toned stomach and reached her bathing suit bottom. Opening her eyes, Quinn looked to Rachel for a sign. When Rachel practically growled at her to do it, Quinn wasted no time. She pushed back Rachel's dark curls and entered her carefully.

She started slowly. Rachel whimpered upon her entrance, causing Quinn to panic. It was her first time.

"You okay, Rach?" she asked quietly.

The brunette nodded furiously, eyes shut as she reached for Quinn's face to smash their lips together. Quinn entered again and pumped slowly in and out. And Rachel responded instantly. Her hips rocked with her finger as she threw her head back into the grass in ecstasy.

They moved as one. Quinn moved faster and she watched Rachel in awe. Her mouth was slightly opened, her breathing audible and heavy. Her eyes were fluttering and clenched shut. Her skin was shimmering in the moonlight, still damp from their swim. Quinn swallowed thickly, focusing back on the task at hand.

Rachel began to rock more urgently into Quinn. The blonde complied and added another finger. The groan that released from Rachel's mouth was almost enough to send Quinn tumbling over the edge again. Within seconds, Rachel was shaking and her mouth was completely open. Quinn kept going as she took Rachel, ready to catch her as she fell.

Her body was quivering under the stars. Quinn gently pulled out and gracefully laid next to her girlfriend. As Quinn wrapped her arm around her shaking shoulder, Rachel snaked her arm around Quinn's waist. The blonde smiled, stroking Rachel's arm tenderly. They both shivered.

Quickly, Quinn ran to the deck and grabbed two towels. She wrapped them up so their bodies were flush against each other. Rachel finally opened her eyes and stared into Quinn. Quinn wanted to look away but something about the way those eyes hooked onto her made her unable to comply to her desire.

They had forever. Quinn knew it in her heart that they were going to have forever. It was scary to think that this one girl had her heart in a vice grip, that if she wanted to, Rachel could destroy her in an instant. But it wasn't entirely scary. It gave her hope, hope for her future, hope for a life that once bored her but now excited her beyond belief.

So they laid together staring. They didn't need words. They needed to be right where they were, in each other's arms, feeling like they had forever, relishing the warmth of the other's body.

Quinn tightened her grip on the brunette and pulled her close. It was never close enough. Rachel nuzzled her head into the crook of Quinn's neck, sighing contently.

Their relationship wasn't going to be easy. They would have to face the homophobes in their school. They would have to face their futures. Where would they end up? What colleges would they attend? Would they be able to endure the current that swept up her parents and destroyed their marriage? Would what they had be enough?

Quinn looked at Rachel as she closed her eyes and curled closer into her. Her hand idly ran through her wet hair. She felt a hand stroking her stomach tenderly. Inhaling, Quinn allowed her eyes to close and her body to melt.

They had forever.

Forever's a long time, you know.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hey guys! So I am extremely nervous about this chapter. I am not very good at writing smut or sex stuff but this story needed it. Please tell me what you think! Thanks for all of the reviews and such you guys are awesome :) Happy Wednesday! One more chapter left!_


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

_August 20th, 2011_

_Summer into Senior Year_

"_Can anybody find their home?"_

Russell had always thought that buying that damn trampoline would be a waste of money, but the way his youngest daughter had looked up at him with hopeful hazel eyes had caused him to surrender and purchase the damn thing. As he remembered that day years ago, he sat on his deck, lounging with a glass of Judy's iced tea sweating in his hand, watching the sun begin to drop in the sky.

Quinn gazed up at the same sky, in the same yard, on that same damn trampoline she begged her father to buy years ago. Many nights had been spent this way as a child. Looking up at the stars, a young Quinn had lost herself in the bright lights and cricketing bugs. She always felt so small and slightly empty. Now she felt so full. She was filled to the brim with her Daddy's famous hot dogs and macaroni salad. She was filled with love as she laid next to her girlfriend. She felt hopeful yet fearful of their future together, but that didn't seem to matter so much right now.

Rolling onto her belly, the blonde looked deeply into the brown eyes staring away from the sky and now at her.

"Hey," Rachel breathed.

"Hey yourself," Quinn answered faithfully.

They didn't say anymore, rather they let the night consume them. The sky darkened quickly. It only took seconds for their breathing to become synchronized. Quinn's arm snaked around Rachel's petite waist and pulled her closer, letting the warmth spread to her body. Rachel sighed and smiled contently. Bowing her head, Quinn kissed her smooth forehead, the gesture electrifying her body to a practically glowing state, before returning her eyes upwards to the sky.

A hand suddenly covered hers and their fingers entwined perfectly in the dimly lit night. Above them the leaves danced to the music of the wind. It was refreshing, the whoosh of cars combined with the symphony of insects. Rachel shifted her weight a little bit, causing the soft and slippery surface below them to cave in and then up suddenly. They giggled simultaneously, warming the other's souls.

As the two reveled in the other, Russell revised his past thoughts. He never thought in a million years that he'd be sitting in his yard watching his little Quinnie spooning with another girl on that damn trampoline. Even more, he never have imagined himself accepting it let alone enjoying it. He had come to love the sounds of their laugher, the sight of them staring at each other from across a room or cuddling up on the couch in the family room, or the feeling of happiness that was forever engraved upon his Quinnie's face.

"It's crazy, isn't it?"

Russell snapped out of his stare to look up at the woman he had fallen for so many years ago. She had that same awestruck look he had just worn as she gently rested her hand on his shoulder.

"I think we're in it for the long haul," a male voice declared from inside.

Russell and Judy laughed and turned to see Hiram and Leroy through the window, hand in hand, washing the dishes. Russell offered his ex wife a hand and guided her inside to give their daughter privacy.

Quinn watched her parents leave, and swiftly straddled the brunette, looking as if she has no intention other than to stare forever at her girl. After all, they did have forever. Their lips met magnetically. Quinn could practically able to see the sparks fly out of their bodies.

"Yes," Russell said with a hearty laugh as he peaked once more before closing the door, "we most certainly are."

* * *

><p><em>AN: And that's it! I really hope you guys enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Before I leave, I must heavily thank my two incredible betas Tori and Charlie who made this story what it is. I could not have written it without their motivation and care. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and all that other good stuff! You are all awesome! Please, tell me what you thought of the story! Leave me a review :)  
><em>

_Until next time... Happy Friday!_


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